Favorite Deep Quotes

[grympy]

"The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature." (Alfred North Whitehead) 

Not quite; I've also read the Q'uran and some of  the Indian sacred writings.  Can't remember finding anything funny in any of them either. 

Strange.  Considering Jesus' upbringing and backgrounds of his apostles, I've always  thought they would have had an earthy sense of humour. They would have spent many nights outdoors, probably huddled  around a fire, feeling tired and bored . I reckon  Jesus  would have enjoyed hearing  and telling fart jokes.

There is theological evidence  which supports this view;  Christians claim Jesus was wholly man and wholly god . If wholly man, he should have had a sense  of humour, surely.      

I have noticed that  proselytising Christians tend to be a dour bunch. No wonder when one considers their book of instructions.

[Phaedrus]

[Cavebear]

"The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature." (Alfred North Whitehead) 

Not quite; I've also read the Q'uran and some of  the Indian sacred writings.  Can't remember finding anything funny in any of them either. 

Strange.  Considering Jesus' upbringing and backgrounds of his apostles, I've always  thought they would have had an earthy sense of humour. They would have spent many nights outdoors, probably huddled  around a fire, feeling tired and bored . I reckon  Jesus  would have enjoyed hearing  and telling fart jokes.

There is theological evidence  which supports this view;  Christians claim Jesus was wholly man and wholly god . If wholly man, he should have had a sense  of humour, surely.      

I have noticed that  proselytising Christians tend to be a dour bunch. No wonder when one considers their book of instructions.

Jesus:  "This is my blood you drink; this is my body you eat".

Apostles:

LOL!

Found this one and improved it:

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, Jesus granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." Jesus snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and Jesus did the same thing. This went on and on throughout the group. Jesus noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time Jesus got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish I was the only live handsome person on the bus."

[Phaedrus]

[Fireball]

If only...

[grympy]

If only...

Yeah, when I was a gossoon,  if I tried to stare down an arsehole, he (or she) would punch me in the stomach and wind me. .


Hate to break  this to you, but  full of fortune cookie bullshit  Yoda is.

[Cheerful Charlie]

An Englishman who was wrecked on a strange shore and
wandering along the coast . . . came to a gallows
with a victim hanging on it, and fell down on his
knees and thanked God that he at last beheld a sign
of civilization.

--James A. Garfield (1831-1881)
(House of Representatives speech, June 15, 1870)

[Gwaithmir]

“Play hard, work hard, love hard….the bottom of life for me is to live life to the fullest in the here-and-now instead of a hoped-for hereafter, and make every day count in some meaningful way and do something──no matter how small it is──to make the world a better place.” (Michael Shermer) 

[Phaedrus]

Reality is just an agreed upon illusion

[Gwaithmir]

"If you will not hear reason, she will surely rap your knuckles. Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. Love, a cough, and a smoke, can't well be hid. Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other." (Benjamin Franklin) 

[Phaedrus]

Being healthy is just dying more slowly.

[Thumpalumpacus]

"'Freedom' is just another word / for 'nothin' else to lose'."

Meh, those goddamned apostrophes.

[Phaedrus]

Women are better than men, and they never stop trying to bring men up to their standard.

[Gwaithmir]

Women are better than men, and they never stop trying to bring men up to their standard.

Who said that? 

[Phaedrus]

Women are better than men, and they never stop trying to bring men up to their standard.

Who said that? 

Ricky Gervais in the second season of After Life.

[Gwaithmir]

 "I look around the world and see so many wonderful things that I love and enjoy and benefit from, whether it’s art or music or clothing or food and all the rest. And I’d like to add a little to that goodness." (Daniel Dennett, philosopher and cognitive scientist)

[Dānu]

“If you don’t have a seat at the table, then you’re on the menu.”
~ Shirley Webber

[Phaedrus]

[Cavebear]

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered". Voltaire

I was well-mannered enough, but not stupid enough. I contended with with the gods of the office.

[Dānu]

[Gwaithmir]

"A lie can circle the globe before the truth can even put on its shoes." (Mark Twain) 

[Inkubus]

If you trust in yourself ... and believe in your dreams ... and follow your star ... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things.

Terry Pratchett.

[Critic]

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want toto far, go together."

[Gwaithmir]

"Gratitude preserves old friendships and procures new." (American Proverb)