Euthanasia: a good and gentle death

[Minimalist]

The world is just full of religious shits who just KNOW how everyone else should live.

Fuck 'em all.

[JesseB]

This world and everyone in it is shit. The only reason suicide is illegal is to punish everyone with each others company.

Let's be honest.

(Oh and in case that wasn't clear enough, if people wanna blow their brains out. I'm not gonna stop them. If they want a doctor to help, not my problem. People who kill themselves are probably the only smart ones that were ever born)

Disagree. The smart ones are the ones who find a way through this world without getting poisoned by it.

Suicide might be on the menu when and if that time arrives for me ... but who's to say? Until then, I'm happy dealing with reality on its own terms and finding my happiness in this world. However it arrives, whether through the machinations of an evil world, your garden-variety case of cancer, or a sudden airplane crash or crossfire, I'm good. I made my peace with dying a long time ago, as a firefighter. Until the moment occurs, I'm going to live my ass off. I hope everyone reading this does, as well.

Living would be nice I think. I remember living a long time ago. Such luxury is for luckier people than I :p good on you for being so lucky.

I do however make the best of it. Games, school n shit I like that shit. I like my animals. It's humans I pretty much hate. Again, suicide is illegal because it's simply not fair if some people get to go early while the rest of us are stuck dealing with all the other fucking assholes out there.

And don't get me wrong, I love the idea of humans.... until I get to know them....

As a firefighter I'd think you'd see the humor in what I said.......

[Thumpalumpacus]

Living would be nice I think. I remember living a long time ago. Such luxury is for luckier people than I :p good on you for being so lucky.

I do however make the best of it. Games, school n shit I like that shit. I like my animals. It's humans I pretty much hate. Again, suicide is illegal because it's simply not fair if some people get to go early while the rest of us are stuck dealing with all the other fucking assholes out there.

And don't get me wrong, I love the idea of humans.... until I get to know them....

As a firefighter I'd think you'd see the humor in what I said.......

That's not why suicide is illegal, though. It's illegal in America because religious taboos against it influenced our laws. Trust me, it's not anther conspiracy to wreck your happiness.

Clearly you've made your peace with living. That's a good thing. You're still living now. You're just not happy. Both those things are in your control.

[Mark]

The world is just full of religious shits who just KNOW how everyone else should live.

Fuck 'em all.

I only wish I held out the hope you seem to have in spades that the world would be free of shits who just know how everyone else should live if only everyone would drop belief in gods.  I'm afraid the human stain goes much deeper than that.  There are few human faults which don't cross every arbitrary classification of humans.  Then again we are sometimes capable of the occasional uplifting moment, but then that is just as true for the occasional believer too.

[JesseB]

Living would be nice I think. I remember living a long time ago. Such luxury is for luckier people than I :p good on you for being so lucky.

I do however make the best of it. Games, school n shit I like that shit. I like my animals. It's humans I pretty much hate. Again, suicide is illegal because it's simply not fair if some people get to go early while the rest of us are stuck dealing with all the other fucking assholes out there.

And don't get me wrong, I love the idea of humans.... until I get to know them....

As a firefighter I'd think you'd see the humor in what I said.......

That's not why suicide is illegal, though. It's illegal in America because religious taboos against it influenced our laws. Trust me, it's not anther conspiracy to wreck your happiness.

Clearly you've made your peace with living. That's a good thing. You're still living now. You're just not happy. Both those things are in your control.

Nah, happiness is over rated. And I doubt I could be happy. You're right about that. But again.... you missed the fucking point.... it was a joke. Dark Humor. It's how I cope with the fact that I decided I wasn't likely going to kill myself.

I fucking know it's not why it's illegal.... It's just funnier when you put it that way.


But ya you're right. I'm deeply an unhappy person. Tortured even. Don't expect that will end until I die. But I'm happy enough, I mean my kitty comes up and purrs at me and I just adore her. My dog comes up and asks for belly rubs. It's only people that are shit. You do realize that even 5 years ago if you talked to me I wasn't like how I am today. It takes a lot of abuse to push someone to turn out like me dude. There came a tipping point, pretty sure it was Amy the psychopath that pushed me over the edge, and the old me died. Never to return, possibly. I'm rather bitter, and what's that word...fuck can't remember..... oh well. Some sick twisted part of me enjoy's the fact that this world is going to shit. That there's violence in the streets. Like people wanna say shit about the SJW's going crazy. But I say fuck it, I don't want them to stop, I want this to keep getting worse. I want your world to start looking like mine always did. You act the way you act because you're spoiled. You've been sheltered. You're privileged. The fact you keep missing my fucking points demonstrates it. So a sick twisted part of me wants you to see just how fucked up this world can really be, and I don't mean in some intellectual yea bad shit happens, I mean I want you to know the same loneliness and despair I know, the same emptiness. I want you to know what it's like to be hated by everyone, rejected, cast into the dirt and stepped on and when you ask for help I want you to know what it's like for people to shit in your face. Well a sick twisted part of me does, it's a tiny corner of my heart that relishes such things. Most of me would prefer you don't ever experience that. I mean online me and irl me you wouldn't recognize I don't think. Hell just yesterday I had someone say that they really appreciate how "motivated" I am, how "Hardworking" I am, and how I always have a good attitude and good outlook on life. You think I'm not aware of the irony in being told this? I was praised for being more social last few months, going out to local gatherings n shit.

