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Stupid things the religious say
#1

Stupid things the religious say
We have a pics for a laugh at religion thread, but frankly, even the most intelligent joke isn't anywhere as funny as the stuff that comes out of religious people's mouths and for damn serious, too.

I give you (from *the* stupidest guy I've met in my life who's apparently just gotten divorced and frankly, I'm stunned it took this long as his wife was actually not dumb and he was, kid you not, dumber than shit):

"Rejection is Gods (sic) protection"

Another favourite of mine:

"You don't believe in God, you either know Him or you don't."

[Image: AlarmingAlienatedKagu-size_restricted.gif]

More to come...
“We drift down time, clutching at straws. But what good's a brick to a drowning man?” 
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#2

Stupid things the religious say
"I don't believe Jesus is my lord and savior, I KNOW he is, otherwise why would he have suffered and died like that?"

~A co-worker.
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...
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#3

Stupid things the religious say
- Faith is evidence based -
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#4

Stupid things the religious say
"There is no such thing as evolution because we don't have more fingers to better use computers".

Student of theology whom I had met.
The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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#5

Stupid things the religious say
"God is good, all the time" is a bumper-sticker I've seen before.
"What senses do we lack that we cannot see or hear another world all around us?" -- Frank Herbert
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#6

Stupid things the religious say
"God exists."
My Argument Against Free Will Wrote:(1) Ultimately, to control your actions you have to originate your original nature.

(2) But you can't originate your original nature—it's already there.

(3) So, ultimately, you can't control your actions.
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#7

Stupid things the religious say
Muh huly buuk.
I didn't come from no monkey.
Anything that spills out of Ray Comfort's other asshole.
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#8

Stupid things the religious say
''You don't believe a god exists because you're just angry at God''
Those who ask a lot of questions may seem stupid, but those who don't ask questions stay stupid.
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#9

Stupid things the religious say
"I'll pray for you"
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#10

Stupid things the religious say
"Evolution isn't true! No one is going to call me a monkey!" (Sister Andrew Maria, a nun who taught me religion during my freshman year at St. Jerome High School)
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#11

Stupid things the religious say
I went to a recent Alpha course ( A Christian basics course in the U.K.) to fulfil a promise to a friend..

I said I thought christianity was a made up religion, the leader of the group smiled at me and said ''So you think someone woke up one day and though.. ohh I'll make a religion up, how likely is that ?'' and relaxed looking round the rest of the group smiling thinking he had made his point''

Then I asked if all other religions were true, he said no of course not, I said ''well people make up religions all the time then!'' he looked serious and admitted this was the case.
Those who ask a lot of questions may seem stupid, but those who don't ask questions stay stupid.
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#12

Stupid things the religious say
(08-08-2019, 06:36 AM)Szuchow Wrote: "There is no such thing as evolution because we don't have more fingers to better use computers".

Student of theology whom I had met.

This is some whole other level of stupid right there.

A quote from a local celebrity priest (that a lady I lived with in Curitiba likes), that I've seen more than one person share and like. I really need to be out of this dumb place full of dumb people ASAP:

"No, he wasn't an atheist. He just couldn't believe in the stupid god they showed him." Facepalm

From the same genius:

"When suffering knocks, open the door."
“We drift down time, clutching at straws. But what good's a brick to a drowning man?” 
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#13

Stupid things the religious say
(08-08-2019, 03:28 PM)Vera Wrote:
(08-08-2019, 06:36 AM)Szuchow Wrote: "There is no such thing as evolution because we don't have more fingers to better use computers".

Student of theology whom I had met.

This is some whole other level of stupid right there.

A quote from a local celebrity priest (that a lady I lived with in Curitiba likes), that I've seen more than one person share and like. I really need to be out of this dumb place full of dumb people ASAP:

"No, he wasn't an atheist. He just couldn't believe in the stupid god they showed him." Facepalm

From the same genius:

"When suffering knocks, open the door."

Lady saying this was beyond stupid. In addition to idiocy aforementioned she believed in intervention of Mary the Virgin during Poland Russian 1920 war and if I'm not mistaken some worldwide Jewish conspiracy.
The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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#14

Stupid things the religious say
https://fstdt.com/

Quote:Welcome to Fundies Say the Darndest Things

You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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#15

Stupid things the religious say
(08-08-2019, 03:28 PM)Vera Wrote: A quote from a local celebrity priest (that a lady I lived with in Curitiba likes), that I've seen more than one person share and like. I really need to be out of this dumb place full of dumb people ASAP:

"No, he wasn't an atheist. He just couldn't believe in the stupid god they showed him." Facepalm

From the same genius:

"When suffering knocks, open the door."

