Why men sniff their fingers after scratching their balls

[madog]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open  
 

Better than sitting on a wet seat  ... The more considerate men like me lift it up to let it dry off 

[brewerb]

Yep, here's your weird science for the day

Looking for reassurance, we searched far and wide for more concrete answers. We asked organic chemists. We asked primary care specialists. We even asked evolutionary psychologists. No one wanted to answer our question. Our love of our own ball smell, we feared, would remain a mystery.

But finally! One responded: Biopsychologist Nigel Barber, who specializes in sexual and reproductive behavior using an evolutionary approach. According to Barber, neither hygiene nor curiosity is the reason for this infatuation. Instead, he theorizes that men sniff their ball-sweat-smelling fingers to feel more alive.

In simpler terms, sniffing your ball smell is reassuring, because it solidifies the fact that you’re a unique human being — one who makes a unique smell, albeit probably not one anyone else would appreciate.

Barber adds that our instinctive attraction to our own scent is essentially a form of egoism, a philosophical theory that recognizes the self above all else. Which is fair: There’s truly nothing like a hefty whiff of your own scrotum odor to remind you that you’re living life in your own unique way.

You're welcome.  

Oh plaeese. It's just cause we can't bend.

[Dom]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open so you miscalculate the distance down as well as are greeted by an ice cold thin rim of ceramic. 

It can turn you into a murderous maniac...it's a rude awakening during a process that would normally never even register.

Men who fail to put the seat down are banned in my house.

This is why god gave us nightlights.

You don't want lights when you go to pee in the middle of the night without actually waking up.

Pick the damn thing up, do your thing, and put it back down or you can't share a bathroom. Period.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open so you miscalculate the distance down as well as are greeted by an ice cold thin rim of ceramic. 

It can turn you into a murderous maniac...it's a rude awakening during a process that would normally never even register.

Men who fail to put the seat down are banned in my house.

This is why god gave us nightlights.

You don't want lights when you go to pee in the middle of the night without actually waking up.

Pick the damn thing up, do your thing, and put it back down or you can't share a bathroom. Period.

Put it down, do your thing, and put it back up or you can't share the bathroom. Period or not.

[Dancefortwo]

Why is it that women always demand that the seat is down, and have
the self-righteous expectation of it being so?  How is it that men must
obey this rule without any objections?  Would it not be fair for men to
equally claim the opposite in this scenario, that is, the seat is always up?

This is blatant discrimination against men by the feminist lobby, and is
truly outrageous!

So... I say to men;  leave the seat down, and leave your piss all over the
toilet seat.  Great steaming globules of the stuff; stinking rivulets of your
golden nectar.  Maybe even let some splash on the fucking floor tiles.

Then maybe she'll put the seat up... how it was designed to be.    

Because when some women go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (and don't turn on the light)  some women have been known to fall butt first into the toilet. 

[Tres Leches]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open  
 

Better than sitting on a wet seat  ... The more considerate men like me lift it up to let it dry off 

Naw, I leave used tampons floating in the toilet so even if the seat is left down there's a nice target to aim your pee at instead of peeing all over the seat. Problem solved, you're welcome.   

I actually never encounter the seat up/ down problem. It's girls all the way down in my house and out in the world are ladies' restrooms with no boys allowed.   
It's only at friends' or family's homes that very rarely I find a toilet seat is left up.

As for the balls-sniffers thing in the OP...
Yawn, I'm getting sleepy, time for a nap.    

-Teresa

[Dom]

This is why god gave us nightlights.

You don't want lights when you go to pee in the middle of the night without actually waking up.

Pick the damn thing up, do your thing, and put it back down or you can't share a bathroom. Period.

Put it down, do your thing, and put it back up or you can't share the bathroom. Period or not.

I see that the two of us will never share a bathroom. 

[Gawdzilla Sama]

You don't want lights when you go to pee in the middle of the night without actually waking up.

Pick the damn thing up, do your thing, and put it back down or you can't share a bathroom. Period.

Put it down, do your thing, and put it back up or you can't share the bathroom. Period or not.

I see that the two of us will never share a bathroom. 

So there is a god.

[TheGentlemanBastard]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open so you miscalculate the distance down as well as are greeted by an ice cold thin rim of ceramic. 

It can turn you into a murderous maniac...it's a rude awakening during a process that would normally never even register.

Men who fail to put the seat down are banned in my house.

Even when brain-addled by sleep, I can remember to check the position of the toilet seat before dropping a deuce. It really isn't that hard. 

[Dom]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open so you miscalculate the distance down as well as are greeted by an ice cold thin rim of ceramic. 

It can turn you into a murderous maniac...it's a rude awakening during a process that would normally never even register.

Men who fail to put the seat down are banned in my house.

