"The New Testament is better" -pet peeve

[Thumpalumpacus]

I notice those who claim the New Testament "is better" nonsense still cling onto the 10 Commandments and claim that gay men are going to burn in hell.

That's because their own "kinder, gentler" godling had this to say:

For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Jesus is apparently cool with all the OT bullshit ... all cherry-picking aside.

Don't forget the part where Jesus says to love him more than your family members or you're not worthy of him. Sounds like a grade-A dick to me.

Like most humans, he had some cool things to say, and some asshole things to say. Emphasis being on "like most humans".

[TheGentlemanBastard]

And they are only 1/3rd of the thing each. I wonder why they needed a holy ghost. 

Should Jesus only be counted as 1/3rd of a person then?

Yep, if you consider a ghost also a third of a person.

What does the ghost do anyway? What do they need him for? I don't remember hearing much about that.

God needed a son so he could have him killed. But the ghost?

I think he needed the Holey Casper so Mary could avoid an adultery charge. It doesn't count if a mystic spook did the deed.

[Finite Monkeys]

I skim not-read the replies so apologies if someone has already pointed out the obvious - 

Being the old testament the paper is stiff and rough and not suitable for twenty first century bottoms. Whereas the new testament is polished and shiny and simply smears the shite over a wider area with little hope of it ever being cleaned up properly and is therefore also not suitable for twenty first century bottoms.

[Dancefortwo]

I wonder (get it *wonder*     snort) if devotees of these religions know where Yahweh came from.

Even in Deuteronomy it says the Most High god ("El" ... who was not Yahweh), apportioned out the nations of the world to the gods, and he gave Israel to Yahweh. Yahweh was the 40th son of the god El, in Babylonian mythology. I'm not sure they always knew about the origins of Yahweh, but they sure have since the Royal Library at Ashurbanipal was discovered in the late 18th Century.

I also wonder if these devotees know that (it's even WRITTEN in the OT) Yahweh had a wife, (a consort), and archaeology has proven that, and found statues of her in many sacred spots. His Ashera. Isn't she wonderful. It's amusing to me that some of the chief debunkers of Hebrew scripture are Israeli archeologists. We know Abraham was a myth, there was no Exodus, there may have never been a unified kingdom, (BTW a modern democracy is in no way a reconstitution of an ancient kingdom that was, for a few thousand years, destroyed at the hand of Rome, wonderful as it is),  also after it was destroyed by the Babylonians and then reconstituted by the Emperor of Persia ... Artaxerxes. He was wonderful, but the history isn't so wonderful as they might think. All these wonders to behold and discuss.

Here she is, Mrs. Asherah Yahweh. 

[Dom]

I wonder (get it *wonder*     snort) if devotees of these religions know where Yahweh came from.

Even in Deuteronomy it says the Most High god ("El" ... who was not Yahweh), apportioned out the nations of the world to the gods, and he gave Israel to Yahweh. Yahweh was the 40th son of the god El, in Babylonian mythology. I'm not sure they always knew about the origins of Yahweh, but they sure have since the Royal Library at Ashurbanipal was discovered in the late 18th Century.

I also wonder if these devotees know that (it's even WRITTEN in the OT) Yahweh had a wife, (a consort), and archaeology has proven that, and found statues of her in many sacred spots. His Ashera. Isn't she wonderful. It's amusing to me that some of the chief debunkers of Hebrew scripture are Israeli archeologists. We know Abraham was a myth, there was no Exodus, there may have never been a unified kingdom, (BTW a modern democracy is in no way a reconstitution of an ancient kingdom that was, for a few thousand years, destroyed at the hand of Rome, wonderful as it is),  also after it was destroyed by the Babylonians and then reconstituted by the Emperor of Persia ... Artaxerxes. He was wonderful, but the history isn't so wonderful as they might think. All these wonders to behold and discuss.

Here she is, Mrs. Asherah Yahweh. 

No wonder he didn't know how to impregnate Mary......

[Dancefortwo]

This is something I came across a while ago that I'd like to post.  It's the story of "John" and "Katrina".  Please bear with the length.  I've edited it a little bit to keep it shorter.  The author of the piece tells this story.....

I want to tell you about a woman named Katrina. She’s cute, kind, intelligent, and has a successful career as the manager of a restaurant. Although she’s enjoyed the single life, she just turned thirty and is thinking about settling down. The problem is, she hasn’t found the right guy.


One day she was helping out the new bartender when a man named John sat down in front of her. He was gorgeous. She didn’t normally flirt with patrons, but it was hard to resist. He was funny, charming, and had a lot in common with her. At one point he hinted that he’d like to get her number, so before he left she grabbed his hand and wrote it down.

Thus began the best relationship she’d ever had. It was like they were made for each other. All those cliches about love, all those cheesy songs–they finally made sense. John was the most thoughtful and compassionate man she’d ever known. After only a few weeks, she felt certain he was the man she would marry.
One evening they had dinner at his house. When she finished eating, Katrina asked him where the bathroom was. “At the end of the hall,” he said. She headed down the hallway and found two doors directly across from each other. She tried the door on the right.

