The failed creation

[Dom]

Now, why would anyone create creatures that all have to eat and poop? If I were the creator of life, I would surely eliminate that. That would do away with the totally useless appendix too.

Having to eat is the origin of killing other beings. Competition for food is the origin of people killing each other.

Look where that got us!

What would you have done differently?

[Unsapien]

I'm not sure what the alternative to eating and pooping would be even if we got some energy from the sun by being all green we'd have to supplement it with other nutrients some other way. I guess we could be carrion eaters only eating things after they've died.

As for people killing people, I guess if I was the creator of the universe I'd come down in person every few years and tell people directly that harming other people is a big no no and I'd punish anyone directly (not eternally after they're dead) equal to the nature of their crime.

It's not like I'd be doing anything important other then fixing the occasional football game

[Minimalist]

Now, why would anyone create creatures that all have to eat and poop?

God loves shit?

[Dom]

I'm not sure what the alternative to eating and pooping would be even if we got some energy from the sun by being all green we'd have to supplement it with other nutrients some other way. I guess we could be carrion eaters only eating things after they've died.

As for people killing people, I guess if I was the creator of the universe I'd come down in person every few years and tell people directly that harming other people is a big no no and I'd punish anyone directly (not eternally after they're dead) equal to the nature of their crime.

It's not like I'd be doing anything important other then fixing the occasional football game

If you were the all knowing creator and controlled everything, you could create what you wanted and not worry about energy sources and whatnot. Yoiu just make it so that these things are not needed in the first place.

You are creating from scratch. Everything is possible because you are so great and allpowerful.

[TheGentlemanBastard]

It is theoretically possible, through gene splicing, to give humans the ability to meet all their energy needs through photosynthesis. If we poor mortals can find a way, even if theoretical, to do so, it would have been trivially easy for an omniscient, omnipotent being to create us that way.

As to what I would have done differently, first and foremost, I would not have put a playground in the middle of the waste treatment facility! I would also give my creations complete control over their reproductive processes and would have prohibited any and all harmful viruses and bacteria. All sex would be safe sex.

Most importantly, I wouldn't play millennia long games of hide and seek with them!

[Ausländer]

This goes in the direction of the old joke "God must be an engineer, since when it created the woman placed the amusement park beside the sewage system"

[M.Linoge]

Separate orifices for breathing, eating, excereeting and procreation. 
I would give women retractable teeth inside the last one. Have fun, rapists.   (assuming I don't simply get rid of all evil) And make birth less painful/lethal.

I would make the digestive system total; there would be nothing we couldn't break down and the excess energy would be stored in a way that doesn't negatively impact our health. 
Tendons and bones wouldn't deteriorate. No arthritis or back-pain or hip replacements. 

Wisdom teeth, gone. If we lose any other teeth, they grow back. Appendix, gone.  Pinkie toe, gone. 

For starters.

[Dānu]

The simple answer for why we eat is that there was nothing imperfect about it until the fall of man. I don't find that a satisfactory answer, but that's the standard one. I have an answer for why we defecate, but I want to figure out a better answer to why we eat so I can deliver the total package.

[Little Lunch]

This goes in the direction of the old joke "God must be an engineer, since when it created the woman placed the amusement park beside the sewage system"

All I can see is an amusement park beside an amusement park.
Women are so wonderful. :-)

[Szuchow]

If power corrupts then I guess absolute power corrupts absolutely. So being creator I would also be a dick. Being dickish creator I doubt that I would much care about comfort of my creation, shit and giggles would be far more probable design philosophy.

[Dom]

So if no one had to eat, there would be no hunting. The focus of the procreation of life would have to go, among all creatures, it would not be necessary except to balance deaths from old age. 

I would make sex purely pleasurable recreation, and not part of procreation. Procreation would have to happen some other way. Just imagine all the unwanted kids not being born into dismal living situations, and how that would affect general mental health.

[Dancefortwo]

The human body is fine.  It's evolved to be as functional as possible in our envrionment. 

 What I would do if I were creating the universe is dispense with the creation of cancer, malaria, bubonic plague, flesh eating bacteria, worms that eat the eyes of children blinding them or killing them, smallpox, cholera, encephalitis and a whole host of other awful diseases.  Malaria has killed more people in recorded history than any other disease.  It's probably well over a billion people. Even today 400,000 people die of malaria every year and many of them are children.     Scientists have found malaria cells preserved in amber that are 30 million years old.  No telling what havoc malaria wreaked prior to recorded history. 

So that's what I'd do, eliminate all that shit.

[Dom]

The human body is fine.  It's evolved to be as functional as possible in our envrionment. 

 What I would do if I were creating the universe is dispense with the creation of cancer, malaria, bubonic plague, flesh eating bacteria, worms that eat the eyes of children blinding them or killing them, smallpox, cholera, encephalitis and a whole host of other awful diseases.  Malaria has killed more people in recorded history than any other disease.  It's probably well over a billion people. Even today 400,000 people die of malaria every year and many of them are children.     Scientists have found malaria cells preserved in amber that are 30 million years old.  No telling what havoc malaria wreaked prior to recorded history. 

So that's what I'd do, eliminate all that shit.

That would leave the issue of procreation also.

[Deesse23]

This goes in the direction of the old joke "God must be an engineer, since when it created the woman placed the amusement park beside the sewage system"

Being an engineer, i am offended by all these stereotypes about our profession!

