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Interesting Take on (End of) Life
#1

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I wasn't sure where to put this.  I settled on Philosophy since this forum rarely sees my shadow!

https://www.rawstory.com/tiredness-of-li...n-society/


Quote:Tiredness of life: the growing phenomenon in western society


Quote:I’ve interviewed many older people for research. Every so often, I’m struck by the sincerity with which some people feel that their life is completed. They seem tired of being alive.


If I did not have my dog rescue and the associations it causes with like-minded humans, I could see myself falling into this.
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#2

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 12:21 AM)Minimalist Wrote: I wasn't sure where to put this.  I settled on Philosophy since this forum rarely sees my shadow!

https://www.rawstory.com/tiredness-of-li...n-society/


Quote:Tiredness of life: the growing phenomenon in western society


Quote:I’ve interviewed many older people for research. Every so often, I’m struck by the sincerity with which some people feel that their life is completed. They seem tired of being alive.


If I did not have my dog rescue and the associations it causes with like-minded humans, I could see myself falling into this.

Yup, my dogs are the reason I want to be alive. And my parrots and aquariums. I think that you need loves and hobbies to keep things interesting. Other than those, I don't really have any reason to live. A lot of people die inside when they leave work behind, that was not really an issue for me, I like being retired. A lot of people see no purpose to their lives, and one knows that there won't be any big plans to strive for anymore. I am also lucky in that I have never been lonely, I don't know the feeling. Being introvert has it's advantages.
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#3

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I like being alive. I have my gardening, crocheting, children, stepchildren, grandchildren from one stepchild, my college education I'm focusing on right now, and the love of my life whom I followed to Iowa two years ago. 

My life is full. I wouldn't say that I'm happy 100% of the time but I'm happy most of the time. So, based on that, yes, I'm happy to be alive. Of course the hippy using a bong and the antidepressants help a lot too. 

I have few regrets because you can't do life over. You get what you get, mistakes and all. Life isn't meant to lived perfectly. It's meant to be messy so live it that way and accept what you get and make the best of it. For me, I could have parented my two kids so much better than what I did, but it is what it is. I can't go back and fix shit. I am closer now to my youngest daughter than I have ever been and I wouldn't change that for anything.
      Christianity: 
God meddles in the affairs of humans in a small part the Earth for 1500 years, giving one tribal society rules to live by.
He stops all direct contact for the next 2,000 years, leaving us with a metaphorical set of instructions.
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#4

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I'll take death when it comes, but I'm only a little bored, now and then. I have circulatory issues that limit my time standing, so I surf the net more than I should. A lot of people asked what the heck I would do when I retired. I had over two years of home repairs that were languishing, and then I did a refurbishing of my mother-in-law's house, to rent it out and help pay for her lodging in a board-and-care facility. I carve and work wood, and smith a bit of copper, though the last I haven't done in years. My wife laughs about her quilting friends complaining that their retired husbands follow them around like puppies, having focused on a career with no side interests. Now, I'm amused because she comes around and tells me excruciating details about her quilts, and even comes out to the garage to have me go look at quilts, interrupting my wood working!  hobo
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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#5

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 01:05 AM)Joods Wrote: I like being alive. I have my gardening, crocheting, children, stepchildren, grandchildren from one stepchild, my college education I'm focusing on right now, and the love of my life whom I followed to Iowa two years ago. 

My life is full. I wouldn't say that I'm happy 100% of the time but I'm happy most of the time. So, based on that, yes, I'm happy to be alive. Of course the hippy using a bong and the antidepressants help a lot too. 

I have few regrets because you can't do life over. You get what you get, mistakes and all. Life isn't meant to lived perfectly. It's meant to be messy so live it that way and accept what you get and make the best of it. For me, I could have parented my two kids so much better than what I did, but it is what it is. I can't go back and fix shit. I am closer now to my youngest daughter than I have ever been and I wouldn't change that for anything.

I think the article is about the elderly, he talks about an 88-year-old lady, ladies too old to walk sitting in wheelchairs and like that. People whose peers are long dead. 

