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Jesus is returning in the next ten years
#1

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Is the newest prediction from Televangelist Jim Bakker
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#2

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Wouldn't that require that the fucker have been here at least once before?
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#3

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
He ain't gonna sell many condos that way. Oh ... maybe it's rentals he's hawking for Jebus this time.
When I was up seeing my cousins in Minnesota, we drove past the prison (near Rochester) in which he was an inmate.
I wonder if Tammy Faye will still look like a corpse in heaven ?
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#4

Jesus is returning in the next ten years


Show ContentSpoiler:
[Image: signature%20The-Ascension-of-Iweko.jpg]
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#5

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Really.

In the Gospels, Jesus is recorded as saying ; Matthew 16:28 "Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom."

Didn't did he.

|Sorry to have to break the news to diverse christians; Jesus' failure to return made christianity simply another failed millennial movement. There have been dozens over the centuries, if not hundreds. Currently, in the peanut gallery of Christianity . (as opposed to the front row of Catholics, Episcopalians Lutherans ,Methodist ,etc ) We have the millennial sects such as the Seventh Day Adventists, and the froot loopiest of the lot, the JW's . Pentacostals are also pretty out there. These happy campers keep making a raft of predictions, usually based on a tortuous interpretation of The Book Of Revelations. IE the one book of the Bible which embarrasses mainstream Christianity . Being brought up devout catholic,. we just pretended the Book Of Revelations wasn't there.


My reference " New Heaven,New Earth" Kenhelm burridge.
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#6

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Jesus already came back and left again.  No one recognized him.   hobo
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#7

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
[quote="grympy" pid='150456' dateline='1569812616']
Really.

In the Gospels, Jesus is recorded as saying ; Matthew 16:28  "Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom."

Didn't did he.  

Sorry to have to break the news to diverse christians;  Jesus' failure to return  made christianity simply another failed millennial movement. There have been dozens over the centuries, if not hundreds.  Currently, in  the peanut gallery of Christianity . (as opposed to the front row of Catholics, Episcopalians Lutherans ,Methodist ,etc )  We have the millennial sects such as the  Seventh Day Adventists, and the froot loopiest of the lot, the JW's . Pentacostals are also pretty out there. These happy campers keep making a raft of predictions, usually  based on a tortuous interpretation  of The Book Of Revelations. IE the one book of the Bible which embarrasses mainstream Christianity . Being brought up devout catholic, we just pretended the Book Of Revelations wasn't there.


I read somewhere that  a definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result"


My reference " New Heaven,New Earth"  Kenhelm burridge.
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#8

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:05 AM)Alan V Wrote: Jesus already came back and left again.  No one recognized him.   hobo

He came to the US as an immigrant but is now he's  in a border detention center being treated like two cents worth of dog meat.
                                                         T4618
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#9

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Some say that he was already here couple of decades back:

[Image: pxiWGAhJbQnLELBGoyTIUqzrxoVzHmR4jBaxn_yB...b0a5fe0962]
The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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#10

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:05 AM)Alan V Wrote: Jesus already came back and left again.  No one recognized him.   hobo

 Yup. If was in the 1950's ,he would have been lobotomised. 

If the 60's, some  fascist gun freak would have shot him for being a long haired hippy *

Today, everyone except perhaps the  JW's would ignore him. Of course everyone with an IQ above ambient room temperature knows how credible THEY are.   Whistling
 


*film reference:  "Joe"  1970, starring Peter Boyle.  Yair, the long suffering father of  the infuriatingly gormless idiot Raymond  is actually a pretty good actor, or was once.  

Joe is a 1970 American drama film distributed by Cannon Films[3] and starring Peter Boyle, Dennis Patrick and Susan Sarandon in her film debut. The film was directed by John G. Avildsen.[4][5] 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_(1970_film)


(Susan Sarandon is  quite yummy. At least I thought so when I first saw the  film at about age 25)
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#11

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
[Image: 23093_1.jpg]
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#12

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Is it just me, or is the apocalypse happening more often these days ?
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#13

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 04:37 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote: Is it just me, or is the apocalypse happening more often these days ?

