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Jesus is returning in the next ten years
#26

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 04:27 PM)Mark Wrote:
(09-30-2019, 03:05 AM)Alan V Wrote: Jesus already came back and left again.  No one recognized him.   hobo

I read about that.  At some shopping mall with Elvis, right?



Some sort of traffic accident.

Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#27
Big Grin 
Jesus is returning in the next ten years
I had to read up on Jim Bakker on RationalWiki for an update.

Apparently, Bakker now claims that:

•  God was angry about a US presidential eulogy at a funeral of a former Israeli prime minister that Bakker
did not fully approve of. So God sent a hurricane that killed random people—mostly in Haiti—as punishment,

•  Some of those who oppose Donald Trump are demon possessed and have demons coming out of their eyes,

•  A suicide bombing in Manchester, England killed 22 and injured 59, some seriously, whereby he claims the
victims brought it on themselves because they attended the concert where the bombing happened and the
title, "Dangerous Women Tour" somehow mocked God.  Victims included children,

•  If Donald Trump is impeached from office, Christians will rise up and start a civil war. He's also claimed that
the Trump presidency is God testing Christians' faith because it is.


Anyway... if Jesus is returning within the next ten years, I'd better return my 4-year-overdue library books,
and pay a 2017 parking fine.     You can't afford to take too many risks with JC on your tail!
I'm a creationist;   I believe that man created God.
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#28

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 05:24 PM)SYZ Wrote: I had to read up on Jim Bakker on RationalWiki for an update.

Apparently, Bakker now claims that:

•  God was angry about a US presidential eulogy at a funeral of a former Israeli prime minister that Bakker
did not fully approve of. So God sent a hurricane that killed random people—mostly in Haiti—as punishment,

•  Some of those who oppose Donald Trump are demon possessed and have demons coming out of their eyes,

•  A suicide bombing in Manchester, England killed 22 and injured 59, some seriously, whereby he claims the
victims brought it on themselves because they attended the concert where the bombing happened and the
title, "Dangerous Women Tour" somehow mocked God.  Victims included children,

•  If Donald Trump is impeached from office, Christians will rise up and start a civil war. He's also claimed that
the Trump presidency is God testing Christians' faith because it is.


Anyway... if Jesus is returning within the next ten years, I'd better return my 4-year-overdue library books,
and pay a 2017 parking fine.     You can't afford to take too many risks with JC on your tail!

Like one meme says, "Jesus is coming ... look busy!"
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#29

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Jesus better get his ass back before 10 years.
Since he's been the foreman of my ma's ranch operation for years, he and his wife Esperanza are our second set of parents.
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#30

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-01-2019, 02:47 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote: Jesus better get his ass back before 10 years.
Since he's been the foreman of my ma's ranch operation for years, he and his wife Esperanza are our second set of parents.

Is that possibly pronounced "Hey-soos"?

I've often wondered if literalists ever get bent out of shape when they  are told "Jesus"  is a latin name .That his parents and friends would probably have called  him "Yeshua " or "Yoshua", or perhaps "God"

-and let's not forget Yeshua's most likely appearance --he probably looked a lot more like Hey soos  than a 6 foot, blonde haired,  blue eyed caucasian.  

Umm do ya think he's been hiding at your folk's ranch?
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#31

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
[Image: 46pN--rTMD243GVPUBtHjxAKHmsyaUFHN2UAx6Qy...18f3598277]
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#32

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-01-2019, 04:13 AM)grympy Wrote: I've often wondered if literalists ever get bent out of shape when they  are told "Jesus"  is a latin name .That his parents and friends would probably have called  him "Yeshua " or "Yoshua", or perhaps "God"

I doubt that the parents called a "ne'er do well" who instead of getting a job told them "I think I'll become a wandering preacher / moocher" and see what trouble I can get myself into" ... "god". 
Big Grin
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#33

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-01-2019, 11:01 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:
(10-01-2019, 04:13 AM)grympy Wrote: I've often wondered if literalists ever get bent out of shape when they  are told "Jesus"  is a latin name .That his parents and friends would probably have called  him "Yeshua " or "Yoshua", or perhaps "God"

I doubt that the parents called a "ne'er do well" who instead of getting a job told them "I think I'll become a wandering preacher / moocher" and see what trouble I can get myself into" ... "god". 
Big Grin

Among devout Jews ,a rabbi was and remains an honourable calling. A bit like [some] Catholic Parents  when their children  wanted to become priests or nuns. 

Not MY mum. At one time I wanted to become a Jesuit .I thought the costume was really cool. I told mum. She said "That's nice darling. Of course you may become  a Jesuit. Right after you have finished school and have worked for two years "

I went away and had a bit of a think about that. While I was thinking, I realised  Jesuits are priests and priests  are CELIBATE!  I decided I didn't really want to be a Jesuit after all   Deadpan Coffee Drinker

OT; In recent years I discovered that with one exception, all of the brothers who had brutalised me had left the order and married. My favourite, who never hit me once in seven years, ran off with  the librarian. I was so impressed.
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#34

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-01-2019, 11:52 PM)grympy Wrote:
(10-01-2019, 11:01 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:
(10-01-2019, 04:13 AM)grympy Wrote: I've often wondered if literalists ever get bent out of shape when they  are told "Jesus"  is a latin name .That his parents and friends would probably have called  him "Yeshua " or "Yoshua", or perhaps "God"

I doubt that the parents called a "ne'er do well" who instead of getting a job told them "I think I'll become a wandering preacher / moocher" and see what trouble I can get myself into" ... "god". 
Big Grin

Among devout Jews ,a rabbi was and remains an honourable calling. A bit like [some] Catholic Parents  when their children  wanted to become priests or nuns. 

