When it Comes to Love, More are Crossing Religious Divides

[SYZ]

From the ABC Australia News site 30 September 2025:

When it comes to love, more of us are crossing the religious divide.

The intro item reports:

If Ryan Beurle had been forced to choose his life partner
from a list of her defining characteristics, chances are,
he never would have married his wife, Frem Lim, who
describes herself as “very religious” and attends church
every Sunday and Bible studies every Friday.

“Before I met Frem, if you’d made it like ‘tick a box of
religious or non-religious’, I probably would have put
non-religious,” Ryan says.

The self-described atheist grew up with some exposure
to Catholicism but says that now, "I just don’t even really
think about it that much...  I mean, I just kind of go, "OK,
well, there might be a God, there might not be a God.
I don’t know. I don’t care".

Well I'm sorry to tell you mate that this makes you an agnostic,
and to erroneously call yourself an "atheist" is due mainly to
your ignorance, as you also say "I don't know".

The rest of this (lengthy) article is well worth reading to see
a current assessment of Aussies and their partners' viewpoints
on religious practices when their religion or non-religions are
at odds, sometimes even diametrically opposed.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-09-28/m.../105779468

Do they actually believe what they're saying deep down?  Or are
they just saying what their partners would like to hear, or maybe
simply pouring oil on potentially troubled waters?

[Rizen]

There are different levels of religiousness. I'd date a Christian if they we're super liberal and saw religion as a cultural thing. I'd never date a fundamentalist and I'd never date someone who's not a Democrat. The problem with being Atheist is your dating pool is extremely limited. There just aren't very many smart people to date.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I had a litmus test for potential partners. I would simply say "I'm not religious enough to be an atheist." Didn't have to run anybody off, didn't have to ask anyone to stay. That one sentence sorted them out for me.

[Unsapien]

As an atheist married to a Catholic wife for now 27 years, I'd like to say that at least from my anecdotal evidence, religion barely comes up, on any daily basis, now my wife like I think many "Catholics" are cultural Catholics, not religious Catholics. If they actually believed in their religion they wouldn't do half of what they're doing IRL.

When I told my wife that I was an atheist.. well first she didn't believe me, but then we talked and we worked out our boundaries, just like you would in any relationship. Our kids went to Catholic school (Canadian public Catholic school, so basically a public school with a cross out front. "Catholic lite"). I told her that I would not let our kids be taught that hell is real. 

Also I told her that unless they asked I wouldn't tell them I'm an atheist, but I would be honest if they did ask. We had more arguments over finances and politics then religion, over the years.

So in my experience, NO they don't (the religious) really believe deep down what they say. 

As for if there's a god, I don't think so, so I'm an atheist, but I also don't care if there's one or not which makes me and possibly him an apatheist.

As for agnostics or gnostics, gnostics whether athiest or theist... Gnosticism is the real the problem. (People who think they know something that they couldn't know)

[Unsapien]

As a bit of an aside, when my wife had a brain aneurysm a few years ago, in our living room while I was on the phone with 911, she was terrified of dying. Nuff said.

[SYZ]

As a bit of an aside, when my wife had a brain aneurysm a few years ago, in our living room while I was on the phone with 911, she was terrified of dying. Nuff said.

Without decreasing the levity of that awful scenario, were you
aware at any time of her audibly praying?

[Unsapien]

No. She didn't. She asked for me.

She lost her sight first, she asked me where I was because she couldn't see me, even though I was just across the living room from her. She knew that, then she just started saying words randomly.

It was the most terrifying experience I've ever faced. 

She never prayed at the time. Did she pray on the way to the hospital... maybe, but knowing my wife, if she did, she wouldn't be praying for herself.

[Fireball]

No. She didn't. She asked for me.

She lost her sight first, she asked me where I was because she couldn't see me, even though I was just across the living room from her. She knew that, then she just started saying words randomly.

It was the most terrifying experience I've ever faced. 

She never prayed at the time. Did she pray on the way to the hospital... maybe, but knowing my wife, if she did, she wouldn't be praying for herself.

That would be really terrifying. Glad she lived through that and is OK?

[Unsapien]

No. She didn't. She asked for me.

She lost her sight first, she asked me where I was because she couldn't see me, even though I was just across the living room from her. She knew that, then she just started saying words randomly.

It was the most terrifying experience I've ever faced. 

She never prayed at the time. Did she pray on the way to the hospital... maybe, but knowing my wife, if she did, she wouldn't be praying for herself.

That would be really terrifying. Glad she lived through that and is OK?

She's mostly okay. but also more melancholy, then I'm comfortable with.

[Aegon]

There are different levels of religiousness. I'd date a Christian if they we're super liberal and saw religion as a cultural thing. I'd never date a fundamentalist and I'd never date someone who's not a Democrat. The problem with being Atheist is your dating pool is extremely limited. There just aren't very many smart people to date.

Entirely depends on how old you are and where you live. If you're a young person in a big city in the U.S., your dating pool would be extremely limited if you were religious.

[Thumpalumpacus]

My sympathies, @Unsapien.

My son's mother was a cultural Catholic, believer while we were together but very not about Mass or baptisms or stuff. When it came to raising him, we agreed that we could each tell him our own views without varnish and devil take the hindmost.

My son, at 28, is an atheist, because reason kicks ass.

I loved and love his mother all the same.

[Unsapien]

One of the things, I've had trouble with is understanding how you can fall out of love with someone.

Can't deal with (insert reason here) . Understood. 

But it's mostly cosmetic

[Thumpalumpacus]

One of the things, I've had trouble with is understanding how you can fall out of love with someone.

Can't deal with (insert reason here) . Understood. 

But it's mostly cosmetic

I've never fallen out of love, I've only decided that at the time the hurt cost more than the love provided.

I always wished her and I could have made it work, and after we broke up we had a healthy and ongoing friendship of many years. But wishing and dreaming don't turn the trick when the lessons you learn each day don't stick.