Up walks three nice Mormons…

[pattylt]

Yesterday at the park where I like to watch the geese, eat lunch and browse forums, three nice young Mormons walked over to my car.  I saw them coming and when they said hello, I asked if they were going to tell me about Jesus because I’m an atheist.  It slowed them for a moment…

They winded up asking me more about why I’m an atheist than trying to tell me about LDS beliefs.  It was fun!  They mostly listened and didn’t even shy away when I asked if they really believed Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon through glasses made of stones or about Kolob.  Answer?  They consider Kolob to be metaphorical which I laughed and said, yeah, now but 100 years ago?  

They concluded with perhaps the reason they approached me today was gods way of reaching out to me.  Again, I laughed and said, no. You aren’t clawing to be god are you?  Oh, no.  So would I like a copy of the Book of Mormon?  No, thank you…I have one.  It’s written in king James English and I found it…not persuasive.  We then wished each other a nice day and said goodbye.

Are Mormons no longer going door to door?  I know the JWs don’t anymore.  No one’s come to my door in years to give me the good news.  And there were three!  I forgot to ask if one was in training.

Anyone know if their church is bleeding congregants like the rest of Christianity?  I’m not up to date on my Mormonism.  Anyway, I enjoyed the exchange and maybe I put a little atheism Holy Spirit into their heads! 

[Minimalist]

This comment is from the Salt Lake Tribune which is behind a pay wall and I'll be damned if I am giving those criminal cocksuckers a cent.

But they seem to confirm your suspicions.

In recent years, the global faith of 16.8 million has grown by less than 1% annually and, in fact, is shrinking in a number of regions. In the United States over the past two years, for instance, 21 states saw Latter-day Saint membership decline.Jan 4, 2023

I'd have to assume those are mainly "blue" states because mormon shit is tailor made for MAGAmorons.

[brewerb]

I get more of the nondemoninational fundamentalists that are starting up churches in their houses/strip malls. It's creepy when only the kids show up at the door.

[pattylt]

My sister in laws father was appointed as Post Master to Salt Lake City. He’s not Mormon. After two years he requested and was granted a transfer out of there. He told us stories of supervisors ignoring his directives but following what lower clerks told them to do…because those lower clerks were Elders in the church. He was exasperated at being ignored and a clerk having the power to direct the postal processes. He said he was never more frustrated at his job than when he was in SLC. Also, he was a Southern Baptist so he wasn’t real fond of Mormons to begin with.

My sister in law, an atheist, said she really didn’t feel sorry for her dad…the Baptists are just as bad. She hated Baptists from her childhood experiences of inappropriate sexual behavior of so many of them. It’s the number one reason she became an atheist.

[adey67]

Yesterday at the park where I like to watch the geese, eat lunch and browse forums, three nice young Mormons walked over to my car.  I saw them coming and when they said hello, I asked if they were going to tell me about Jesus because I’m an atheist.  It slowed them for a moment…

They winded up asking me more about why I’m an atheist than trying to tell me about LDS beliefs.  It was fun!  They mostly listened and didn’t even shy away when I asked if they really believed Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon through glasses made of stones or about Kolob.  Answer?  They consider Kolob to be metaphorical which I laughed and said, yeah, now but 100 years ago?  

They concluded with perhaps the reason they approached me today was gods way of reaching out to me.  Again, I laughed and said, no. You aren’t clawing to be god are you?  Oh, no.  So would I like a copy of the Book of Mormon?  No, thank you…I have one.  It’s written in king James English and I found it…not persuasive.  We then wished each other a nice day and said goodbye.

Are Mormons no longer going door to door?  I know the JWs don’t anymore.  No one’s come to my door in years to give me the good news.  And there were three!  I forgot to ask if one was in training.

Anyone know if their church is bleeding congregants like the rest of Christianity?  I’m not up to date on my Mormonism.  Anyway, I enjoyed the exchange and maybe I put a little atheism Holy Spirit into their heads! 

You're lucky, I had some JWs  come to my door a couple of weeks ago I just tell them that I require regular blood transfusions and besides I could never align myself with a religion that practiced shunning. I guarantee they won't be back after that. They did try to deny they practice shunning at which point I made it very clear that I knew different and didn't appreciate being gaslit. The JWs aren't really a religion it's a destructive cult.