Not MY mum. At one time I wanted to become a Jesuit .I thought the costume was really cool. I told mum. She said "That's nice darling. Of course you may become  a Jesuit. Right after you have finished school and have worked for two years "

I went away and had a bit of a think about that. While I was thinking, I realised  Jesuits are priests and priests  are CELIBATE!  I decided I didn't really want to be a Jesuit after all   Deadpan Coffee Drinker

OT; In recent years I discovered that with one exception, all of the brothers who had brutalised me had left the order and married. My favourite, who never hit me once in seven years, ran off with  the librarian. I was so impressed.

The life-paths of rabbis was highly structured and pretty much set in stone. https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/9351/b6...098dd7.pdf
The fact that Jesus was never said to be married is very troubling, because there was only one rabbi in that period who was not married, and they talked about it a lot. They never said anything about Yehua ben Joseph  either being a rabbi, nor are there comments on his non-married state, which one would expect in Judaism. It was Jewish LAW that males marry and produce offspring. https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/celibacy

I don't think the celibacy requirement stopped many of the Jesuits. Big Grin
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#35

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 03:41 AM)grympy Wrote: (Susan Sarandon is  quite yummy. At least I thought so when I first saw the  film at about age 25)

Susan Sarandon is STILL quite yummy.

rmfr
It shall always be more important to know how to think rather than to be told what to think - rmfr
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#36

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-10-2019, 09:19 PM)arakish Wrote:
(09-30-2019, 03:41 AM)grympy Wrote: (Susan Sarandon is  quite yummy. At least I thought so when I first saw the  film at about age 25)

Susan Sarandon is STILL quite yummy.

rmfr

[Image: brooke-shields-pretty-baby-embed-02.jpg]
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#37

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
LOL... So here I am, reading about the return of Jesus, and what do I find after a couple of days?

A pic of Susan Sarandon and Brooke Shields!
I'm a creationist;   I believe that man created God.
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#38

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-11-2019, 08:48 AM)SYZ Wrote: LOL... So here I am, reading about the return of Jesus, and what do I find after a couple of days?

A pic of Susan Sarandon and Brooke Shields!
You mean a pic of a hot lady and some kid...
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#39

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-11-2019, 08:48 AM)SYZ Wrote: LOL... So here I am, reading about the return of Jesus, and what do I find after a couple of days?

A pic of Susan Sarandon and Brooke Shields!



Staying on topic is not a big goal around here!
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#40

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 12:20 AM)Phaedrus Wrote: Is the newest prediction from Televangelist Jim Bakker

Great. Make sure he brings enough pizza. I'm low on smokes too, I'll pay him back when he gets here.
"What senses do we lack that we cannot see or hear another world all around us?" -- Frank Herbert
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#41

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(09-30-2019, 05:24 PM)SYZ Wrote: Some of those who oppose Donald Trump are demon possessed and have demons coming out of their eyes

Man, I'd pay cash-money to have that. Can you imagine the shock-and-awe I would inspire on Pennsylvania Avenue? Some fucking heads would roll!


Demons coming out of my eyes ... that's fuckin' rad.
"What senses do we lack that we cannot see or hear another world all around us?" -- Frank Herbert
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#42

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-11-2019, 04:12 PM)Minimalist Wrote:
(10-11-2019, 08:48 AM)SYZ Wrote: LOL... So here I am, reading about the return of Jesus, and what do I find after a couple of days?

A pic of Susan Sarandon and Brooke Shields!



Staying on topic is not a big goal around here!

I could have gone off topic a bit.

[Image: 8d1b776787b44f0e076b8f3a1a0ea232.jpg]
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#43

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Mormon magic underwear?
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#44

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-11-2019, 04:12 PM)Minimalist Wrote:
(10-11-2019, 08:48 AM)SYZ Wrote: LOL... So here I am, reading about the return of Jesus, and what do I find after a couple of days?

A pic of Susan Sarandon and Brooke Shields!



Staying on topic is not a big goal around here!

That's because nobody around here gives one shit about a musty 2000 year old fictional character so we wander off topic and discuss Susan Sarandon.  Why the heck not? She's a smart gal and a fine actress.
                                                         T4618
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#45

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
Joke's on Jimmy. Jesus returned on August 8th, 1998. I found him in a puddle of his own bodily fluids. Cleaned him up, gave him a job. Believe it or not, Jesus is the sole employee of my flourishing catering business.
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#46

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-11-2019, 07:37 PM)Dancefortwo Wrote:
(10-11-2019, 04:12 PM)Minimalist Wrote:
(10-11-2019, 08:48 AM)SYZ Wrote: LOL... So here I am, reading about the return of Jesus, and what do I find after a couple of days?

A pic of Susan Sarandon and Brooke Shields!



Staying on topic is not a big goal around here!

That's because nobody around here gives one shit about a musty 2000 year old fictional character so we wander off topic and discuss Susan Sarandon.  Why the heck not? She's a smart gal and a fine actress.

Indeed; 'Thelma and Louise,' 'Dead Man Walking', 'Bull Durham',.My favourite is still Janet in 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. I found 'Pretty Baby' a bit disturbing. It sails pretty close to child pornography imo. Of course  Susan Sarandon makes a very fetching hooker.
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#47

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
As I recall, Jesus has returned and has been living in South Park, Colorado for well over a decade.  Big Grin
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#48

Jesus is returning in the next ten years
(10-11-2019, 07:33 PM)Minimalist Wrote: Mormon magic underwear?

Hanes tighty whiteys.
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