Got a favorite malaphor?

[Mark]

My stepson just sent me a link to a Fb page where I learned that malaphors are what you call a kind of word play I fall into all the time.  A "malaphor" can be defined as an informal term for a mixture of two aphorisms, idioms, or clichés (such as "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it").

A favorite exclamation of excitement of mine is "Holy moly, mother of pearl!"

Others I read at that site include: "They can wait until the cows freeze over"; "You've opened this can of worms, now lie in it"; "When in Rome, there's no place like home"; and "Let's kill one bird with two stones".

You get the idea.  Got any you use or like?

[Phaedrus]

I try to avoid cliches like the plague.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"When in Rome, the Greek had a word for it."

[Chas]

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

[no one]

[Dancefortwo]

If wishes were horses rats are jumping the ship.

[Mark]

I can't quite make out what the old bartender says about people in glass houses.  Did you catch that?

[no one]

People in glass houses sink ships.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If I've told you once that should be enough.

[Mark]

If wishes were horses rats are jumping the ship.

I don't think I know where the "..rats are jumping the ship" part comes from.  Is there a saying that ends tat way?

[skyking]

Not the same, but my favorite:
No good deed goes unpunished.

[Mark]

Not the same, but my favorite:
No good deed goes unpunished.

I'd count it but more importantly I like and use it too.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If wishes were horses rats are jumping the ship.

I don't think I know where the "..rats are jumping the ship" part comes from.  Is there a saying that ends tat way?

Rats leave a ship when it's sinking. Until then you can't get rid of them. "Fleeing like rats deserting a sinking ship" is where this one comes from.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I don't care for mixed metaphors.

[skyking]

I nurture them in a window box.

[Kaneda]

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

[SYZ]

A Pentagon staffer, complaining that efforts to reform the military have been too timid:
"It's just ham-fisted salami-slicing by the bean counters."

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I don't care for mixed metaphors.

I like my metaphors like I like my ships, on the rocks.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I nurture them in a window box.

Try that with a nutria.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I don't care for mixed metaphors.

I like my metaphors like I like my ships, on the rocks.

Figures.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I don't care for mixed metaphors.

I like my metaphors like I like my ships, on the rocks.

Figures.

Hey, if it's good enough for the USN...

[TheGentlemanBastard]

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

[TheGentlemanBastard]

I love metaphors. But I hate it when I metaphor sex and it doesn't pan out.

[Mark]

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Forgot about that one.  A big fave!

[Mark]

I love metaphors. But I hate it when I metaphor sex and it doesn't pan out.

Lost me.  I may be having a senior moment .. for the rest of my life.