How do you tell a colleague that they stink tactfully?

[c172]

"You stink tactfUlly".

[KingEric]

He's been very quiet today I think he might have got wind of what the meeting is about.
When I say that it'll all end in tears, I mean that it'll probably ruin our working relationship and that's no good to anyone.

[brewerb]

You could always put fox or deer urine on you shoe's as a demonstration of community.

[pattylt]

He's been very quiet today I think he might have got wind of what the meeting is about.
When I say that it'll all end in tears, I mean that it'll probably ruin our working relationship and that's no good to anyone.

Give it time.  His initial shame or humiliation will pass.  Just be normal around him.  He may not ever forget it (let’s hope that keeps him bathing) but time does heal all wounds.

[Fireball]

My youngest son works for a large company. If an employee comes to work and has unacceptable odor, they are sent home to rectify it.

[brewerb]

He's been very quiet today I think he might have got wind of what the meeting is about.
When I say that it'll all end in tears, I mean that it'll probably ruin our working relationship and that's no good to anyone.

Give it time.  His initial shame or humiliation will pass.  Just be normal around him.  He may not ever forget it (let’s hope that keeps him bathing) but time does heal all wounds.

Then again, he may realize his error/failing and be grateful someone opened his eyes. I wonder how fragile his ego is?

It would be hilarious if he has anosmia.

[Cavebear]

Slip him an anonymous note. Mention that you've known lots of people over the years with poor bathing habits, so it's nothing to be ashamed of, but it has to change as you've heard multiple complaints about it. Also mention armpits, feet, crotch and laundry. Also say they're a very valued member of the team.

If the shit hits the fan in any big way, just remember the old adage RE religion: "There's no polite way to tell somebody they've devoted their life to a delusion."

This seems like a good idea.  Also sign the note with another office worker's name.

Oh that's good. LOL!

[Cavebear]

Maybe the best and most useful thing to do is explain what the smell is. Most people don't actually know they have one. The cause isn't the important thing. Maybe it is too much garlic in their meals, maybe they don't dry-clean their suits often enough, maybe too much perfume, maybe they drink too much beer.

But at least tell them what it is. They are likely nose-blind to whatever odor they have and probably don't realize they have one. I had a friend who really liked garlic way too much. I had a carpool member who always smelled like raw chicken fat (never figured out that one out).

But sometimes, it is just a kindness to explain what the smell seems like. It will seem a bit cruel at the time, but it might improve their lives to know.

[jerry mcmasters]

He's been very quiet today I think he might have got wind of what the meeting is about.

Appropriate, considering it's his wind.

[Dexta]

If the man cared about not stinking, he'd be on the ball about staying fresh. He doesn't care about staying fresh, so won't care about it being brought up as a problem. He might amand his stinkiness, if he learns to care, or he might not, if he doesn't.

The only reason OP is worried is that he, himself, values not being stinky as being essential. Basically, your concern is rooted in projection. If your colleague cared about not being stinky, he wouldn't be stinky.

I'm kinda stunned it took me three posts to get here. I have...suffered...from stinkiness in the past...as a perpetrator. Maybe that's got something to do with it.

[Dexta]

Insider info: we Brits neglect our bodies frequently: bad teeth, BO etc. It's a thing. Without meaning to sound racist.

[KingEric]

He's had the meeting with HR and he's not talking to any of us.
We'll see what happens tomorrow, I'm hoping he gets whatever he wants to say off his chest and we can all move on.

[Kim]

Insider info: we Brits neglect our bodies frequently: bad teeth, BO etc. It's a thing. Without meaning to sound racist.

Ah ha, British! Of course, I smell the racism wafting off you, all the way to Kansas.  Not actually sure what that must mean, but it sounds peculiar & hilarious.  

Hey, at least the head of your government doesn't smell of diapers, armpits, ketchup, & makeup.    Or does he?  

[Kim]

He's had the meeting with HR and he's not talking to any of us.
We'll see what happens tomorrow, I'm hoping he gets whatever he wants to say off his chest and we can all move on.

Well, he's probably embarrassed.
But, if he raises the subject at all, just pop over & give him a pat on the back in a show of support. Maybe reassure him that it's not such a huge deal. When we're busy, sometimes little things can get left behind & will soon be forgotten.

[Vorpal]

How do you tell an online colleague you think they probably smell?

[Charladele]

Hopefully it is a body odor smell and can be rectified. I know that people who have ostomies can sometimes have leakage and that will create odors.

[KingEric]

It's definitely BO. His hair is greasy due to a lack of washing and he wears the same clothes for days on end.

[KingEric]

He's still not speaking to anyone, he's walking around with a bottom lip.
Normally he'd tell us about any jobs that he's not got around to or verbally pass on messages from other members of staff, he's not done any of that today he just left us a note on the desk.

[pattylt]

He's still not speaking to anyone, he's walking around with a bottom lip.
Normally he'd tell us about any jobs that he's not got around to or verbally pass on messages from other members of staff, he's not done any of that today he just left us a note on the desk.

Give him time.  Say hello at the start of the day.  Do any usual thing you do.  If you arrange breaks and usually ask when he plans on taking his, do that…in other words, whatever your normal interactions, continue them.  He may take a week or three….

Do let us know if he cleans up…inquiring minds and all that !

[KingEric]

Said hello to him this morning and he just nodded, he's still not communicating in the usual way.
Another member of the team asked him if he was ok and she just got a "yeah" and a nod.

I've not noticed a smell in the office this week but that could be due to him basically avoiding everyone, or maybe he's washed his clothes and arm pits.

[Antonio]

i'm still trying to figure out how to stink tactfully

[Fireball]

One can stink tactically, though. 

[Vorpal]

i'm still trying to figure out how to stink tactfully

Where cologne when attracted to your date, and garlic when you wish to break up.

[Antonio]

i'm still trying to figure out how to stink tactfully

Where cologne when attracted to your date, and garlic when you wish to break up.

I'd switch that aroung

loves me some garlic

[Charladele]

Did your coworker ever clean up his act? Inquiring (nosy) minds want to know.