Tomorrow

[Thethingaboutitis]

Tomorrow I have to attend a christening at our local church. The child in question is my neice on my wife's side, she's five years old. My wife is going to be a god parent.
I obviously haven't been asked to take part in the proceedings. I'll do my usual thing, sit at the back counting the minutes.

My main contribution tomorrow is to go to the supermarket to pick up eight trays of pre made sandwiches for the buffet. I have my uses I suppose.

The after party is in a working men's club. I'll feel more at home there.

It's ages since I've been inside a church I wonder if they'll get the collection dish out?

[Dancefortwo]

You have all my sympathies.  What a terrible thing to endure.

Edit to add: I just wanted to add that it's really nice to have you on this forum. I like your posts.

[Thethingaboutitis]

You have all my sympathies.  What a terrible thing to endure.

Edit to add:  I just wanted to add that it's really nice to have you on this forum.  I like your posts.

Thank you very much. I'm sure I'll survive tomorrow, got some ear buds.

[Bucky Ball]

For your wife's sake, I would go.
Take the ear buds, but show up just to show you support for your wife and family
Baptism of an infant (obviously) is not the choice of an infant.
Just be very friendly and supportive. They can never hold that against you.
Catechumens in original Christianity were never infants.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/catechumen
Best of luck.

[Minimalist]

Remember to piss in the holy water.  It stops all its magic!

[Thethingaboutitis]

Remember to piss in the holy water.  It stops all its magic!

I wouldn't want the man in the robes to see my willy. He might get the wrong idea.

[pattylt]

I’ve never objected to attending a religious service for important events. I once declined participating in the ceremony and said it would be inappropriate for me to participate but I’d love to be there (which was true). While the mumbo jumbo doesn’t have any meaning to me, it does to some family and friends and I try to share in their joy at the occasion.

Being raised Jewish, most of these occasions were marriages or Bar/Bat Mitzvos. Being female, I’m not required to be at a Bris….I would really object to that, I think. I’ve come around on my feelings for circumcision…I had my son circumcised but would change that decision today. My son forgives me!

[Thethingaboutitis]

I'll let you know how I get on. I'm actually more interested in what Morrisons sandwiches are like. Eight platters for £70.
I'm thinking that I'll have to spread them out in the boot and on the back seat of my car. I don't want to get blamed for squashed sandwiches.

[Minimalist]

Remember to piss in the holy water.  It stops all its magic!

I wouldn't want the man in the robes to see my willy. He might get the wrong idea.

 Or the right idea in his opinion.

[Fireball]

I wouldn't want the man in the robes to see my willy. He might get the wrong idea.

 Or the right idea in his opinion.

Naw, it has hair around it(?), methinks that will be a turn-off.

[Dom]

I’ve never objected to attending a religious service for important events.  I once declined participating in the ceremony and said it would be inappropriate for me to participate but I’d love to be there (which was true).  While the mumbo jumbo doesn’t have any meaning to me, it does to some family and friends and I try to share in their joy at the occasion.

Being raised Jewish, most of these occasions were marriages or Bar/Bat Mitzvos.  Being female, I’m not required to be at a Bris….I would really object to that, I think. I’ve come around on my feelings for circumcision…I had my son circumcised but would change that decision today.  My son forgives me!

I was invited to a Bar Mitzva once. (I am not Jewish). It was interesting to me, not having seen any Jewish ceremonies before. Other than that I was mostly at weddings, one was between a Jew and a Catholic and they mixed up the customs a bit, that was kind of fun to watch. I just get bored by the catholic stuff I grew up with, other religions can be fun to watch.

[Dancefortwo]

I'll let you know how I get on. I'm actually more interested in what Morrisons sandwiches are like. Eight platters for £70.
I'm thinking that I'll have to spread them out in the boot and on the back seat of my car. I don't want to get blamed for squashed sandwiches.

Ahhh, you're British?  I donno, you haven't used the word "bloke" yet so I'm a little suspicious.    

[pattylt]

I’ve never objected to attending a religious service for important events.  I once declined participating in the ceremony and said it would be inappropriate for me to participate but I’d love to be there (which was true).  While the mumbo jumbo doesn’t have any meaning to me, it does to some family and friends and I try to share in their joy at the occasion.

Being raised Jewish, most of these occasions were marriages or Bar/Bat Mitzvos.  Being female, I’m not required to be at a Bris….I would really object to that, I think. I’ve come around on my feelings for circumcision…I had my son circumcised but would change that decision today.  My son forgives me!

I was invited to a Bar Mitzva once. (I am not Jewish). It was interesting to me, not having seen any Jewish ceremonies before. Other than that I was mostly at weddings, one was between a Jew and a Catholic and they mixed up the customs a bit, that was kind of fun to watch. I just get bored by the catholic stuff I grew up with, other religions can be fun to watch.

I had a Catholic friend when I lived in Florida and I went to Mass several times with her.  I was fascinated with them crossing themselves.  I also noticed some similarities with my Jewish services…especially as hers was in Latin and mine in Hebrew and we joked about neither of us understanding much.  I also liked the “smells and bells”.  I was a kid!  It was fun.

[Thethingaboutitis]

It all went ok. Orla the little girl who was christened had a small tantrum over some crayons but apart from that all good.

There were collection dishes near the door and a contactless card machine that the priest mentioned at least four times but unfortunately I had left my card in the car.

[WICharlie]

What a pretty name for a little girl.

I went to a Catholic funeral for a dear friend. It was interesting what with all the priests dressed to the hilt like kings. Biggest problem was when they walked up and down the aisle swinging the incense pots. With all my allergies, I nearly choked to death. What was the significance of that? Drumming up more business for the next funeral?