When times get hard, desperate people turn to religious hopes. They are are always wrong, but that never stops them.
I just believe in one less deity than most people.
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#14

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
This just all boils down to one thing: nothing keeps the dough rolling in like being the dispenser of special knowledge about the immediate future. It works on so many levels -- the mark feels special and privileged, in contrast likely to their everyday life; and they can be more easily separated from their money, which they won't be needing for long anyway.
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#15

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:05 AM)Alan V Wrote: Jesus already came back and left again.  No one recognized him.   hobo

Nobody wanted him. Most definitely not the "Christians".
  [Image: pirates.gif] Dog  
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#16

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:03 AM)grympy Wrote:  Being brought up devout catholic,. we just pretended the Book Of Revelations wasn't there. 

Same here and I attest to that. Reading the thing, and I know drugs, I can say that whoever wrote that must've had some good stuff.

Masses and cathechism were usually cherry picked and interpreted in the old sweetness of catholic guilt with promisses of going to god.
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#17

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
I've read that Revelations is a thinly veiled political diatribe.
  [Image: pirates.gif] Dog  
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#18

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Quote:
Jesus is returning in the next ten years

Can you ask him to pick up some milk on the way round?  Deadpan Coffee Drinker
"My fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say we must move forward, not backward! Upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!" - Bill Clinton
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#19

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
I can still recall being a first grade student in Catholic school when a nun told the class that the world was going to end in the year 2000. She claimed that she wasn't trying to scare us, but for weeks I lay crying in bed at night, "knowing" that the world was going to end in my lifetime. Isn't religion wonderful?  Dodgy
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#20

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 01:29 PM)Gwaithmir Wrote: I can still recall being a first grade student in Catholic school when a nun told the class that the world was going to end in the year 2000. She claimed that she wasn't trying to scare us, but for weeks I lay crying in bed at night, "knowing" that the world was going to end in my lifetime. Isn't religion wonderful?  Dodgy
More proof that you need to be good in this life, to a ridiculous degree evidently, to avoid burning in Hell forever.
  [Image: pirates.gif] Dog  
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#21

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
[Image: jesus-lawn-72jpg-41e4062738bf8f69.jpg]

Fully insured, jesus covering all the bases!
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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#22

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 01:29 PM)Gwaithmir Wrote: I can still recall being a first grade student in Catholic school when a nun told the class that the world was going to end in the year 2000. She claimed that she wasn't trying to scare us, but for weeks I lay crying in bed at night, "knowing" that the world was going to end in my lifetime. Isn't religion wonderful?  Dodgy

More than once I encountered the meta-issue that quite often grade school teachers seemed unaware or indifferent to how children less than ten years old have a terrible time separating fact from fantasy. My daughter had nightmares of an ugly little man creeping into her room at night and stealing her away from her family, based on a dramatic presentation of the Rumplestitskin fairy tale in the first grade. Whether it's Grimm's Fairy Tales or the Holy Bible, adults need to be really careful what they present to young children and how it will be received.
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#23

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:41 AM)grympy Wrote: (Susan Sarandon is  quite yummy. At least I thought so when I first saw the  film at about age 25)

She was, and still is in my view.

[Image: Screen-Shot-2019-09-30-at-10-59-47-AM.png]

[Image: Screen-Shot-2019-09-30-at-11-03-22-AM.png]
“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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#24

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:05 AM)Alan V Wrote: Jesus already came back and left again.  No one recognized him.   hobo

I read about that.  At some shopping mall with Elvis, right?
"Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's. 
F. D.
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#25

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 02:13 PM)brewerb Wrote: [Image: jesus-lawn-72jpg-41e4062738bf8f69.jpg]

Fully insured, jesus covering all the bases!

Having worked for State Farm for a while I can assure you that "Fully insured" has no legal standing in most states.
  [Image: pirates.gif] Dog  
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