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Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
#51

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
Not wanting to have children of one's own doesn't necessarily mean that one dislikes kids.
There are plenty of children in my life:  nieces, nephews, friend's kids -- and I've worked
for child abuse prevention agencies and therapeutic children's programs.

It's because  I like kids that I decided not to have any of my own.  I have too many
projects, careers, and commitments going on to possibly give a child the full time and
attention they require from a parent.  When I babysit relatives, those kids get 100%
of my attention for the full time they're with me.  The parents get some respite; I get
my kid-fix; and the kids get to do something different with crazy Doc H for a few hours
and burn up some excess energy.  But then they go back home  at the end of the day, 
or the end of the visit to the park, or the science center trip, or whatever.  

There are plenty of kids in the world who don't have any adults they can rely on.
For me to add any more children to the mix before that  problem is adequately
addressed just seems, to me, selfish and irresponsible.  So, I decided not to do it.
" I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry. "
                                                                                 -- John Cage
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#52

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
Humans tend to be morally outraged by anyone who thinks differently.
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#53

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-07-2018, 09:56 PM)Dr H Wrote: There are plenty of kids in the world who don't have any adults they can rely on.

I’m gonna flip this on its head and argue that there are not enough adults in this world...
You know, living in hell is a lot more boring than I thought it would be.
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#54

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
I dislike children. I base that on the first twelve years of my own life. After that I disliked teens.
  [Image: pirates.gif] Dog  
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#55

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
I'm one of the few going against the grain in this thread, but becoming a father was the turning-point in a life filled with them. I understand and respect those who decided differently, but I know that for myself, as much work and sacrifice as it involved, I got as much out of parenthood, too -- and still do. My son's 21 now, dealing with some issues but responsible, hard-working, and most importantly, thoughtful. I wouldn't change a thing. Well, except that time he hit a passing car with a rock. Oh, and that one -- never mind, it's all been good. Smile

I'm not one of those moralists about it. I've done some online reading and the extreme subcultures on both sides of this discussion are creepy. I don't get the fascination with someone else's reproductive decisions. Live your life, be who you are, and step away from the soapbox, goddamnit.
"What senses do we lack that we cannot see or hear another world all around us?" -- Frank Herbert
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#56

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-07-2018, 06:34 PM)SYZ Wrote: I decided more than 50 years ago (along with my then wife) not to have kids. 

I've not once regretted that decision, and to ensure it I had a vasectomy at a very young age that the
majority of GPs would (legally) refuse to do it.  Abortion was also illegal here in Australia at that time.

I’m pretty sure here in America today most physicians won’t perofrm tubal ligation for women that haven’t yet had children or need it medically. The procedure for women can be difficult to reverse, and how could they POSSIBLY know for sure they never want children? Facepalm
[Image: 320-C6-ED7-97-CD-4-AB2-A60-A-759-A45-FB7-FE8.jpg]
"The Thinking Atheist forum" “The Thinking Atheist forum closed down" “TTA Forum”
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#57

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
Baby haten' atheists?  Now I've heard everything!  Tongue 

Honestly, I do sometimes feel a bit guilty having raised my kids at a time when their future looks so precarious, but I could never wish not to have had them. It's a lot of worry and work sure, but if you raise them well, they are sources of great fun & joy, and they'll teach you about as much as you teach them (if you're doing it right).

For the record, I don't like kids... other peoples' kids that is, it's a much different feeling when they're your own (obviously). One of the great benefits that I've gotten is to see the world from their perspective, you get to see the world new again.

As for all those terrible things that people think about kids, in many cases a lot of kids are reflecting the disrespect that I think they themselves have been shown. It's the way they've been taught by their parents whether the parents want to admit it or even realize it. The way society has decided what the "norm" is on how children should be raised is quite bad. This would probably be worth an entire thread on it's own.

But back to the topic here, I think most of the pressure is unfairly pushed on girls as for so many eons through culture and religion a woman's worth was decided based solely on her ability to have and raise kids, and sadly this has not yet changed.
_____________________________________________________

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard

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#58

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-07-2018, 05:44 PM)Full Circle Wrote:
(11-07-2018, 05:16 PM)Kaneda Wrote: Can you imagine what the electoral map will look like when 90% of the country is living along the northern border because of Climate Change?

Canada would be the one building a wall.  Deadpan Coffee Drinker

We've already started.  Big Grin


And the U.S. is going to pay for it.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it.
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#59

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
Being second youngest in a family of eleven children, most of whom retain their Catholicism, I've been an uncle since I was eight.

