Stupid things the religious say

[Unsapien]

A guy on twitter a day or two ago said that when you masturbate you're actually having sex with demons and impregnating them and making more demons.

[mordant]

A guy on twitter a day or two ago said that when you masturbate you're actually having sex with demons and impregnating them and making more demons.

Sounds like he has quite the fantasy life.

[grympy]

A guy on twitter a day or two ago said that when you masturbate you're actually having sex with demons and impregnating them and making more demons.

 Really.I didn't know that. Good thing I wasn't aware at 14.   

The priests didn't say anything stupid about masturbation, such as "you'll go blind" . Indeedly doodly not, they only said it's a mortal sin and if you haven't confessed you're going straight to hell . Perfectly reasonable and compassionate.

At 16 I found this book "The Psychology Of Sex" by Havelock Ellis. (1859-1939) . He said  it's the abnormal boys who DON'T masturbate. He said it's impossible to masturbate too much . Now THAT was a big relief. 

Havelock Ellis was a bit like the curate's egg. He also claimed homosexuality  is a perversion , and explained how it can be cured.   As this was 1963 that sounded about right to me ,as a 16 year old chronically catholic schoolboy .  This was at the time when homosexual acts were  illegal and 'poofter bashing' was a national sport. 


As John Spong says, Churches are in the guilt and control business.

[Phaedrus]

christian author: atheists are pompous prigs & loud and nasty, unapologetic and in your face

[grympy]

christian author: atheists are pompous prigs & loud and nasty, unapologetic and in your face

 My irony metre just broke. 

[brunumb]

 My irony metre just broke.

A metre?  Perhaps your irony was stretched too far.  

[Logisch]

I still get, "We wish you would go to church and at least try it again." once in a while from my parents.  Never ends.

[Gwaithmir]

I still get, "We wish you would go to church and at least try it again." once in a while from my parents.  Never ends.

I used to get the same from my parents for a while after I came out as an atheist in 1985. Ironically, now whenever a family member has a question about religion, they come to me for answers, knowing that as an autodidact I have extensive knowledge on religions as well as a private library with 500+ books on religion.

[NorthernBen]

'Evolution is just a theory.'

'Noah only took the baby animals.'

'There are no contradictions in the bible.'

'Islam is a religion of peace.'

'People lived a lot longer back then.'

'Come to church on Sunday, you might enjoy it.'

[Phaedrus]

Pastor claims he has seen aborted fetuses hug Jesus in heaven

[GenesisNemesis]

Pastor claims he has seen aborted fetuses hug Jesus in heaven

That was probably caused by his rampant drug use if anything.

[Gwaithmir]

When I was in grade school (third grade I think), we had a discussion on Christ's resurrection. The nun who taught religion remarked that non-believers tried to dismiss the Resurrection, claiming that the Apostles had merely stolen Jesus' body from the tomb under cover of darkness. "This was impossible," she continued, "because one of Pilate's soldiers guarding the tomb had a gun." 

[NorthernBen]

 "because one of Pilate's soldiers guarding the tomb had a gun." 

LOL

[grympy]

 "because one of Pilate's soldiers guarding the tomb had a gun." 

LOL

A clear indication that the nun was Irish  

[Gawdzilla Sama]

NRA Nazareth donated the guns to keep our Saviour safe while he was dead.

[TristanJ]

My mother not to bash her, she was brought up poorly and what can you do? 
But she told me that there is science behind god, and explained something I don't remember. 
And I said no mom that's called "Phesudo science" it's fake, there is no actual proof behind it, only wishing internally she'd understand but of course not. 
The conversation moved on. 
Also had my relative try to tell me that ken hams ark was really going to float. 
And I told her they only built half of it (this is before the rest got turned into a building) 
And she went completely silent. Then i got some kinda "God" answer as if he's gonna help. Watching people do this to themselves is understandable, cause it's scary. But it's also sad.

[TristanJ]

My mother not to bash her, she was brought up poorly and what can you do? 
But she told me that there is science behind god, and explained something I don't remember. 
And I said no mom that's called "Phesudo science" it's fake, there is no actual proof behind it, only wishing internally she'd understand but of course not. 
The conversation moved on. 
Also had my relative try to tell me that ken hams ark was really going to float. 
And I told her they only built half of it (this is before the rest got turned into a building) 
And she went completely silent. Then I got some kinda "God" answer as if he's gonna help. Watching people do this to themselves is understandable, cause it's scary. But it's also sad.

[NorthernBen]

'It's better to believe and be wrong, than not to believe and be wrong.'

'I have a personal relationship with him.'

'You're taking it out of context.'

'We can't observe evolution.'

'Were you there?'

[Fireball]

'It's better to believe and be wrong, than not to believe and be wrong.'

'I have a personal relationship with him.'

'You're taking it out of context.'

'We can't observe evolution.'

'Were you there?'

Bolding Mine. They weren't there, either.

[Dānu]

'It's better to believe and be wrong, than not to believe and be wrong.'

'I have a personal relationship with him.'

'You're taking it out of context.'

'We can't observe evolution.'

'Were you there?'

Bolding Mine. They weren't there, either.

[Dancefortwo]

"The gospels were written by eyewitnesses. "

Yeah, sure they were...sure they were. 

[mordant]

'It's better to believe and be wrong, than not to believe and be wrong.'

'I have a personal relationship with him.'

'You're taking it out of context.'

'We can't observe evolution.'

'Were you there?'

Bolding Mine. They weren't there, either.

Lol -- that was my thought exactly. I've never been asked "were you there?". But I'm itching to be, because I want to ask, "Were YOU?"

[Dancefortwo]

'It's better to believe and be wrong, than not to believe and be wrong.'

'I have a personal relationship with him.'

'You're taking it out of context.'

'We can't observe evolution.'

'Were you there?'

Bolding Mine. They weren't there, either.

Lol -- that was my thought exactly. I've never been asked "were you there?". But I'm itching to be, because I want to ask, "Were YOU?"

I used to debate stupid Christians online but I stopped because I got so damned pissed at their willful ignorance. A couple of times I did use that argument (were you there?)  but  they dismissed it out of hand and circled around to "the gospel writers witnessed it and that's good enough for me."  So then I'd go down the rabbit hole of explaining that the gospels weren't eyewitness accounts, etc.  and then we'd go back and forth on the that subject forever.  The whole thing was exhausting but I hope people on the fence regarding Christianity were reading the conversation and maybe questioned some of the Bible's farfetched, silly claims.   Yeah,   .

[Dancefortwo]

 My irony metre just broke.

A metre?  Perhaps your irony was stretched too far.  

Don't laugh at us bad spellers.  Lay off or I'll come at you with a wip.    

[NorthernBen]

 My irony metre just broke.

A metre?  Perhaps your irony was stretched too far.  

Don't laugh at us bad spellers.  Lay off or I'll come at you with a wip.    

Promises promises lol.