It opened with a creak. A small lamp by the door cast a dim, orange glow across the room. The first thing she noticed was the large, wooden table. It had thick leather straps attached to each corner. Next to it was a smaller table with an assortment of knives–some sharp, some jagged–and a hack saw. The hack saw had blood on it.

She took a few steps into the room. This couldn’t be what it looked like. It had to be some sort of workshop. And then she saw the Polaroids all over the wall. There were hundreds of them, pictures of women, women crying…

Katrina felt her breath getting fast and shallow. She started backing up, but then she bumped into something. It was John. She pushed him away and screamed.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s the matter?” he said, getting his footing. He spoke with a gentle tone and didn’t seem at all concerned that she had found this room.

Katrina blinked. “What do you mean ‘what’s the matter’?” she yelled. “What is this?”

“Oh, this is just my torture chamber. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

She didn’t know how to respond, didn’t even know what to think. She rushed past him, terrified he would grab her if she didn’t leave right away.

“What’s wrong?” he said as she ran down the hall.

Once there was some distance between them, she stopped and looked back. “You’re a monster!”

“No, you don’t understand. I had to build this room. It’s only for women who reject me.”

Katrina stared at him. She couldn’t believe he was being so flippant about all this. “I’m leaving.” She headed toward the front door.

“Katrina, wait. Don’t go!” She pulled open the door, but stopped when he said, “I love you!”

Tears filled her eyes. They hadn’t said this to each other yet. She turned around and stood in the doorway. “You what?”

He stood there, looking as though he were on the verge of tears himself. “I love you and I would never hurt you. Katrina, I want to marry you. I want us to share our lives together. If you’ll just give me a chance, I’ll make you the happiest woman in the world. And you’ll never have to go in that room again.” 

“And if I leave?”

His face turned dark and his voice grew cold. “I love you, but I’m a very jealous man. If you leave, I’ll have no choice but to capture you and torture you… Forever.”

After this the author goes on to write.......

Now I have a question for you: Should Katrina stay with him? Most of you would probably say, “Of course not!” But hang on a second. What if she knew for a fact that if she stayed with him, she would go on to live a happy, wonderful life?


And I’m talking 100% certainty. What if it were a fact of nature that as long as she stays with John, she’ll have the kind of life she’s always hoped for and will never see the torture chamber again?

Still no? I don’t blame you. See, it doesn’t matter that she’ll be safe and happy as long as she stays with him. The fact that he would torture her for leaving is a deal breaker. Why? Because a relationship predicated on the threat of violence is not a healthy relationship.

Although Christianity fits the dictionary definition of religion perfectly, Christians still like to say, “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship.” Okay, but what kind of relationship?

I’ve known Christian women who refer to themselves as the bride of Christ (it’s usually the single ones who do this). But what kind of husband sets his wife on fire for leaving him? Not a good one.

Most Christians think of God as a father figure. But what kind of father tortures his children for running away? Again, not a good one. A truly loving father would rather let his children go than torture them.
If you’re a Christian, you might say these analogies don’t work because they’re about human relationships, and God isn’t human; he’s a god. But I don’t see how that makes it any better. What kind of god throws his people into a lake of fire for not loving him back? I’ll tell you: an evil god.

Here's the entire article.  https://southernskeptic.com/christianity...n-threats/

[GenesisNemesis]

I wonder (get it *wonder*     snort) if devotees of these religions know where Yahweh came from.

Even in Deuteronomy it says the Most High god ("El" ... who was not Yahweh), apportioned out the nations of the world to the gods, and he gave Israel to Yahweh. Yahweh was the 40th son of the god El, in Babylonian mythology. I'm not sure they always knew about the origins of Yahweh, but they sure have since the Royal Library at Ashurbanipal was discovered in the late 18th Century.

I also wonder if these devotees know that (it's even WRITTEN in the OT) Yahweh had a wife, (a consort), and archaeology has proven that, and found statues of her in many sacred spots. His Ashera. Isn't she wonderful. It's amusing to me that some of the chief debunkers of Hebrew scripture are Israeli archeologists. We know Abraham was a myth, there was no Exodus, there may have never been a unified kingdom, (BTW a modern democracy is in no way a reconstitution of an ancient kingdom that was, for a few thousand years, destroyed at the hand of Rome, wonderful as it is),  also after it was destroyed by the Babylonians and then reconstituted by the Emperor of Persia ... Artaxerxes. He was wonderful, but the history isn't so wonderful as they might think. All these wonders to behold and discuss.

Here she is, Mrs. Asherah Yahweh. 

Oh my. 

[mordant]

And they are only 1/3rd of the thing each. I wonder why they needed a holy ghost. 

Should Jesus only be counted as 1/3rd of a person then?

Yep, if you consider a ghost also a third of a person.

What does the ghost do anyway? What do they need him for? I don't remember hearing much about that.

God needed a son so he could have him killed. But the ghost?

"Ghost" was an Elizabetha English term from the King James translation, which we would now use the word "Spirit" for, hence "Holy Spirit".

