Great Opening Line

[Cavebear]

For the book you'll never write...

"I woke up late for my 6 o'clock cocktail"...

[brewerb]

'Are you taking any prescription medication.'

That's the line CB, not a personal question.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I did actually write this opening my book: "I'd call this a memoir but it doesn't seem I remember a goddamned thing."

[Cavebear]

'Are you taking any prescription medication.'

That's the line CB, not a personal question.

[Inkubus]

'It was the day my grandmother exploded.'

The Crow Road. Iain Banks.

[SYZ]

"I’ve been scared to have sex with Stacy ever since I discovered her vagina was haunted."

  —Carlton Mellick III.

[jerry mcmasters]

"I’ve been scared to have sex with Stacy ever since I discovered her vagina was haunted."

  —Carlton Mellick III.

"Having discovered her vagina was haunted, I was pleased to find out her anus was ghost-free."

[Dānu]

"It was the best of times. No, scratch that. It was the worst of times. Well, okay, maybe it was both."

[SYZ]

"I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to."

   —Bill Bryson.

[Minimalist]

"Holy Fucking Shit.....What was THAT?"

[SYZ]

"I’m pretty much fucked. That’s my considered opinion. Fucked."

   —Andy Weir.

[Cavebear]

Actually, I meant opening lines that you imagine for a book you will never write. The apparently real ones have been interesting. But still, back to to self-created ones would be more interesting to me.

[SYZ]

Actually, I meant opening lines that you imagine for a book you will never write.  The apparently real ones have been interesting.  But still, back to to self-created ones would be more interesting to me.

OK.

   "The pressure was on. One 18650 in the supercar's battery was feeling the heat... uh oh".

[Inkubus]

"Looking at frank the world renowned piano tuner, one would never guess he strangled his mother on his sixth birthday."

[Cavebear]

THOSE are more like weird what I had in mind.

Like "On the first date, I knew we were going to be ex's soon".

Or "She hated the half-moon, it symbolized her were-indecision so she just half-howled".

[Paleophyte]

"The subject was uninteresting, a slightly grubbier than usual Caucasian male in his mid-forties. It was the mice in his beard that were the trouble. They'd requested asylum in exchange for what they knew. The State Department was going to be furious and Agriculture would pitch a fit."