Another Day, Another Conspiracy Theory

[Phaedrus]

Conspiracy Theorists Think The Large Hadron Collider Transferred Us Into A Parallel Universe Yesterday
iflscience.com

On Tuesday, the world's largest particle accelerator was turned on once again. After three years of upgrades and maintenance, it immediately observed three exotic particles for the first time.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is now up and running, and breaking records for the highest energy particle collisions ever performed. It's all pretty exciting, with the teams involved searching for more information on the so-called "god particle" the Higgs Boson, and signs of dark matter.

But, of course, some conspiracy theorists out there have concerns that the collider will open a gateway to hell and/or a parallel dimension from which there is no return.

CERN has always been the subject of various conspiracy theories, from the creation of black holes to human sacrifices on the grounds. It appears that this year's conspiracy theorists have been watching a little too much Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, as the rumors this year have all centered around the opening of a portal to another dimension.

"Who has felt like a big shift is coming for awhile now??" one verified astrologer wrote on Twitter, in an example typical of the conspiracy theories. "Now on july 5th we are quite literally gonna be switching timelines, when cern is gonna turn on their machine thingy it’s opening a portal to go through also the unknown is coming in. Keep your positive vibes and energy up."

"I’ve looked into this," another added, look for 10x more mandela effects.. because back in 2012 they did a record voltage level that caused these mandela effects, whatever portal they’re opening, they shouldn’t."

As funny as it is to imagine that you're going to avoid being dragged into a parallel dimension created by the "machine thingy" by vibing, let's take the conspiracy theory seriously for a short moment.

Being generous, you could guess that the alternate dimension theories are based on the idea that the LHC could – in theory – detect evidence for extra dimensions.

"How could we test for extra dimensions? One option would be to find evidence of particles that can exist only if extra dimensions are real," CERN explains on their website.

"Theories that suggest extra dimensions predict that, in the same way as atoms have a low-energy ground state and excited high-energy states, there would be heavier versions of standard particles in other dimensions. These heavier versions of particles – called Kaluza-Klein states – would have exactly the same properties as standard particles (and so be visible to our detectors) but with a greater mass.

If CMS or ATLAS were to find a Z- or W-like particle (the Z and W bosons being carriers of the electroweak force) with a mass 100 times larger for instance, this might suggest the presence of extra dimensions. Such heavy particles can only be revealed at the high energies reached by the Large Hadron Collider (LHC)."

Another possibility is that the LHC could produce (extremely) temporary and (incredibly) miniature black holes. The appearance of these microscopic black holes could tell us about the existence of extra dimensions. However, they are not anything that will engulf the planet, and would collapse in on themselves in about 10-27 seconds.

"Speculations about microscopic black holes at the LHC refer to particles produced in the collisions of pairs of protons, each of which has an energy comparable to that of a mosquito in flight," CERN adds.

"Astronomical black holes are much heavier than anything that could be produced at the LHC."

So, how did conspiracy theorists react when the LHC was turned on and we did not switch dimensions, you ask? They changed the goalposts faster than a proton being hurled around a particle accelerator.

"A lot of people are discounting how serious the CERN Hadron Collider agenda truly is. It’s not like beings emerge from a portal and instantly kill everyone," one user wrote. "That’s not how Satanic rituals work. The ramifications of what happened yesterday will unfold in the coming months."

They had previously tweeted "in 8 hours the gates of ‘hell’ will be opened. The transdimensional reptilian beings are coming for you and your family. This is not a drill."

[Kim]

Still trying to think of a response to that lunacy.



I got nothing.

[mordant]

Conspiracy Theorists Think The Large Hadron Collider Transferred Us Into A Parallel Universe Yesterday
iflscience.com

On Tuesday, the world's largest particle accelerator was turned on once again. After three years of upgrades and maintenance, it immediately observed three exotic particles for the first time.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is now up and running, and breaking records for the highest energy particle collisions ever performed. It's all pretty exciting, with the teams involved searching for more information on the so-called "god particle" the Higgs Boson, and signs of dark matter.