[Bucky Ball]

For your wife's sake, I would go.
Take the ear buds, but show up just to show you support for your wife and family
Baptism of an infant (obviously) is not the choice of an infant.
Just be very friendly and supportive. They can never hold that against you.
Catechumens in original Christianity were never infants.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/catechumen
Best of luck.

I forgot to mention, one of my grandpas was not a believer, and he married the absolute love of his life, a very devout Cathodic. They had a wonderful life, 6 children, many grand-kids and he basically respectfully ignored her religious stuff. Not sure I'd be up to that, but it worked for them.

[Thethingaboutitis]

Christenings are free of charge he said trying to make the congregation feel guilty.
From what I saw on the way out of church there was a fair amount of card tapping going on.

I had a look as I entered and there was a screen showing set amounts for 'donations' ranging from 5 to 50 pounds.

If all the people that I saw donated just a fiver then god made a reasonable amount today.

[Bucky Ball]

Christenings are free of charge he said trying to make the congregation feel guilty.
From what I saw on the way out of church there was a fair amount of card tapping going on.

I had a look as I entered and there was a screen showing set amounts for 'donations' ranging from 5 to 50 pounds.

If all the people that I saw donated just a fiver then god made a reasonable amount today.

I understand that.
The thing is, every one of them will eventually remember that, ... and eventually a tragedy befalls everyone, ... and each will remember it, and think, "what did I do wrong ?'. And feel the silence and absence. I embrace each of them, then. The problem remains even then. The gods are not the answer then to life's tragedies.

[Dancefortwo]

For your wife's sake, I would go.
Take the ear buds, but show up just to show you support for your wife and family
Baptism of an infant (obviously) is not the choice of an infant.
Just be very friendly and supportive. They can never hold that against you.
Catechumens in original Christianity were never infants.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/catechumen
Best of luck.

I forgot to mention, one of my grandpas was not a believer, and he married the absolute love of his life, a very devout Cathodic. They had a wonderful life, 6 children, many grand-kids and he basically respectfully ignored her religious stuff. Not sure I'd be up to that, but it worked for them.

My Canadian grandfather, "Hickery" Davis,  on my mother's side was a non believer.     He was a railroad man, an engineer for the Canadian National Railroad, and a really  tough guy both physically and mentally.   He was called "Hickery" because he drank a lot of whiskey. 

His second wife was a Catholic and he despised the Catholic church and didn't allow his wife to go to that church so she her second choice was the Episcopal Church....or Catholic Lite.  

Eventually they moved to Detroit.  So when my mother got married to her first husband, the day of her wedding she danced with her father and then he went off, as he frequently liked to do, to the local Burlesque theatre in Detroit to drink wiskey, smoke a cigar and watch half naked women dance around the stage. 

He proceeded to have a massive heart attack while in the audience and collapsed in his seat.  Everyone just thought he passed out drunk and stepped over him on their way out of the theatre.  

When he didn't come home that evening the search was on.  "What happened to Hickery?"   They looked everywhere but eventually my mother, the brand new bride,  not even a day old bride and was 18 at the time, decided to phone the mortuary and, voila, there he was! Dead as a doornail. 

The day after Hickery died my step-grandmother high tailed it down to the local Catholic church and went to mass.   

And here's the Detroit burlesque theatre he kicked the bucket in.   It was demolished back in the 1960's.

[Minimalist]

Christenings are free of charge he said trying to make the congregation feel guilty.
From what I saw on the way out of church there was a fair amount of card tapping going on.

I had a look as I entered and there was a screen showing set amounts for 'donations' ranging from 5 to 50 pounds.

If all the people that I saw donated just a fiver then god made a reasonable amount today.

[pattylt]

The incense is now used mostly because Catholics like the smells (incense) and bells (they sometimes ring bells at certain points).
@Cranky or @Minimalist do either of you know why the bells and smells started or what they mean? I don’t think I’ve ever asked a Catholic about that.

I assume Protestants got rid of that in a hurry. Does the Anglican Church still used them?

[Minimalist]

I don't think they are joined.  Incense far pre-dates jesusism and thus is merely one more thing stolen from older religions.  Fucking xhristards were famed for that.  


The bells have something to do with the transubstantiation bullshit story where when the pervert priest says the magic words the bread and wine becomes fucking jesus.  That story became common place in the 12th century or so.  I read somewhere once that the bells are meant to draw attention to the magic act allegedly going on!


Funny story about that.  When I was a union VP one of our stewards died suddenly and as he was catholick the family scheduled a whole fucking mass for the funeral.  I had to go but the President joined me and some of the others.  He was jewish.  He was also an atheist and apparently this shit was all new to him.  He kept asking me questions.  At one point came the bells and he leaned over and said "what's with the bells?"  I leaned back and said "Good Humor Man" a reference to a local ice cream company which used bells on its trucks.  He cracked up and I got a sharp elbow in my ribs from a female steward on the other side of me!

Fucking bells.

[Cranky]

The bells were/are used to mark the moment of consecration of the bread and wine.  The smells I'm not so sure.  One of the things I do miss from church is the smell of the incense.

You can say what you want about Catholics, but they do put on a good show!





And some pretty awesome costumes too (he looks grumpy because he got his panties in a knot):

[Minimalist]

Big dumbass in a big dumb hat,

[pattylt]

My thoughts are…people stank so much back then that the incense masked the human odors a bit?

I know incense was used in the temple times but I’m not sure if it ended when the temple was destroyed or some point later.

At Mass with my BFF…age 12? …the first time I heard the bells, I thought Tinkerbell was making an appearance.

Catholic robes astound me still. On the one hand, they are beautiful, on the other, so costly and ostentatious….and they dis drag queens. Hmmph.