[pattylt]

I used to get JWs but it’s been quite a few years now. The last pair of women that came started with “don’t you think the worlds getting worse?” No, no I don’t. I went into the advancement of science and medicine, better safety regulations in buildings and workplaces and rapid availability of information on the internet.

Oh, we don’t mean physically, we mean spiritually! That’s when I laughed at them. I explained I was atheist and spirituality is just our minds ability to experience awe and wonder…it doesn’t mean another level of supernatural reality. They were baffled. They left. I’ve never been visited since. I know they don’t go door to door anymore but I also wonder if I was put on a do not visit list. Btw, I put these two women’s educational level at about 9th grade (US). Most of my neighborhood is upper middle class and college educated. JWs don’t like college and prefer ignorance and Bible bullshit. Kind of a wrong mix for our neighborhood.

[Thethingaboutitis]

I worked with a JW a few years ago. He used to wear those massively baggy jeans from Japan. He was telling us all about his Italian girlfriend who he was going to marry later that year. He volunteered information about his sex life (or lack of it to be precise) ? He didn't believe in sex before marriage.

Anyhow there was a joke going around the workplace about him wearing the jeans to disguise his massive swollen balls. Childish I know but fairly amusing.

He left for Italy and got married and I haven't heard anything about him since.

[Dancefortwo]

When I first read this thread title I thought it was the beginning of a joke.  Like, "three Mormons walk into a bar.... or something like that.  I know Mormons don't drink alcohol though.

Reddit has an ex-mormon subforum for people who have left the Mormon church and boy, are these some really angry people. When they finally find out what a complete conman Joseph Smith was and it finally sinks in they are not....shall we say....very happy about being lied to.  It's funny to read some of  the comments over there.

[adey67]

I worked with a JW a few years ago. He used to wear those massively baggy jeans from Japan. He was telling us all about his Italian girlfriend who he was going to marry later that year. He volunteered information about his sex life (or lack of it to be precise) ? He didn't believe in sex before marriage.

Anyhow there was a joke going around the workplace about him wearing the jeans to disguise his massive swollen balls. Childish I know but fairly amusing.

He left for Italy and got married and I haven't heard anything about him since.

Probably had a haemorrhage following an accident and died of stupidity refusing a transfusion, those people are fucked in the head.
Btw are you prepared for storm babet? I'm really anxious the absolute last thing I need it to get flooded.

[Thethingaboutitis]

I worked with a JW a few years ago. He used to wear those massively baggy jeans from Japan. He was telling us all about his Italian girlfriend who he was going to marry later that year. He volunteered information about his sex life (or lack of it to be precise) ? He didn't believe in sex before marriage.

Anyhow there was a joke going around the workplace about him wearing the jeans to disguise his massive swollen balls. Childish I know but fairly amusing.

He left for Italy and got married and I haven't heard anything about him since.

Probably had a haemorrhage following an accident and died of stupidity refusing a transfusion, those people are fucked in the head.
Btw are you prepared for storm babet? I'm really anxious the absolute last thing I need it to get flooded.

Or his plums exploded. 

[Fireball]

Anyone seeking to eliminate JW coming to one's door need simply call the local kingdom hall and have their name "stricken from the rolls".    Yes, it requires an effort, but then they will avoid you. My mother did that, as she was a staunch Catholic. No reason an atheist can't do it.

[pattylt]

Anyone seeking to eliminate JW coming to one's door need simply call the local kingdom hall and have their name "stricken from the rolls".    Yes, it requires an effort, but then they will avoid you. My mother did that, as she was a staunch Catholic. No reason an atheist can't do it.

But…I want to talk to them.  I’m a nice old lady so the last thing they expect is I’m also an atheist.  I’m very polite and friendly with them.  I allow them to talk or ask questions.  I’m retired.  I don’t get a lot of entertainment opportunities. 

[pattylt]

The JW issues with transfusions was problematic in our hospital. Doctors would warn us when they had a JW surgery because if the patient started bleeding out in surgery or birth, the patient would occasional change their mind…or the family would. Doctors are not fond of letting a patient bleed out and die when a couple of units would save them…but, everyone acknowledged it was their choice. The problems that arose if they changed their mind is that we had to emergency release Oneg as they often refused to be typed and screened beforehand, so we had nothing waiting for them. A full cross match takes half an hour for type specific blood. Emergency Oneg takes nine minutes…still a long time for a bleeder.