But, of course, some conspiracy theorists out there have concerns that the collider will open a gateway to hell and/or a parallel dimension from which there is no return.

CERN has always been the subject of various conspiracy theories, from the creation of black holes to human sacrifices on the grounds. It appears that this year's conspiracy theorists have been watching a little too much Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, as the rumors this year have all centered around the opening of a portal to another dimension.

"Who has felt like a big shift is coming for awhile now??" one verified astrologer wrote on Twitter, in an example typical of the conspiracy theories. "Now on july 5th we are quite literally gonna be switching timelines, when cern is gonna turn on their machine thingy it’s opening a portal to go through also the unknown is coming in. Keep your positive vibes and energy up."

"I’ve looked into this," another added,  look for 10x more mandela effects.. because back in 2012 they did a record voltage level that caused these mandela effects, whatever portal they’re opening, they shouldn’t."

As funny as it is to imagine that you're going to avoid being dragged into a parallel dimension created by the "machine thingy" by vibing, let's take the conspiracy theory seriously for a short moment.

Being generous, you could guess that the alternate dimension theories are based on the idea that the LHC could – in theory – detect evidence for extra dimensions.

"How could we test for extra dimensions? One option would be to find evidence of particles that can exist only if extra dimensions are real," CERN explains on their website.

"Theories that suggest extra dimensions predict that, in the same way as atoms have a low-energy ground state and excited high-energy states, there would be heavier versions of standard particles in other dimensions. These heavier versions of particles – called Kaluza-Klein states – would have exactly the same properties as standard particles (and so be visible to our detectors) but with a greater mass.

If CMS or ATLAS were to find a Z- or W-like particle (the Z and W bosons being carriers of the electroweak force) with a mass 100 times larger for instance, this might suggest the presence of extra dimensions. Such heavy particles can only be revealed at the high energies reached by the Large Hadron Collider (LHC)."

Another possibility is that the LHC could produce (extremely) temporary and (incredibly) miniature black holes. The appearance of these microscopic black holes could tell us about the existence of extra dimensions. However, they are not anything that will engulf the planet, and would collapse in on themselves in about 10-27 seconds.

"Speculations about microscopic black holes at the LHC refer to particles produced in the collisions of pairs of protons, each of which has an energy comparable to that of a mosquito in flight," CERN adds.

"Astronomical black holes are much heavier than anything that could be produced at the LHC."

So, how did conspiracy theorists react when the LHC was turned on and we did not switch dimensions, you ask? They changed the goalposts faster than a proton being hurled around a particle accelerator.

"A lot of people are discounting how serious the CERN Hadron Collider agenda truly is. It’s not like beings emerge from a portal and instantly kill everyone," one user wrote. "That’s not how Satanic rituals work. The ramifications of what happened yesterday will unfold in the coming months."

They had previously tweeted "in 8 hours the gates of ‘hell’ will be opened. The transdimensional reptilian beings are coming for you and your family. This is not a drill."

I was able to detect and block a number of crackpots from my own Twitter timeline in the days leading up to this as they were warning about a portal being opened on July 5. Though they were saying it would be visible in the sky over Cern, which of course didn't end up happening. They were probably hoping for a coincidental thunderstorm or something. I agree with the article, these people are watching too much Dr. Strange.

[Scoop]

I just hope the hawking radiation conspiracy is true.
Every single time the event happens anyway.

[Minimalist]

The transdimensional reptilian beings

That's the first time I've heard Fuckface and his MAGAts called that!

[Paleophyte]

The trans-dimensional reptiles got one look at our news headlines and closed the portal from their side.

[GenesisNemesis]

Still waiting for the evidence that Hell exists.

[Dānu]

Still waiting for the evidence that Hell exists.

I'll PM you pictures of my apartment.