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Free range parenting
#1

Free range parenting
Free-range parenting is the concept of raising children in the spirit of encouraging them to function independently and with limited parental supervision, in accordance with their age of development and with a reasonable acceptance of realistic personal risks. It is seen as the opposite of helicopter parenting. A notable text of the movement is Lenore Skenazy's book Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry

Free-range parenting - Wikipedia

Free-Range Kids

Fighting the belief that our children are in constant danger from creeps, kidnapping, germs, grades, flashers, frustration, failure, baby snatchers, bugs, bullies, men, sleepovers and/or the perils of a non-organic grape.

https://www.freerangekids.com/the-free-r...-of-rights


I think that the current helicopter parenting results in insecure, clueless kids. Both emotional and rational damage is done by not letting kids rely on themselves and doing things independently. Kids, needing stimulation, flee into social media for interactions that should be had during normal, daily activities. Kids are not required to think and make decisions, or to navigate in the world. No wonder we have more mental issues and suicides among kids, being watched 24/7 is bound to drive any human being to distraction.

Age-appropriate free range movement is no different today than it was when I was raised. When I was 3 or 4, I was allowed to play outside with neighbor's kids as long as I stayed within vision from mom's window. I understood that and there were no problems.

By the time I was 10 I was allowed to take buses and trams across a metropolitan city to go to the library or ice skating or whatever. 

I was confident and independent, paid attention to my surroundings, avoided some people and so forth. 

Kids today are raised in jail. When the parents aren't watching, they are locked in schools with drills of what to do when a killer shows up.

What kind of foundation for life is that?
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#2

Free range parenting
I kind of had a free-range youth. We'd hike all over the place, and we had mountains to climb. More like hills, really. Of course, we had our "drop drills" in the '60s because of the nuclear proliferation issues. We had no public transportation, as we lived in a tract of homes built fairly remote. It was about 6 miles to the nearest store, when we first moved there. Jewel Tea was a thing then, and bakery trucks.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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#3

Free range parenting
I was raised in a cardboard box under a bridge.
Mountain-high though the difficulties appear, terrible and gloomy though all things seem, they are but Mâyâ.
Fear not — it is banished. Crush it, and it vanishes. Stamp upon it, and it dies.


Vivekananda
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#4

Free range parenting
Of course, in the US, roughly a quarter of all children are raised in single-parent homes....and that parent is working.

In the African-American community, the percentage approaches 2/3.

Not exactly conducive to this idea.


And then there are the guns....and the drugs....
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#5

Free range parenting
(05-29-2023, 01:25 AM)Minimalist Wrote: Of course, in the US, roughly a quarter of all children are raised in single-parent homes....and that parent is working.

In the African-American community, the percentage approaches 2/3.

Not exactly conducive to this idea.


And then there are the guns....and the drugs....

I was raised free range style as were my kids.  My kids were raised in a small town however so I never had to let them ride the bus system as we didn’t have one.  They did go to the playgrounds on their own and walked to and from school.

It’s different now.  My grandkids are 18, 17 and 13.  The older two both rode the city buses at 16 but not earlier.  They didn’t have free range to go to the parks and playgrounds.  It really isn’t safe to do this and a lone child at a park could easily be picked up by child protective services if they are under 14 or so.  

I’d love to see our kids be able to have the freedom of movement that I had but it just isn’t the same world now.  It really is scary out there.  I agree that many parent go overboard with protecting their children.  There has to be some happy balance where the kids remain relatively safe yet aren’t helicoptered to death and I think each parent and child has to figure out what that balance is.
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#6

Free range parenting
I raised my son free-range. I was raised that way myself. I just taught him what I figured out when I was his age. Kids aren't stupid.
On hiatus.
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#7

Free range parenting
We rode the school bus or walked the mile or so to town. Mom knew where we were more or less, but there was a lot of autonomy.
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#8

Free range parenting
(05-28-2023, 05:49 PM)Dom Wrote: Free-range parenting is the concept of raising children in the spirit of encouraging them to function independently and with limited parental supervision, in accordance with their age of development and with a reasonable acceptance of realistic personal risks. It is seen as the opposite of helicopter parenting. A notable text of the movement is Lenore Skenazy's book Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry

Free-range parenting - Wikipedia

Free-Range Kids

Fighting the belief that our children are in constant danger from creeps, kidnapping, germs, grades, flashers, frustration, failure, baby snatchers, bugs, bullies, men, sleepovers and/or the perils of a non-organic grape.

https://www.freerangekids.com/the-free-r...-of-rights


I think that the current helicopter parenting results in insecure, clueless kids. Both emotional and rational damage is done by not letting kids rely on themselves and doing things independently. Kids, needing stimulation, flee into social media for interactions that should be had during normal, daily activities. Kids are not required to think and make decisions, or to navigate in the world. No wonder we have more mental issues and suicides among kids, being watched 24/7 is bound to drive any human being to distraction.