I’m a firm believer that everyone has a right to make their own medical decisions. When it comes to kids, I feel a bit differently but, the parents have the right to kill their kid by blood loss so….

[AutisticWill]

... The JWs aren't really a religion it's a destructive cult.

Sooooooooo........ it is a religion.......

[AutisticWill]

...

I’m a firm believer that everyone has a right to make their own medical decisions.  When it comes to kids, I feel a bit differently but, the parents have the right to kill their kid by blood loss so….

NO, THEY DO GODDAMN NOT.

The chair for anyone who even tries to do that to a child -- doctor to if he lets the child die.

As for, 'but what about their other children, if the parents are executed?'

I'd be willing to give them to any other chiristian family [not jewish, they might mutilate the boys; not muslim, they might mutilate the girls]; it would be easier on the child's transition than being given to an atheist or Hindu or whatever, and society would be more willing to allow it. As for, 'What about risk of molestation?' they were already at risk of that, no matter what abrahamic religion/denomination they were in/end up in.

The CHAIR i tell you!

The Chair........

[SYZ]

State Supreme Courts in Australia can now legally
override JW parents' refusal for a blood transfusion
of their newborn or infant children.

As it should be the case.

[Minimalist]

Good.  Now watch, they'll stay from doctors completely.

[pattylt]

I’m really not sure how the law works in the US. I think the doctors and hospital lawyers need to get involved. ERs have a lot of latitude in treatment to save a life but I’m not sure how far that extends beyond the ER. We had JW patients needing surgery and wouldn’t agree to signing for blood transfusions. If there’s time, we would pull a unit from the patient for their own use but that’s rarely applicable when the surgery is for heart repairs or similar…they aren’t in any shape to donate a unit…and, if they bleed, one unit isn’t enough. Surgeons have refused surgery because of this. Patients dying on their table are never a good look even if the patient is the cause.

If there’s time, a court can intervene with children. If there isn’t, the parents are often charged with childhood cruelty because of their beliefs. I know some have gone to prison and some were found not guilty. While the child is the innocent in all of this and the parents do love their children, I think we have to be ok with letting their children die on occasion…at least it’s rare.

[SYZ]

[Minimalist]

Why did the Mormon cross the road?
To get to the other bride.


Did you hear about the Mormon cat with a speech impediment?
He had nine wives.


A Mormon was having an affair with a 15 year old girl who had lied about her age.
When he learned the truth he broke it off and over the next few weeks guilt set in and he confessed to his wife.
She screamed at him, “How could you cheat on me like that with an older woman!?!?!?”

[pattylt]

You know it’s a Mormon wedding when the bride is a virgin and the mothers pregnant.

[Minimalist]

Recently atop the new 60 story building being constructed in down town Salt lake City the following was overheard:


“Hey Mac, come over here to the edge with me; what’s your name?”

“I’m Ralph, who are you?”

“Well, Ralph, I’m Jeff, sent here by the prophet to bring good news, are you a member of the priesthood, Ralph?”

“Yea, sure, Melchizedek in fact, Why Jeff?”

“Well, Ralph, do you recall how Jesus walked on water? Well, the prophet has been given the keys to walk on air and extends it to all the priesthood. Here, watch this.”

Jeff steps off the ledge and walks out about ten feet and stands there in mid air.

“Wow!” says Ralph, “Do you mean I can do that?”

“Certainly”, replies Jeff, “Just make a leap of faith.”

Ralph takes a step from the ledge and plunges screaming to the pavement 60 floors below. Jeff walks back to the building and calls to another worker, “Hey, Mac, come over here.”

Meanwhile on the street a passerby notices the occasional rain of bodies and approaches an apparently unconcerned worker nearby,
“Say, didn’t you see several workers falling from above?”

“Oh yea, it’s just Superman screwing around with the Mormons again.”

[AutisticWill]

Help me refine this joke:

Three Mormons walk into a bar --

The first asks for anal-sex-on-the-beach

The second asks for a cosmopolitan

The third just asks for the nearest gay man

So the barmaid tells them:

"Sirs, this is a Wendy's..."

[adey67]

... The JWs aren't really a religion it's a destructive cult.

Sooooooooo........ it is a religion.......

Ha ha, yes you're right my friend.

[SYZ]

[I note that this was filmed as 4:3 but presented here as 16:9]