There's nothing quite like the Catholic glorification of suffering. Or, for that matter, the suffering porn that constitutes a significant portion of their art.
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#16

Stupid things the religious say
[Bullets kill everyone around me]

Me: God was protecting me!
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#17

Stupid things the religious say
Weird religious ideas: garbage in, garbage out.
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#18

Stupid things the religious say
Some dude came running out of the dark as I was walking to the grocery store Tuesday night and accosted me with, "Do you need a prayer for anything today?" I didn't, so I said no, and he went on his way with a parting, "Jesus loves you!" My first thought was to check that I still had all my things and that the sudden encounter had just been a pretext for some sticky fingers.


“The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson
[Image: signature%20The-Ascension-of-Iweko.jpg]
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#19

Stupid things the religious say
(08-08-2019, 06:49 PM)jerry mcmasters Wrote: [Bullets kill everyone around me]

Me:  God was protecting me!


Obviously, why else would he have surrounded you with human shields.
"Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's. 
F. D.
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#20

Stupid things the religious say
The stupidest things the religious say are said by the religious stupid. Likewise with the stupidest stuff our lot says. Hard to say how much religion contributes to the onset of stupid. But with some of the more extreme fundamentalist sects of Christianity it is easy to imagine it must at least be a contributing factor.
"Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's. 
F. D.
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#21

Stupid things the religious say
[Image: 37m64k.jpg]
Don't mistake me for those nice folks from Give-A-Shit county.
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#22

Stupid things the religious say
(08-09-2019, 01:18 PM)Old Man Marsh Wrote: [Image: 37m64k.jpg]

As a former evangelical, I can tell you that'd be seen by them as a horrifically impertinent, egotistical example of the "sin" of pride, and probably also as blasphemous. That mindset is all about ceding self-determination to the will of the deity. But they never understand that the will of the deity is just what their own handlers claim it to be (and contort the scriptures to support their claims). So it effectively is just ceding personal responsibility and self determination to someone else. And not the someone you're imagining it to be, either.

It also never occurs to them that self-determination leads directly to being personally responsible -- or if it does, they think they aren't up for it (learned helplessness). Instead, it is thought to lead to utter selfishness, bad decisions, and ultimately depraved, mindless pleasure-seeking.

One of the biggest practical revelations about the experience of deconversion is how well the center held. The sky did not fall, I did not become depraved and out of control and selfish and hateful. Nothing in fact changed at all, other than that I now did the Right Thing for better reasons -- not because it was commanded, or because punishments were threatened, but because I chose to out of empathy and personal integrity.
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#23

Stupid things the religious say
(08-09-2019, 04:24 PM)mordant Wrote:
(08-09-2019, 01:18 PM)Old Man Marsh Wrote: [Image: 37m64k.jpg]

As a former evangelical, I can tell you that'd be seen by them as a horrifically impertinent, egotistical example of the "sin" of pride, and probably also as blasphemous. That mindset is all about ceding self-determination to the will of the deity. But they never understand that the will of the deity is just what their own handlers claim it to be (and contort the scriptures to support their claims). So it effectively is just ceding personal responsibility and self determination to someone else. And not the someone you're imagining it to be, either.

It also never occurs to them that self-determination leads directly to being personally responsible -- or if it does, they think they aren't up for it (learned helplessness). Instead, it is thought to lead to utter selfishness, bad decisions, and ultimately depraved, mindless pleasure-seeking.

One of the biggest practical revelations about the experience of deconversion is how well the center held. The sky did not fall, I did not become depraved and out of control and selfish and hateful. Nothing in fact changed at all, other than that I now did the Right Thing for better reasons -- not because it was commanded, or because punishments were threatened, but because I chose to out of empathy and personal integrity.

I was brought up in a borderline fundamentalist cult environment. I know what you're talking about.
Don't mistake me for those nice folks from Give-A-Shit county.
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#24

Stupid things the religious say
Abstinence is the only way.

Boys that touch themselves are going to hell.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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#25

Stupid things the religious say
(08-10-2019, 12:19 AM)brewerb Wrote: Boys that touch themselves are going to hell.

Yep, they should wait till they're men and then start touching boys. With that the church has no problem Deadpan Coffee Drinker
“We drift down time, clutching at straws. But what good's a brick to a drowning man?” 
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