Here is a link that will certainly do away with all those falsehoods and minsconceptions: https://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2003/...r_Test.htm

[brewerb]

Now, why would anyone create creatures that all have to eat and poop? If I were the creator of life, I would surely eliminate that. That would do away with the totally useless appendix too.

Having to eat is the origin of killing other beings. Competition for food is the origin of people killing each other.

Look where that got us!

What would you have done differently?

What? You don't derive pleasure from eating and pooping? It's the stuff of life.

You eliminate to much and all you end up with is rocks. No thanks. I'll take the appendix with all it's accompanying baggage. And the possible necessity of taking life also.

[Dancefortwo]

The human body is fine.  It's evolved to be as functional as possible in our envrionment. 

 What I would do if I were creating the universe is dispense with the creation of cancer, malaria, bubonic plague, flesh eating bacteria, worms that eat the eyes of children blinding them or killing them, smallpox, cholera, encephalitis and a whole host of other awful diseases.  Malaria has killed more people in recorded history than any other disease.  It's probably well over a billion people. Even today 400,000 people die of malaria every year and many of them are children.     Scientists have found malaria cells preserved in amber that are 30 million years old.  No telling what havoc malaria wreaked prior to recorded history. 

So that's what I'd do, eliminate all that shit.

That would leave the issue of procreation also.

I thought about that.  I'd have women's cycles be every 6 months or even once a year instead of every month.  There ya go.  

[trdsf]

A metabolism that doesn't go haywire when you turn 40.

Also, wings.

[Ausländer]

Being an engineer, i am offended by all these stereotypes about our profession!

Here is a link that will certainly do away with all those falsehoods and minsconceptions: https://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2003/...r_Test.htm

Liebchen*
I spent 7 of the happiest years of my life in a german engineering university
I have jokes to mock every profession
"One economist is one guy that tomorrow will be able to explain you why what he yesterday forecasted for today it did not happen"



*Extremely stark Rheinisch accent, as my German sounds...

[Ausländer]

I thought about that.  I'd have women's cycles be every 6 months or even once a year instead of every month.  There ya go.  

This actually is what made us human together with cooking.
As big apes we humans also have sex "for pleasure and not reproductive reasons" such as the bonobos, but we human add also other things: the ability to eat cooked food (that means our food is more nutricious --> less time spent eating --> more time for tinkering around) and the ability to trust and work for a not visible thing such as an idea.
When we observe apes in nature they have social bonding but the members of "tribe A" do not cooperate with members of "tribe B" since they "do not know them". We as human can do that if both tribe A and tribe B believe in the same non existing thing that unify us.
The "not exitent thing" can be the idea of god, paper money, peace&love, LBGT rights, racist rights and every "invented thing" that is only an idea.
About the comparison of us & apes in sex etc I suggest to read "The third monkey" of J. Diamond or "Why is sex fun" always of Diamond
About the abstract idea and how following it made us the most influential animal on the planet the works of Yuval Noah Harari (atheist jew)
About how eating cooked food shaped us there is a very good book: Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human from Richard Wrangham

[Deesse23]

*Extremely stark Rheinisch accent, as my German sounds...

RWTH Aachen?

...and your favourite beer is....Kölsch?  

[Ausländer]

*Extremely stark Rheinisch accent, as my German sounds...

...and your favourite beer is....Kölsch?  

Schatzylein
this is difficult: I drink very very very little beer. In 15 years in DE I bought only one 20 bottles Kiste only because friends where coming from Italy and wanted to have it. I sticked to "Bitte ein Bit" when I was visiting restaurants but I am way more into wein. Aged Mosel Riesling remains one of my favourite wines also here in Italy

P.S. Genau, I am an Öcher Jonge

[RobbyPants]

Now, why would anyone create creatures that all have to eat and poop? If I were the creator of life, I would surely eliminate that.

It gets weirder than that. He finds it disgusting and demands his followers crap outside their camps because "the Lord walks among them".

Deuteronomy 23:12-14:

12 “You shall have a place outside the camp, and you shall go out to it. 13 And you shall have a trowel with your tools, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it and turn back and cover up your excrement. 14 Because the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy, so that he may not see anything indecent among you and turn away from you.

[Deesse23]

In 15 years in DE I bought only one 20 bottles Kiste only because friends where coming from Italy and wanted to have it. I sticked to "Bitte ein Bit" when I was visiting restaurants but I am way more into wein. Aged Mosel Riesling remains one of my favourite wines also here in Italy

Good, good.

P.S. Genau, I am an Öcher Jonge

Time to start worshipping the seer = me  

[mordant]

Now, why would anyone create creatures that all have to eat and poop?

God loves shit?

I used to own an African Grey Parrot who devised its own curses as an amalgam of things she had heard my late wife and I exclaim from time to time. Her favorite was: "God shit!". And said with great conviction, I might add.

[Dom]

Now, why would anyone create creatures that all have to eat and poop?

God loves shit?

I used to own an African Grey Parrot who devised its own curses as an amalgam of things she had heard my late wife and I exclaim from time to time. Her favorite was: "God shit!". And said with great conviction, I might add.

African Grey's word skills are amazing! I should create all animals to have the Greys talking skills. Or the same talking skills we do - it would be really cool to talk to animals, not to mention the additional skills of vision, hearing and scenting we could benefit from. Maybe these skills should be created for humans in the first place too.