Age-appropriate free range movement is no different today than it was when I was raised. When I was 3 or 4, I was allowed to play outside with neighbor's kids as long as I stayed within vision from mom's window. I understood that and there were no problems.

By the time I was 10 I was allowed to take buses and trams across a metropolitan city to go to the library or ice skating or whatever. 

I was confident and independent, paid attention to my surroundings, avoided some people and so forth. 

Kids today are raised in jail. When the parents aren't watching, they are locked in schools with drills of what to do when a killer shows up.

What kind of foundation for life is that?

I hope I'm not repeating myself.  I never recall what I mentioned to an email friend, told a face-friend on the telephone, or posted here.

Me and the sibs were basically allowed outside all Summer days to do what we wanted and where, so long as we showed up for lunch and dinner.  And after that, we stayed out all night playing hide&seek and running around with sparklers.  We chased lightening bugs and caught them in jars.  If we fell down and scraped a knee, it got fixed (just as a routine part of childhood).  Strangers bought lemonade from our stand and that was OK.

As I got older (like 13) I wandered a mile away sometimes.  It wasn't considered dangerous.  Mom didn't worry about "crazy people" in the woods.  I used to bike 3 miles away to fish at a local pond with a friend.  One time Mom just casually asked me to bike to the grocery store (about 3 miles away and across a highway) for a few things.  I was always careful.

Because I had learned to be careful.  It didn't start at 13.  I had been learning to "not be stupid" from toddler age.  Mom wouldn't have sent me off if she had doubts.  And I wasn't special; my friends were all the same.  We became aware of our surroundings through experience from a young age.  

I expect that my and friends earlier experiences taught us to understand how to move around in our neighborhoods and deal with some problems in daily life.  Deal with nature, handle the animal world, play games, run free, explore...

When did things change?
Never try to catch a dropped kitchen knife!
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#9

Free range parenting
I was mostly a free-range kid myself. My parents are divorced, but they both live in fairly rural areas, 20-25 miles outside of Birmingham, AL. I started riding four wheelers and dirt bikes well before I was 10 (in the early to mid 90s). I was supervised at first, but by the time I was a teenager, I was riding everywhere by myself or with my younger brother. It was mostly just riding through the woods, but we did go to small convenience stores and gas stations. We also rode the bus to and from school. My mom & stepdad were self employed, so we typically had an hour or 2 at home completely unsupervised.

I think there's a good balance to find. My parents did the best they could with the situation they had. In an ideal world, more supervision might have been better. My little brother did have his first kid at 16. He & the mom got married first (yay child marriage laws?). They have 3 kids total now & seem happily married, so I guess they're the rare success story. I don't think a helicopter parent situation would have been a better alternative. I don't know. Life is complicated. I'm sure I would've taken a different approach than my parents if I had kids, but I don't know with certainty that it would be better in the end. I suspect helicopter parents had the same thought, but just took it too far. It doesn't help that so much of our country is built around amplifying fear now either.

I know I'm all over the place in this response, but it's an accurate reflection of my thoughts on the subject.
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#10

Free range parenting
Carlin - on the subject.


Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#11

Free range parenting
This video pretty much encapsulates my thoughts on this

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#12

Free range parenting
(05-31-2023, 07:32 PM)Aegon Wrote: This video pretty much encapsulates my thoughts on this


I like this. DeSantis will ban it, if he finds out about it.
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#13

Free range parenting
I was raised as what is called a latch key kid. As a first grader, I walked home from school with my sister who was in third grade. We got home, called our mother, who was at work, did our homework, had a snack and waited for her to come home. We were allowed to go out and play as long as our homework and chores were all done. Our neighborhood was relatively safe and my mom could call up the street to the neighbors house to check on us. Everyone helped raise everyone else's kids. That's just how it was back in the 70s and 80s.
      Christianity: 
God meddles in the affairs of humans in a small part the Earth for 1500 years, giving one tribal society rules to live by.
He stops all direct contact for the next 2,000 years, leaving us with a metaphorical set of instructions.
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#14

Free range parenting
Sounds like lazy parenting dressed up as a philosophy. Just be honest.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” -Carl Sagan.
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#15

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 02:13 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote: Sounds like lazy parenting dressed up as a philosophy. Just be honest.

