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Introspective Reflections
#51

Introspective Reflections
(02-12-2021, 01:49 PM)Dom Wrote:
(02-12-2021, 12:53 PM)Phaedrus Wrote: So why is it that in television shows, mainly depicting small towns, there's the one elderly person with obvious dementia who gets to terrorize the town instead of being in a nursing home?

Because these shows are about me! Wild horses can't drag me into a nursing home.

I'd rather die on the side of the road in the gutter than be put in a nursing home.  I'd rather live in my own place even if it's unsanitary and disgusting and I can't remember my own name than live in a hyper steralized nursing home where you watch other people slowly die and wait for death yourself.  It's slow torture.
                                                         T4618
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#52

Introspective Reflections
(02-14-2021, 02:34 AM)Dancefortwo Wrote:
(02-12-2021, 01:49 PM)Dom Wrote:
(02-12-2021, 12:53 PM)Phaedrus Wrote: So why is it that in television shows, mainly depicting small towns, there's the one elderly person with obvious dementia who gets to terrorize the town instead of being in a nursing home?

Because these shows are about me! Wild horses can't drag me into a nursing home.

I'd rather die on the side of the road in the gutter than be put in a nursing home.  I'd rather live in my own place even if it's unsanitary and disgusting and I can't remember my own name than live in a hyper steralized nursing home where you watch other people slowly die and wait for death yourself.  It's slow torture.

I've told Mrs Ankle that if I ever get to the point of being a burden, she can push me off a cliff.
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#53

Introspective Reflections
Dear Diary,

Girlfriend, I get it, you were hangry. As you noticed, I was being adult with your dramatic meltdown. Don't forget that, because I can be a cold bitch when I want to be.

Sincerely, not rude at work.
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#54

Introspective Reflections
Trying my hand at writing a Young Adult novel.
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#55

Introspective Reflections
A rough draft of the first chapter I started writing last night:

Show ContentSpoiler:
[Image: 8a487e2d72e959c458857f1b72271166.gif]
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#56

Introspective Reflections
(02-17-2021, 02:10 PM)Phaedrus Wrote: A rough draft of the first chapter I started writing last night:

Show ContentSpoiler:

Not too bad for a rough draft.
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#57

Introspective Reflections
(02-12-2021, 11:53 AM)Phaedrus Wrote:
(02-12-2021, 11:27 AM)Gwaithmir Wrote: Oh, gosh! I remember when my cousin was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. She was doing that for real.  Sadcryface

Well, if I ever get cancer, I hope it's too far advanced by the time it gets detected so that nothing can be realistically done about it.

I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in November, 2008. I underwent a prostatectomy via Da Vinci Robotic surgery the following February. This was followed by six weeks' radiation therapy. I've been cancer free since then, although I still undergo periodic cancer screenings.
“I expect to pass this way but once; any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” (Etienne De Grellet)
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#58

Introspective Reflections
Chapter One complete:

Show ContentSpoiler:

Uncertain of a book title for now, except that after the main title I might add The Moon Chronicles. *shrugs* We'll see.
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#59

Introspective Reflections
So three or four days ago I went for a walk in the snow around the neighborhood.  The snow was over a foot deep in some areas and it was very difficult to tell if I was on the sidewalk or the grassy strip between the road and the sidewalk or even if I was walking on the road itself.  There were lots of snowdrifts.  

So I'm walking along and took a step and sank almost four feet into the snow into a big hole.  I brused the inside of my leg from the knee down.  I got myself out of the hole in the snow but there was so much snow I couldn't tell why there was such a drop in the ground.  The snow has since melted and I went back to find where I had fallen through.  Turns out it was a Verizon fiber optics juncture and it looked like over a dozen different wires were connected to other wires.   Our electricity didn't go out during the storm because so many of our electrical wiring is underground.   The green plastic Verizon protective lid had cracked and when I stepped on it I fell right through.   I don't know how dangerous this was or whether I might have fried myself to death but I'm going to phone Verizon and tell them about it.  Seems very dangerous to me.
                                                         T4618
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#60

Introspective Reflections
(02-19-2021, 12:52 PM)Phaedrus Wrote: Chapter One complete...

...Uncertain of a book title for now, except that after the main title I might add The Moon Chronicles. *shrugs* We'll see.

I like this.  I actually like it more than your earlier sci-fi piece here.      Thumbs Up

This is a particularly evocative scene-setter:  "October Valley, aptly named due
to the breathtaking beauty of the area during the autumn months. That season
had passed, along with the majesty of the winter snows, and the town was laid
bare in its transitional ugliness
."

That last phrase is perfect.
I'm a creationist;   I believe that man created God.
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#61

Introspective Reflections
Ordered a new necklace. Should be getting it soon.

Show ContentSpoiler:
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#62

Introspective Reflections
(02-21-2021, 05:38 AM)Phaedrus Wrote: Ordered a new necklace. Should be getting it soon.

Nice! Celtic spiral?
I'm a creationist;   I believe that man created God.
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#63

Introspective Reflections
Had already written chapter two, but then I deleted it. I'm thinking of doing some editing on chapter one before I continue with chapter two.
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#64

Introspective Reflections
Tried, but I couldn't find anything to edit in chapter one. Therefore, I wrote half of chapter two last night.