I have truly loved being uncle to, uh, twenty-some nieces and nephews. But I have never wanted kids of my own. Mostly because I can barely take care of myself (one of several ways I am childlike, in hopefully a charming way). That, and depression. I couldn't do that to another person. Two other people.

At least I'm considered by most to be the favorite uncle. Or the funny one. I'll take it.
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...
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#60

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
In all honesty, I have no issues with people who don't want to have children. It's the low life, bottom feeders that intentionally harm that sicken me. They are the most vile, wretched, despicable scum on the planet!
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#61

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 05:59 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote: Being second youngest in a family of eleven children, most of whom retain their Catholicism, I've been an uncle since I was eight.

I have truly loved being uncle to, uh, twenty-some nieces and nephews. But I have never wanted kids of my own. Mostly because I can barely take care of myself (one of several ways I am childlike, in hopefully a charming way). That, and depression. I couldn't do that to another person. Two other people.

At least I'm considered by most to be the favorite uncle. Or the funny one. I'll take it.

Wait... hold on.

You're a guy??
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#62

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:06 PM)Aliza Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 05:59 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote: Being second youngest in a family of eleven children, most of whom retain their Catholicism, I've been an uncle since I was eight.

I have truly loved being uncle to, uh, twenty-some nieces and nephews. But I have never wanted kids of my own. Mostly because I can barely take care of myself (one of several ways I am childlike, in hopefully a charming way). That, and depression. I couldn't do that to another person. Two other people.

At least I'm considered by most to be the favorite uncle. Or the funny one. I'll take it.

Wait... hold on.

You're a guy??

Great, now you'll read everything I write differently.

I have no problem with your established mental picture of me as Ms. Darkbloom.
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...
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#63

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:11 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:06 PM)Aliza Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 05:59 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote: Being second youngest in a family of eleven children, most of whom retain their Catholicism, I've been an uncle since I was eight.

I have truly loved being uncle to, uh, twenty-some nieces and nephews. But I have never wanted kids of my own. Mostly because I can barely take care of myself (one of several ways I am childlike, in hopefully a charming way). That, and depression. I couldn't do that to another person. Two other people.

At least I'm considered by most to be the favorite uncle. Or the funny one. I'll take it.

Wait... hold on.

You're a guy??

Great, now you'll read everything I write differently.

I have no problem with your established mental picture of me as Ms. Darkbloom.

I make an effort to read people's posts from a neutral perspective, but that's difficult sometimes. Some of the fun with being on the internet is to shed your identity and just be you.
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#64

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:19 PM)Aliza Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:11 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:06 PM)Aliza Wrote: Wait... hold on.

You're a guy??

Great, now you'll read everything I write differently.

I have no problem with your established mental picture of me as Ms. Darkbloom.

I make an effort to read people's posts from a neutral perspective, but that's difficult sometimes. Some of the fun with being on the internet is to shed your identity and just be you.

Just so you know, I wasn't trying to trick anyone. I honestly thought I had put the info on my profile. And I explained my user name in my introduction.
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...
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#65

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:26 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:19 PM)Aliza Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:11 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote: Great, now you'll read everything I write differently.

I have no problem with your established mental picture of me as Ms. Darkbloom.

I make an effort to read people's posts from a neutral perspective, but that's difficult sometimes. Some of the fun with being on the internet is to shed your identity and just be you.

Just so you know, I wasn't trying to trick anyone. I honestly thought I had put the info on my profile. And I explained my user name in my introduction.
I don't feel like you were tricking anyone. I just assumed. Smile

I don't try to trick people either, but I do keep my personal details off the forum and I'd never begrudge anyone else for doing the same. Absolutely anyone can be reading these forums, and we're all responsible for our own privacy and safety.

If I say it, it's the truth.* When I don't want something openly known (or more specifically when I don't want something mentioned on the public end of the forum), I simply don't bring it to the table for discussion.

*Except for my age. I flagrantly lie about my age.
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#66

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:36 PM)Aliza Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:26 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:19 PM)Aliza Wrote: I make an effort to read people's posts from a neutral perspective, but that's difficult sometimes. Some of the fun with being on the internet is to shed your identity and just be you.

Just so you know, I wasn't trying to trick anyone. I honestly thought I had put the info on my profile. And I explained my user name in my introduction.
I don't feel like you were tricking anyone. I just assumed. Smile

I don't try to trick people either, but I do keep my personal details off the forum and I'd never begrudge anyone else for doing the same. Absolutely anyone can be reading these forums, and we're all responsible for our own privacy and safety.

If I say it, it's the truth.* When I don't want something openly known (or more specifically when I don't want something mentioned on the public end of the forum), I simply don't bring it to the table for discussion.