Really? You think being watched and scheduled 24/7 produces independent, skeptical thinkers? Socially adept adults moving through life without anxiety? Really?
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#16

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 02:20 PM)Dom Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 02:13 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote: Sounds like lazy parenting dressed up as a philosophy. Just be honest.

Really? You think being watched and scheduled 24/7 produces independent, skeptical thinkers? Socially adept adults moving through life without anxiety? Really?

1. Never claimed that 2. False dichotomy.  Deadpan Coffee Drinker
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” -Carl Sagan.
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#17

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 02:45 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 02:20 PM)Dom Wrote: Really? You think being watched and scheduled 24/7 produces independent, skeptical thinkers? Socially adept adults moving through life without anxiety? Really?

1. Never claimed that 2. False dichotomy.  Deadpan Coffee Drinker

May I ask then how helicopter parenting is better than free range?
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#18

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 02:54 PM)Dom Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 02:45 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote: 1. Never claimed that 2. False dichotomy.  Deadpan Coffee Drinker

May I ask then how helicopter parenting is better than free range?

*Little Timmy finds gun and accidentally shoots sibling*

"It's not my fault, I'm a free range parent"
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” -Carl Sagan.
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#19

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 02:58 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 02:54 PM)Dom Wrote: May I ask then how helicopter parenting is better than free range?

*Little Timmy finds gun and accidentally shoots sibling*

"It's not my fault, I'm a free range parent"

Perhaps not leaving guns around would help that situation, rather than keeping your kid a prisoner?
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#20

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 03:09 PM)Dom Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 02:58 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote: *Little Timmy finds gun and accidentally shoots sibling*

"It's not my fault, I'm a free range parent"

Perhaps not leaving guns around would help that situation, rather than keeping your kid a prisoner?

"Hey Timmy, I dare you to jump off that cliff. Don't worry, you have superpowers!"
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” -Carl Sagan.
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#21

Free range parenting
I was raised as a free range kid but we didn't live in big cities.  We were raised in the mountains.  I think it's very different when living in cities.  Kids can get into pretty deep trouble today.  There's drugs everywhere, not just marijuana but deadly stuff like fentynal (or however it's spelled).   I sort of waffled between raising my kids free range and keeping a close watch on them.  I didn't buy them a cell phone until they were 15 and 16 which they complained bitterly about. But even after we got them cell phones I didn't check up on them too much.  I didn't track them like a lot of parents do. 

I encouraged my kids to bring their friends over to play D&D or video games and I really enjoyed their exuberance and sillyness which I think their friends liked about me.   That way their friends came over frequently.  It was a sneeky way of keeping my kids out of trouble but I truly did like having their friends visit.  I miss all that now.      Sadcryface
                                                         T4618
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#22

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 03:13 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 03:09 PM)Dom Wrote: Perhaps not leaving guns around would help that situation, rather than keeping your kid a prisoner?

"Hey Timmy, I dare you to jump off that cliff. Don't worry, you have superpowers!"

Seems like a bad example, if you even have friends at all you will at least have some time alone with them without parents present where someone will suggest something stupid.

I was raised by a helicopter parent and I still got up to some shennanigans.
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#23

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 03:13 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 03:09 PM)Dom Wrote: Perhaps not leaving guns around would help that situation, rather than keeping your kid a prisoner?

"Hey Timmy, I dare you to jump off that cliff. Don't worry, you have superpowers!"

How many kids were killed jumping off cliffs before helicoptering became a thing? We jumped off a garage roof into a big pile of leaves when I was 8. It was great fun.
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#24

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 03:22 PM)Aegon Wrote:
(06-01-2023, 03:13 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote: "Hey Timmy, I dare you to jump off that cliff. Don't worry, you have superpowers!"

Seems like a bad example, if you even have friends at all you will at least have some time alone with them without parents present where someone will suggest something stupid.

I was raised by a helicopter parent and I still got up to some shennanigans.

I know someone who had controlling parents and got very fucked up  I also know someone who had more laid back parents and ended up being sex trafficked when they were young.  The parent did nothing about it. Let's just say I'm not particularly biased towards either method.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” -Carl Sagan.
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#25

Free range parenting
(06-01-2023, 02:13 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote: Sounds like lazy parenting dressed up as a philosophy. Just be honest.

Sounds like a needy Z'er complaining about adults not being around.
On hiatus.
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