You sir see just a tiny fraction of who I am, you hear only a tiny portion of the things I think. You know damn near nothing about me.... and I'm not stupid enough to think I know a damn thing about you. The world is complicated. Life is complicated. People are exponentially more complicated.

I could tell you 100,000 stories about my life, all of them true and reasonably factually accurate (as accurate as anyone else's memories are) I could tell what what I think day on end and you would still know not a fucking thing about me. But you sure like to think you do. That's actually pretty funny. (admittedly that's partially intentionally, I hide the truth in plain site. The fact that you never fucking get me is mostly by design. Everyone lies. You think I exclude myself when I say this?)

[Thumpalumpacus]

You sir see just a tiny fraction of who I am, you hear only a tiny portion of the things I think. You know damn near nothing about me.... and I'm not stupid enough to think I know a damn thing about you.

You display what you want people to know of you. If I don't know you, that's your fault. I reserve the right to judge you based on what information I can gather. And quite frankly, this admission that you don't reveal anything but a "tiny fraction" of yourself is in itself a data point.

 

The world is complicated. Life is complicated. People are exponentially more complicated.

That there's some profound insight.

I could tell you 100,000 stories about my life, all of them true and reasonably factually accurate (as accurate as anyone else's memories are) I could tell what what I think day on end and you would still know not a fucking thing about me. But you sure like to think you do. That's actually pretty funny. (admittedly that's partially intentionally, I hide the truth in plain site. The fact that you never fucking get me is mostly by design. Everyone lies. You think I exclude myself when I say this?)

You really don't know what I think of you, but just so you don't repeat such an elementary mistake as thinking you do, I'll be perfectly clear; please forgive my bluntness. 

I think you're a brittle personality who has very poor skills when it comes to handling disagreements. I also think you're prone to drama, hyperbole, and didactic thinking. I'm not sure how old you are, but it's clear you have a lot to learn about people. Based on how you present yourself here, you're the kind of person who, in real life, I would avoid.

This is based on the way you present yourself here. If this is inaccurate, perhaps you should try being real rather than lying or displaying a "tiny fraction" of yourself, and then complaining that I misunderstand you. But it's really not that important

By the way, not every lies about themselves online, but I appreciate your bluntness in acknowledging that you yourself do.

[JesseB]

You sir see just a tiny fraction of who I am, you hear only a tiny portion of the things I think. You know damn near nothing about me.... and I'm not stupid enough to think I know a damn thing about you.

You display what you want people to know of you. If I don't know you, that's your fault. I reserve the right to judge you based on what information I can gather. And quite frankly, this admission that you don't reveal anything but a "tiny fraction" of yourself is in itself a data point.

 

The world is complicated. Life is complicated. People are exponentially more complicated.

That there's some profound insight.

I could tell you 100,000 stories about my life, all of them true and reasonably factually accurate (as accurate as anyone else's memories are) I could tell what what I think day on end and you would still know not a fucking thing about me. But you sure like to think you do. That's actually pretty funny. (admittedly that's partially intentionally, I hide the truth in plain site. The fact that you never fucking get me is mostly by design. Everyone lies. You think I exclude myself when I say this?)

You really don't know what I think of you, but just so you don't repeat such an elementary mistake as thinking you do, I'll be perfectly clear; please forgive my bluntness. 

I think you're a brittle personality who has very poor skills when it comes to handling disagreements. I also think you're prone to drama, hyperbole, and didactic thinking. I'm not sure how old you are, but it's clear you have a lot to learn about people. Based on how you present yourself here, you're the kind of person who, in real life, I would avoid.

This is based on the way you present yourself here. If this is inaccurate, perhaps you should try being real rather than lying or displaying a "tiny fraction" of yourself, and then complaining that I misunderstand you. But it's really not that important

By the way, not every lies about themselves online, but I appreciate your bluntness in acknowledging that you yourself do.

Uh.... I said everyone lies. It's actually a quote from Dr. House. Didn't say they reserve their lies to online

But yup, I mostly agree with you on this. In my real life I've tried to be composed, I hate strong displays of emotion, and in fact despite my best efforts to be what people told me I was supposed to be, people like you did avoid me. And by people like you I mean pretty much all humans lol. I don't do well with emotion, and I don't think like other people. Supposedly it's Autism. Fuck all if I know.