*Except for my age. I flagrantly lie about my age.

Out of curiosity, and since we're around the topic, do you create a mental picture of the poster you are engaging? I know I do.

Which makes me think I was a little tricksy, what with the avatar. That and the name....
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...
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#67

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
I assumed we had to post an actual photo in our avatars, am I mistaken?
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#68

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:58 PM)no one Wrote: I assumed we had to post an actual photo in our avatars, am I mistaken?

Well, I suppose I am a dog then.... Big Grin
[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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#69

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:56 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:36 PM)Aliza Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:26 PM)Vivian Darkbloom Wrote: Just so you know, I wasn't trying to trick anyone. I honestly thought I had put the info on my profile. And I explained my user name in my introduction.
I don't feel like you were tricking anyone. I just assumed. Smile

I don't try to trick people either, but I do keep my personal details off the forum and I'd never begrudge anyone else for doing the same. Absolutely anyone can be reading these forums, and we're all responsible for our own privacy and safety.

If I say it, it's the truth.* When I don't want something openly known (or more specifically when I don't want something mentioned on the public end of the forum), I simply don't bring it to the table for discussion.

*Except for my age. I flagrantly lie about my age.

Out of curiosity, and since we're around the topic, do you create a mental picture of the poster you are engaging? I know I do.

Which makes me think I was a little tricksy, what with the avatar. That and the name....
You were not tricksy. You were being a voice on the internet, and voices don't need genders attached to them unless their owner chooses to attach one. That's the whole fun of being on the internet! Just be you and allow yourself to shed the preconceptions people will otherwise form about you and post things that come from the heart.

To answer your question, I create a personality profile rather than a mental image (maybe that's the same thing!) For me, gender (the gender I perceive you to be), professional field, ability to be open-minded, and general disposition are big parts of that profile. Age, marital status, children, grandchildren, economic status, country of origin, and political views aren't really things I concern myself with.
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#70

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 06:58 PM)no one Wrote: I assumed we had to post an actual photo in our avatars, am I mistaken?

I'm not really a peacock. girl blushing

I just think they're pretty and they remind me of home.
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#71

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 07:01 PM)Dom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:58 PM)no one Wrote: I assumed we had to post an actual photo in our avatars, am I mistaken?

Well, I suppose I am a dog then.... Big Grin

Funny that you chimed in; I actually thought you were a guy during my first month at that other forum.

‘Cause like, we share the same name, I think...
You know, living in hell is a lot more boring than I thought it would be.
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#72

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
I'm disabled, so people just lazily assume I can't have kids, or even say I shouldn't have kids, so as not to pass on what I have.

The former is completely wrong, the latter is very debatable, and the truth is that I do not want to ever marry or have kids. People don't know how to stay married, and I really can't deal with most kids. I surely wouldn't want to be left single with child, or have the mother bail on me and take child.

So, I'm quite happy to live out people's stereotypes.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”
Carl Sagan
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#73

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
I love kids.   I had a fabulous childhood so having kids was always a part of my life-plans.  If I somehow couldn't have children or wasn't able to adopt I think I'd have suffered emotionally and mentally.  I'm extremely maternal.    Children have enriched my life like nothing else has.  They've added a depth that I never could have imagined possible.  I look at the world differently because of  my children.    Having children added a mind language  that I don't think people without children can understand or translate.   It's like  chemicals in the brain have been permanently changed but in a wonderful way.   Even with turbulant teen years I'd still have children if I had it to do over again.    

And children know I love them too.  A couple of weeks ago 4 or 5 elementary school kids came to the door selling cookie dough for the local school and of course I bought two boxes of the stuff.  Thumbs Up   I was leaning up against the door jam  joking with them and asking them what they were going to be for Halloween and why they wanted to be that character and pretty soon stories were being told about each kids costume and character.  They were silly and goofy, full of imagination and  excess energy.    It was a great.
                                                         T4618
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#74

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 07:01 PM)Dom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:58 PM)no one Wrote: I assumed we had to post an actual photo in our avatars, am I mistaken?

Well, I suppose I am a dog then.... Big Grin

Or a b....

Nah! Hug
“We drift down time, clutching at straws. But what good's a brick to a drowning man?” 
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#75

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
(11-08-2018, 08:57 PM)Vera Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 07:01 PM)Dom Wrote:
(11-08-2018, 06:58 PM)no one Wrote: I assumed we had to post an actual photo in our avatars, am I mistaken?

Well, I suppose I am a dog then.... Big Grin

Or a b....

Nah! Hug

Rofl2
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