I don't think that old age is a wonderful thing to strive for. I do think we get too old these days, we were always meant to die after we reached immobility and such. Much of it is due to the younger generations not wanting their moms to die, but not wanting to take care of them either, so the old get warehoused in institutions. There they are kept alive as long as possible, whether they like life or not. 

That sort of thing is thankfully still way ahead of you, but it doesn't hurt to think about it and plan for yourself.
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#6

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 01:29 AM)Fireball Wrote: I'll take death when it comes, but I'm only a little bored, now and then. I have circulatory issues that limit my time standing, so I surf the net more than I should. A lot of people asked what the heck I would do when I retired. I had over two years of home repairs that were languishing, and then I did a refurbishing of my mother-in-law's house, to rent it out and help pay for her lodging in a board-and-care facility. I carve and work wood, and smith a bit of copper, though the last I haven't done in years. My wife laughs about her quilting friends complaining that their retired husbands follow them around like puppies, having focused on a career with no side interests. Now, I'm amused because she comes around and tells me excruciating details about her quilts, and even comes out to the garage to have me go look at quilts, interrupting my wood working!  hobo

My dad was one of those husbands, he drove mom to distraction. Eventually he settled down to write a book he never finished.
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#7

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 01:31 AM)Dom Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 01:05 AM)Joods Wrote: I like being alive. I have my gardening, crocheting, children, stepchildren, grandchildren from one stepchild, my college education I'm focusing on right now, and the love of my life whom I followed to Iowa two years ago. 

My life is full. I wouldn't say that I'm happy 100% of the time but I'm happy most of the time. So, based on that, yes, I'm happy to be alive. Of course the hippy using a bong and the antidepressants help a lot too. 

I have few regrets because you can't do life over. You get what you get, mistakes and all. Life isn't meant to lived perfectly. It's meant to be messy so live it that way and accept what you get and make the best of it. For me, I could have parented my two kids so much better than what I did, but it is what it is. I can't go back and fix shit. I am closer now to my youngest daughter than I have ever been and I wouldn't change that for anything.

I think the article is about the elderly, he talks about an 88-year-old lady, ladies too old to walk sitting in wheelchairs and like that. People whose peers are long dead. 

I don't think that old age is a wonderful thing to strive for. I do think we get too old these days, we were always meant to die after we reached immobility and such. Much of it is due to the younger generations not wanting their moms to die, but not wanting to take care of them either, so the old get warehoused in institutions. There they are kept alive as long as possible, whether they like life or not. 

That sort of thing is thankfully still way ahead of you, but it doesn't hurt to think about it and plan for yourself.

Yeah, I'm not sure what I'd do. Like what plans do I make? I'm not even sure where to start. I don't own a house and I'm pretty sure my daughter isn't going to want all my crap when I die so what do I do with it all? I for sure wouldn't want to leave it all up to her to have to go through. I'm watching my better half's mother go through her mom's stuff now and her mom died five years ago. 

Most of the stuff has ended up in OUR garage. HTF that happened is beyond me, but it ain't staying there. I had that discussion with the other half. I told him that wasn't right that he snuck it all in there like that. No more stuff was coming over here period. I put my foot down and said he cannot have it all and that there were other family members that needed to come and divide up stuff and they needed to actually come and get it or it was going to other people and that we were no longer "holding onto" stuff for anyone else. It will be nice to purge my house of all this stuff once people see that I'm not playing. They need to come and get their shit.
      Christianity: 
God meddles in the affairs of humans in a small part the Earth for 1500 years, giving one tribal society rules to live by.
He stops all direct contact for the next 2,000 years, leaving us with a metaphorical set of instructions.
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#8

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I haven't gotten tired of life yet, and my various projects might take more time to complete than I have left.

So I suppose it depends on my health.
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#9

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 01:57 AM)Joods Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 01:31 AM)Dom Wrote: I think the article is about the elderly, he talks about an 88-year-old lady, ladies too old to walk sitting in wheelchairs and like that. People whose peers are long dead. 

I don't think that old age is a wonderful thing to strive for. I do think we get too old these days, we were always meant to die after we reached immobility and such. Much of it is due to the younger generations not wanting their moms to die, but not wanting to take care of them either, so the old get warehoused in institutions. There they are kept alive as long as possible, whether they like life or not. 