An alisas used was "The Comforter". It is supposed to be the aspect of god that provides insight, understanding, and guidance, the component of the trinity that is supposed to be daily present with believers, helping them do the Right Thing ™.

It ends up that people's own inner voice is confused with this. If a person is reasonably mentally healthy, god gets the credit for the person's own intuition and good sense. If not, then the Holy Spirit becomes the voice of their inner demons, their violated conscience, or their self-loathing.

Either way, you deprive the believer of agency and have a fulcrum to influence them.

[Szuchow]

Yep, if you consider a ghost also a third of a person.

What does the ghost do anyway? What do they need him for? I don't remember hearing much about that.

God needed a son so he could have him killed. But the ghost?

Ghost was needed to impregnate Mary.

Zeus turned himself into a swan to bang Leda.  Zeus was way cooler than this yahweh putz.

Being cooler than yahu-wahu is a low bar to clear.

[Dānu]

[Cheerful Charlie]

See the horrors of the apocalyptic events to precede the second coming of Jesus. Mark 13, Luke 20, Matthew 24. God is still the same as Yahweh of the OT. Murderous, savage and brutal.

Matthew 24
16 Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:
17 Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:
18 Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.
19 And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!
20 But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:
21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.

[Dancefortwo]

The New Testament god is even worse than the the OT god.  Someone on RationalWiki calculated the deaths that are to happen in the Battle of Armageddon.  It comes from this passage in Revelations 14:18-20

"The angel swung his sickle on the earth, gathered its grapes and threw them into the great winepress of God's wrath. They were trampled in the winepress outside the city, and blood flowed out of the press, rising as high as the horses' bridles for a distance of 1,600 stadia."

So here's how it was calculated on RationalWiki.

 Let's assume that 1,600 stadia (320 kilometres = 320,000 metres) is the diameter of the lake of blood, therefore, the radius is 800 stadia or 160km. Let's also assume that a horse's bridle is approximately 1.5 metres from the ground, giving us its depth.
We can then calculate the volume of blood using the formula: V = πr2h. Using biblical value of π = 3 we get the formula:

3 × 160,000 × 160,000 × 1.5 = 115,200,000,000 = 1.152×1011 cubic metres of blood.

1 cubic metre = 1,000 litres
115,200,000,000 × 1,000 = 115,200,000,000,000 = 1.152×1014 litres of blood
If we divide this number by the average amount of blood in a human body, 5.5 litres:

115,200,000,000,000 ÷ 5.5 = 20,945,454,545,500

So we find that according to scripture, at a bare minimum according to one interpretation, God will kill approximately 20,945,454,545,500 people. That's in the trillions.
However, since it says flows and not pools, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that a river was formed. Assuming they measured the blood-flow using actual horses, and a horse is 1 metre across.

320,000 × 1 × 1.5 = 480,000 cubic metres of blood.

480,000 × 1,000 = 480,000,000
480,000,000 ÷ 5.5 = 87,272,727
So, in another interpretation, God will kill a minimum of 87,272,727 people to produce a horse bridle-high blood-flow.

The New Testament is "better" indeed!

[Minimalist]

See what happens when math types have too much time on their hands during quarantine.


Meanwhile, figures that this happened in "xtian" school district.

https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/educat...9eb4409021

'I'm angry and I'm hurt' | Social media post shows 5 teachers holding up racial slur

It started as a game of human Scrabble. The photo shows faculty from the Christian School District rearranging letters to form the word "coons"

But this parent nailed it.

"It's a blanket statement, it's the same thing, we always have to forgive them for their transgressions because they don't know how to handle racial issues," said one parent.

[Dancefortwo]

See what happens when math types have too much time on their hands during quarantine.


Meanwhile, figures that this happened in "xtian" school district.

https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/educat...9eb4409021

'I'm angry and I'm hurt' | Social media post shows 5 teachers holding up racial slur

It started as a game of human Scrabble. The photo shows faculty from the Christian School District rearranging letters to form the word "coons"

But this parent nailed it.

"It's a blanket statement, it's the same thing, we always have to forgive them for their transgressions because they don't know how to handle racial issues," said one parent.

RationalWiki is a fun website.  I like how they gave the benefit of the doubt to the New Testament god and calculated  the blood in a river form and not as one big pool of blood.  So the number went down from almost 21 trillion dead people that god will kill to only 87 million dead.  We wouldn't want to over estimate the death numbers in the NT account now, would we.   

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Examples_o...ing_people

[Brian Shanahan]

It hardly could be worse considering that main character of OT is genocidal tyrant.

But Jesus and his Father are supposedly one and the same. 

And they are only 1/3rd of the thing each. I wonder why they needed a holy ghost. 

Wingman.  It'd look strange a father and a son going cruising together.

[TheGentlemanBastard]

But Jesus and his Father are supposedly one and the same. 

And they are only 1/3rd of the thing each. I wonder why they needed a holy ghost. 

Wingman.  It'd look strange a father and a son going cruising together.

Holey Casper couldn't be the wingman. He's the one that got the nookie. Or, maybe Daddy Gee couldn't get it up so the mystic spook took advantage and sealed the deal?

[Minimalist]