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I had planned on fluctuating between first and third person from one chapter to the another, but I decided to just keep it first person in its entirety. Third person perspective really confuses me anyway.
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#65

Introspective Reflections
Over the years I've been becoming more and more laid back, in terms of not caring much about what my personal accomplishments might be. I still care about politics though of course and I still enjoy learning about various subjects. It's just less to do with ego "look how great I am!", and more to do with  plain curiosity. It probably has to do with having had a few reminders of the fragility or finality of life, so I no longer care about certain things as much anymore. Some people might argue that should make me more concerned about "productivity", but I think each person should approach this in their own way and not be pressured by others towards "productivity". It's also hard enough just to be human or to accept all of the terrible things human beings are capable of, so I don't blame anyone for "not being productive". People should be given as much time as they need to work things out.
God is confined only to those parts of the universe we do not know about, and that keeps shrinking. 
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#66

Introspective Reflections
(02-23-2021, 12:54 PM)Phaedrus Wrote: Tried, but I couldn't find anything to edit in chapter one. Therefore, I wrote half of chapter two last night.

Show ContentSpoiler:

I had planned on fluctuating between first and third person from one chapter to the another, but I decided to just keep it first person in its entirety. Third person perspective really confuses me anyway.

I don't know if you're familiar with the American writer, Damon Runyon, who came out of the Depression era with all sorts of oddball New York City street characters in his stories,  but he almost always wrote in present tense and I'm pretty sure many of his stories are first person, present tense.    It was a strange way of writing.  Guys and Dolls is a musical based on one of his short stories.   His stories are out of fashion these days because some of them have racist connotation. One Black character is called Stove Lid but then he calls another, rather ugly person Harry the Horse so in Runyan's world everyone had equal billing.  

A British humorist E. C. Bentley wrote. 

Quote:‘In all the Runyon stories, as published in America, I have found only one single instance of a verb in the past tense. 

Whenever I think about writing in different tenses I think about Damon Runyon.
                                                         T4618
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#67

Introspective Reflections
Ahhh...

This morning's news made my day.  "Elon Musk loses $19 billion after bitcoin and Tesla shares plunge".

            PartyBalloons
I'm a creationist;   I believe that man created God.
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#68

Introspective Reflections
When you read a good crime book or watch a truly diabolical crime show, you think to yourself, "Wow, what kind of mind could create this?"

I think the same thing. I don't consider myself innocent by an standard, but I could never create a truly evil character. You know the character you want to hate so much. I've tried, trust me, but there's something in me that prevents it. I can write what I write, but I cannot write evil.

Okay, with that out of the way, let me settle down and attempt to finish chapter two before I go to sleep.
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#69

Introspective Reflections
Chapter two done. Let me know what you think.

The second half:

Show ContentSpoiler:

And now it's time for bed.
[Image: 8a487e2d72e959c458857f1b72271166.gif]
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#70

Introspective Reflections
Hey Phaedrus...

I really like the effort you're obviously putting into your writing, and I also appreciate that
you're posting it here for us to have a look-see.  I've never published anything in my life,
and I couldn't write decent fiction if you paid me 10 dollars a word, but I have been a voracious
reader for six decades.  Please don't think I'm just trying to be being picky.      Sun    

A couple of things you need to avoid are the overuse of the personal pronoun, and also adding
"padding" that doesn't move the story along EGs:

"I reached into my pocket with my left hand and pulled out my phone. It was cracked, broken, and pushing the side button did nothing to activate it. Apparently, I had destroyed it when I fell down."

How about this...

"Reaching into my pocket for my phone, I found it was dead, apparently destroyed by my fall."  

"The last person to make an appearance was the androgynous individual from chemistry class. I had no name to put to the person, and I still could not discern a gender. As I had said to myself before, it did not matter."

Maybe...

"Last in the doorway was the chemistry class oddity, who, according to Florence, was named Easton."

The other thing is that these kids seem all too calm and rational—considering that nearly everybody
in their school's just been vapourised.

"Had gravity been free to do what it does best, the ashes would be spread over the floor instead of
in neat little mounds.
"  and  "There's definitely something not right with the ashy mounds. But what's
right about everyone suddenly becoming dust?
"

Where's the terrified screaming, their horrified responses, the sheer panic, the tears, the desperation
and utter chaos?  These kids are talking about this so dispassionately—almost as though they're discussing
a science experiment back in that chemistry classroom.  In this horrendous, potentially life threatening
scenario are they really gonna be standing around, calmly discussing the geometry of the ashy cones?

And this...

"I did not see a boy there in Easton, but one's gender was not a pressing issue. At any given time, actually, but especially not when the world was on the verge of ending or had already ended."

Possibly unnecessary as it stands.  Why even talk about Easton's confusing gender—a third time?  And how do
you—as the protagonist—surmise that the world was about to end, or had ended?  To me, neither were obvious.

I hope this is helpful mate.      Nod
I'm a creationist;   I believe that man created God.
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#71

Introspective Reflections
(02-24-2021, 01:01 AM)SYZ Wrote: Ahhh...

This morning's news made my day.  "Elon Musk loses $19 billion after bitcoin and Tesla shares plunge".

            PartyBalloons

But, did he even notice? That may be a metric shit-ton of money to you and me, but isn't it just a rounding error to him?
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#72

Introspective Reflections
From thirty to fifty-five words with the forum contest piece. Taking my time with this, because I want it to be just right. Generally, I can write about five hundred words a night, when I have a muse lending its help to me, but with this piece I really just want to take it slowly.

So much conscientious editing going on.

After major focus on editing, 55 words went to 57 words.
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#73

Introspective Reflections
My boyfriend must think the trash will grow legs and walk itself down to the dumpster.
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#74

Introspective Reflections
Fifty-five to one-hundred and fifty-one words.

Now it's time to lay down and get ready to sleep.
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