That sort of thing is thankfully still way ahead of you, but it doesn't hurt to think about it and plan for yourself.

Yeah, I'm not sure what I'd do. Like what plans do I make? I'm not even sure where to start. I don't own a house and I'm pretty sure my daughter isn't going to want all my crap when I die so what do I do with it all? I for sure wouldn't want to leave it all up to her to have to go through. I'm watching my better half's mother go through her mom's stuff now and her mom died five years ago. 

Most of the stuff has ended up in OUR garage. HTF that happened is beyond me, but it ain't staying there. I had that discussion with the other half. I told him that wasn't right that he snuck it all in there like that. No more stuff was coming over here period. I put my foot down and said he cannot have it all and that there were other family members that needed to come and divide up stuff and they needed to actually come and get it or it was going to other people and that we were no longer "holding onto" stuff for anyone else. It will be nice to purge my house of all this stuff once people see that I'm not playing. They need to come and get their shit.

It will become clearer to you as you get closer.

Sounds like your partner hasn't dealt with his grief properly yet.
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#10

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I think when the body is no longer willing that the tiredness sets in.
My mom was just passing time at the end, and her COPD ramped up and she went with it. She was gone in a week.
Under other circumstances she could have opted for an oxygen tank and who knows what else, but she truly leaned into the left hook that it dealt her.
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#11

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 02:08 AM)Dom Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 01:57 AM)Joods Wrote: Yeah, I'm not sure what I'd do. Like what plans do I make? I'm not even sure where to start. I don't own a house and I'm pretty sure my daughter isn't going to want all my crap when I die so what do I do with it all? I for sure wouldn't want to leave it all up to her to have to go through. I'm watching my better half's mother go through her mom's stuff now and her mom died five years ago. 

Most of the stuff has ended up in OUR garage. HTF that happened is beyond me, but it ain't staying there. I had that discussion with the other half. I told him that wasn't right that he snuck it all in there like that. No more stuff was coming over here period. I put my foot down and said he cannot have it all and that there were other family members that needed to come and divide up stuff and they needed to actually come and get it or it was going to other people and that we were no longer "holding onto" stuff for anyone else. It will be nice to purge my house of all this stuff once people see that I'm not playing. They need to come and get their shit.

It will become clearer to you as you get closer.

Sounds like your partner hasn't dealt with his grief properly yet.

I think he wants to keep everything. He can't do that and I told him that. When his father passed away a month ago, same thing. I said to him - you have brothers and sisters who want stuff too. You can't be greedy.
      Christianity: 
God meddles in the affairs of humans in a small part the Earth for 1500 years, giving one tribal society rules to live by.
He stops all direct contact for the next 2,000 years, leaving us with a metaphorical set of instructions.
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#12

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 02:13 AM)Joods Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 02:08 AM)Dom Wrote: It will become clearer to you as you get closer.

Sounds like your partner hasn't dealt with his grief properly yet.

I think he wants to keep everything. He can't do that and I told him that. When his father passed away a month ago, same thing. I said to him - you have brothers and sisters who want stuff too. You can't be greedy.

Yup, unfinished grief. Maybe he needs to spend a good amount of time down there with all the stuff and let the feelings wash over him. Grief has its own schedule, it can't be suppressed forever.
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#13

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
My bone disease has certainly accelerated my sense of tiredness. That's okay. I deal with each day as it treats me. I don't ask any favors, and while I'm a little more sour than, maybe, six or seven years ago, I still reckon that any day I can get out of bed under my own steam is a pretty good day right then and there.

I'll live until I die. I'll take each day for what it is, and Katy bar the goddamned door.
On hiatus.
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#14

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I still find life very interesting, but people can sure burn me out quickly. I like NASCAR (and other auto racing) and soccer on the TV. I like attending the ballet. I like voyages into town for necessities or just to peoplewatch. I like urban architecture. I like old movies and documentaries and certain types of music. I like messageboards like this one, beit about atheism, sports I like, political things I stand for, constructed languages and worlds, geographical locations important to me, etc, etc. I watched a YouTube of a man that was on the cusp of death from cancer. It was his last video. I fear that kind of pain/discomfort. I fear other deaths as well, even though death leads us all to a state we are unable to be aware of.