Even when brain-addled by sleep, I can remember to check the position of the toilet seat before dropping a deuce. It really isn't that hard. 

Now if you can remember to leave it in a considerate fashion, you'll be the smart one.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Try stumbling out of bed in the middle of the night, groping your way to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet, which has been left open so you miscalculate the distance down as well as are greeted by an ice cold thin rim of ceramic. 

It can turn you into a murderous maniac...it's a rude awakening during a process that would normally never even register.

Men who fail to put the seat down are banned in my house.

Even when brain-addled by sleep, I can remember to check the position of the toilet seat before dropping a deuce. It really isn't that hard. 

Now if you can remember to leave it in a considerate fashion, you'll be the smart one.

But that's only considerate for one gender.

[no one]

Problem solved!

[Alan V]

The toilet seat has two parts.  Both should be down so no one wins.  

[no one]

Yay me!

[brewerb]

Meh, there is always a tub, shower or sink available.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

When I met my first wife she had two boys, 6 and 8 years old. When I moved in Sharon tried to give me "the lecture". I just put the lid down after every use. She got the message. The boys cheered.

[Tres Leches]

Question for the guys from a genuinely curious person:

If you have to poop and the seat is up, do you put it down before sitting? Do you then raise the seat up again after pooping?
Have you ever pooped at night and accidentally sat inside a toilet bowl? (I'm guessing there's not much night-pooping so that's probably a moot poop question.)

-Teresa

[jerry mcmasters]

Question for the guys from a genuinely curious person:

If you have to poop and the seat is up, do you put it down before sitting? Do you then raise the seat up again after pooping?
Have you ever pooped at night and accidentally sat inside a toilet bowl? (I'm guessing there's not much night-pooping so that's probably a moot poop question.)

-Teresa

We're dumb but we're not that dumb...yah I always check to get the seat down before I sit.  But then I leave it down.

[Fireball]

I put the seat and lid down when I'm finished, because I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.    I endured a bit of rancor after I got married. That was my solution. This shouldn't be a problem for reasonable people. Pointers and setters use the toilet in different ways. If I have to pay attention to the position of the seat, everybody does.

[Dom]

I put the seat and lid down when I'm finished, because I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.    I endured a bit of rancor after I got married. That was my solution. This shouldn't be a problem for reasonable people. Pointers and setters use the toilet in different ways. If I have to pay attention to the position of the seat, everybody does.

That's cool. What's annoying is the falling into the pot with one's ass...

[Tres Leches]

Question for the guys from a genuinely curious person:

If you have to poop and the seat is up, do you put it down before sitting? Do you then raise the seat up again after pooping?
Have you ever pooped at night and accidentally sat inside a toilet bowl? (I'm guessing there's not much night-pooping so that's probably a moot poop question.)

-Teresa

We're dumb but we're not that dumb...yah I always check to get the seat down before I sit.  But then I leave it down.

So you're saying we ladies who accidentally sit inside a toilet bowl to pee at night are dumb?     


I'm just yanking your chain, btw. 

-Teresa

[Tres Leches]

I put the seat and lid down when I'm finished, because I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.    I endured a bit of rancor after I got married. That was my solution. This shouldn't be a problem for reasonable people. Pointers and setters use the toilet in different ways. If I have to pay attention to the position of the seat, everybody does.

That is actually a good idea, sanitation-wise. I started doing this after hearing that fecal spray happens microscopically when flushing.

-Teresa

[julep]

I don't see what the issue is with the toilet seat.

Some of you ladies may not know this, but men sometimes use the toilet with the seat down too. Never once... never, ever, ever, not even one time... have I seen it as an inconvenience to have to put the toilet seat down before taking a dump. I don't see why it's a problem for anyone.

Truly. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm genuinely puzzled about all the griping from women folk.

Picture yourself at 3 in the morning, you don’t put the light on so as not to wake your spouse, and sit down on the toilet bowl rather than the seat.  

Also one might note that peeing and dumping aren’t the only thing women are doing on the toilet...they are often doing rather bloody work there.  If a toilet is shared, seat-down is considerate.  

In my house it’s lid-down because of the cat liking to drink toilet water.

[Fireball]

I put the seat and lid down when I'm finished, because I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.    I endured a bit of rancor after I got married. That was my solution. This shouldn't be a problem for reasonable people. Pointers and setters use the toilet in different ways. If I have to pay attention to the position of the seat, everybody does.

That is actually a good idea, sanitation-wise. I started doing this after hearing that fecal spray happens microscopically when flushing.

-Teresa

I watched an episode of MythBusters (who get so much wrong that I just cringe) where they left toothbrushes in bathrooms for various amounts of time, and they almost all had e. coli growing on them. >.< Maybe people brush their teeth after defecating and don't wash their hands first? 

[no one]

I poop on my neighbor's porch. Sometimes his pool.