Having said all that, I am not a teenager anymore. I was born with health problems, and such issues only get worse with age. Metabolism crashes. Injuries happen. I'm sure at some point I'll know when my body has clocked out. My psyche will probably soon follow.

But for now, at 47 with spina bifida, obesity and hypertension, I'm glad to still find things interesting. Although I support assisted suicide and such, I just don't want to hurry into the unknown in the really, really off chance that I am wrong to be an atheist.
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#15

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 02:16 AM)Dom Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 02:13 AM)Joods Wrote: I think he wants to keep everything. He can't do that and I told him that. When his father passed away a month ago, same thing. I said to him - you have brothers and sisters who want stuff too. You can't be greedy.

Yup, unfinished grief. Maybe he needs to spend a good amount of time down there with all the stuff and let the feelings wash over him. Grief has its own schedule, it can't be suppressed forever.

I agree with you there. My own father passed away 27 years ago. I don't think I'll ever be over that one. I was very close with my dad. I miss him every single day.
      Christianity: 
God meddles in the affairs of humans in a small part the Earth for 1500 years, giving one tribal society rules to live by.
He stops all direct contact for the next 2,000 years, leaving us with a metaphorical set of instructions.
Reply
#16

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 05:05 PM)Joods Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 02:16 AM)Dom Wrote: Yup, unfinished grief. Maybe he needs to spend a good amount of time down there with all the stuff and let the feelings wash over him. Grief has its own schedule, it can't be suppressed forever.

I agree with you there. My own father passed away 27 years ago. I don't think I'll ever be over that one. I was very close with my dad. I miss him every single day.

Maybe a "show and tell" is a good idea, his siblings come over and everyone picks up an item and tells about their memories connected to it. They can have food and drink down there, and I bet it all ends with grief being expressed and everyone taking some stuff home...Definitely worth a shot.
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#17

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-16-2023, 05:45 PM)Dom Wrote:
(05-16-2023, 05:05 PM)Joods Wrote: I agree with you there. My own father passed away 27 years ago. I don't think I'll ever be over that one. I was very close with my dad. I miss him every single day.

Maybe a "show and tell" is a good idea, his siblings come over and everyone picks up an item and tells about their memories connected to it. They can have food and drink down there, and I bet it all ends with grief being expressed and everyone taking some stuff home...Definitely worth a shot.

I would love that. I'll pass it on and see what he thinks. Thanks for the suggestion Smile
      Christianity: 
God meddles in the affairs of humans in a small part the Earth for 1500 years, giving one tribal society rules to live by.
He stops all direct contact for the next 2,000 years, leaving us with a metaphorical set of instructions.
Reply
#18

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
I don't see anything wrong with an older person feeling that they've "lived their life." After all, isn't what they were trying to accomplish all those years? In the final analysis, I wanna say that "living a life" is a completable task.

What worries me is the "tired of being alive bit." It makes me think that some older folks have lost a sense of zest for being alive. I think we should make special efforts to honor the elderly and make them feel special... the way we do with children.

"The children are our future," people say. Well, "old people are our past." And even though neither group (kids or the elderly) is especially good at making contributions to society, they deserve our care and respect nonetheless.
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#19

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-17-2023, 01:04 AM)vulcanlogician Wrote: I don't see anything wrong with an older person feeling that they've "lived their life." After all, isn't what they were trying to accomplish all those years? In the final analysis, I wanna say that "living a life" is a completable task.

What worries me is the "tired of being alive bit." It makes me think that some older folks have lost a sense of zest for being alive. I think we should make special efforts to honor the elderly and make them feel special... the way we do with children.

"The children are our future," people say. Well, "old people are our past." And even though neither group (kids or the elderly) is especially good at making contributions to society, they deserve our care and respect nonetheless.

That's a take on a society that existed as little as 50 years ago. It used to be that 3 generations would live in one house, and the wisdom that the grandparents had accumulated could be inculcated into the grandchildren, generally by example. One of my friends who I worked with was from Taiwan. He said to me one time that there, a child is born a stranger and has to be "trained", for lack of a better word to be part of the family, whereas in western society, the child belonged but was "trained" to be an individual outside the family, and "fly the coop", on their 18th birthday. I think that this is a bit simplistic but does hold some truth. I blame television programming.  Tongue
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#20

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-17-2023, 01:04 AM)vulcanlogician Wrote: I don't see anything wrong with an older person feeling that they've "lived their life." After all, isn't what they were trying to accomplish all those years? In the final analysis, I wanna say that "living a life" is a completable task.

What worries me is the "tired of being alive bit." It makes me think that some older folks have lost a sense of zest for being alive. I think we should make special efforts to honor the elderly and make them feel special... the way we do with children.

"The children are our future," people say. Well, "old people are our past." And even though neither group (kids or the elderly) is especially good at making contributions to society, they deserve our care and respect nonetheless.

If I had not made things for myself that I look forward to enjoying the next day, I would be tired of being alive too. People forget that being old hurts - physically. And you know it will never get better, only worse. With that knowledge and nothing in particular to look forward to, life just becomes a burden. A burden you are bearing without a point to it. I totally get it, and I will face that day sometime, the day that is just not worth braving anymore. My life has been full of adventure and memorable moments. As long as my mind remains sharp, and I have love and companionship (my dogs), I can occupy my days in a way that make them worthwhile for me. When that is gone, so will I be.
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#21

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
The OP was clearly talking about elderly people who no longer feel useful or valued.

Teenagers get depressed and kill themselves all the time. 

They obviously have other issues.
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#22

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-17-2023, 01:35 AM)Minimalist Wrote: The OP was clearly talking about elderly people who no longer feel useful or valued.

Teenagers get depressed and kill themselves all the time. 

They obviously have other issues.

That is my issue with the article. It talks about psychological issues but leaves out the physical issues. They are always downplayed or totally negated; old folks are ridiculed for talking a lot about their health. Well, hell, if pain is what dominates your life, you need to talk about it, it helps some people. Young people seem to think old age is just a matter of living a protected life, all will be well and in an institution you will be happily cared for. And, for some that is true. Some people are happy being told what to do with every hour of their life. I dare say, most of us are definitely not ok with that. And we are not ok with pain that only worsens as time goes. So, a lot of folks stay home and brave it on their own. Until it becomes unbearable. Then you can choose hospice, death with dignity if available, take all the pills you saved over the years or use that old gun. We euthanize our beloved pets rather than let them suffer. But we won't show the same compassion towards our elderly?

Of course, life is sacred, and you can always give yourself in god's hands...
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#23

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
(05-17-2023, 02:03 AM)Dom Wrote:
(05-17-2023, 01:35 AM)Minimalist Wrote: The OP was clearly talking about elderly people who no longer feel useful or valued.

Teenagers get depressed and kill themselves all the time. 

They obviously have other issues.

That is my issue with the article. It talks about psychological issues but leaves out the physical issues. They are always downplayed or totally negated; old folks are ridiculed for talking a lot about their health. Well, hell, if pain is what dominates your life, you need to talk about it, it helps some people. Young people seem to think old age is just a matter of living a protected life, all will be well and in an institution you will be happily cared for. And, for some that is true. Some people are happy being told what to do with every hour of their life. I dare say, most of us are definitely not ok with that. And we are not ok with pain that only worsens as time goes. So, a lot of folks stay home and brave it on their own. Until it becomes unbearable. Then you can choose hospice, death with dignity if available, take all the pills you saved over the years or use that old gun. We euthanize our beloved pets rather than let them suffer. But we won't show the same compassion towards our elderly?

Of course, life is sacred, and you can always give yourself in god's hands...

I had an experience this morning. I dragged one of the green recycle bins about 40 feet out from the back yard, running into a bucket of stones that I didn't see. The barrel ran into them, not me. By the time I got past the gate that separates the front yard from the back yard, one of my sons was there to take it. I was woozy and had diminished vision, and felt like I was going to pass out. I'm going to go to the doctor and see what's going on. Hopefully it's the medication I'm taking.
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#24

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
On hiatus.
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#25

Interesting Take on (End of) Life
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