What I do know is all this emotion shit.... I was better off just not talking about my feelings, or my thoughts. Keeping everything to myself. In fact dwelling on shit only makes me feel like shit. To some extent I'm actually beginning to draw back to the way I used to be. A completely fake person whom people can tolerate even if I'm a bit odd/off. It's not only easier to get along with people but I do suffer far less. You can blame most of this on my Ex and Amy the psychopath. My ex hated my lack of strong emotional displays, and she left, and some part of me thinks it was because of my social ineptitude that I was never able to convey my feelings well that drove her to leave. Thus I took an interest in people. Prior to that I was pretty fucking happy living in my own little world without the presence of people (aka I mostly ignored everyone, spent years not talking at all to anyone even though surrounded by people), thus began a twisted fucked up Alice in wonderland style delve into the real world where I learned just how shit everyone really is. Amy the psychopath trained me to be more open and honest about my thoughts and feelings. She made it safe, of course this was a game she made it safe so she could learn everything about me so she could later use it to destroy me. I understand this now. It's not because she's a woman, it's because she's a psychopath. I loved my ex wife deeply and 10 years since my divorce that hasn't changed even a little. It will always torment me. I can't stop loving someone. Thus I must be careful who I trust because most people are transient. They aren't friends, they aren't loyal, they aren't capable of love. Only temporary fleeting bullshit. One thing I've learned, over sharing is almost like a drug, it's not in anyway beneficial and seems to even distort one's perspective of reality.

All the stories I have told you are true, even if I fudge some of the details to protect from the parts that actually matter to me, the parts that leave me truly vulnerable. As shit as they are most of what I say really doesn't bother me that much, it's the parts I fudge that bother me. If you payed enough attention you  could figure out the fudges. But you won't and that's ok. No one does.

Keep in mind all the stories are true, however.... 90% of my life has been peaceful tranquility which I have always strive'd hard to maintain. I"m not a fan of discomfort. In fact I work very hard to always avoid discomfort, and I'm probably more sensitive to discomfort than you are, however the things that make me uncomfortable are quite different than what would probably get to you. Again perspective is a powerful thing. My life has been tranquility punctuated with extreme almost outlandish events. For example my dad kicking the shit out of me? My dad had a job where he traveled 90% of his year. My dad was practically non existent. Most divorced dad's get to see their kids more than my dad saw me. Sure the 10% of the time he was there was extremely violent. but to pretend that was a daily occurrence would be a lie. My mom kicked the shit out of me sometimes but far more rare was that. I can tell you know every time my mom kicked the shit out of me she told my dad and I was in for another beating when he would get home. Hell half the time I would have forgotten what I did or that mom beat me up when my dad would "punish" me for it because he'd been gone that long lol. My ex wife and I had a really good relationship until the last 2 years. Sure we struggled with poverty and that never helps a relationship. I worked my ass of to support us though, and we never went hungry and she got to have nice things. This was the arrangement. It didn't have to be this way, she could have worked. It was her choice. My position is whatever the agreement is is fine, guy in charge, girl in charge 50/50 as long as all parties involved are cool with it other people should butt the fuck out. School was pretty positive for me (college anyway), while some bad shit happened I was vice chair of the IEEE club and for the first time mostly felt like I was fitting in reasonably well (when I was younger all the other kids called me a loner, I didn't even know why, there was a lot I never understood until I was much older). Regardless of all the drama you think you see, mostly my life is pretty fucking boring. And I prefer it that way. I'm conflicted though because right or wrong I have this thought based on what my ex wife said that no woman could ever love a boring guy like me. And like it or not, that is the only thing that really matters to me, love and having kids. It's frustrating, I don't know how to fix it. People are complicated. And me? I'm actually quite simple. I just want the rules to be followed. That's it. I want the rules well defined. I actually don't give a flying fuck about most things. As long as the rules are clearly defined and followed I'm pretty fucking happy lol. But that my life isn't the one I want, that torments me, especially since it is an unsolvable puzzle. I can't fix it, I can't logic my way through it. I just have to accept it and I don't want to. Thus the struggle.


I just say a lot of shit cause the one thing that really annoy's me is how everyone pretends their shit doesn't stink. Everyone acts like shit, they just pretend like they don't. Either that or they really can't see how shitty they are being. But hey, it's all subjective, just like morality and ethics. No one is really right. No one ever will be. This acting like your superior, that your values are superior isn't accurate. And by you that's an impersonal you. I don't mean you directly. I mean anyone who reads this. The moment you put yourself in someone elses shoes, or rather the moment the people around you turn on you and treat you like they treat others, that's when you'll finally understand what I'm saying.

Probably why loyalty is likely the single most important virtue. Because it maintains the lie, the facade of superiority, and purity of the in group. Now isn't that fucked up lol. But then a society that eats it's own is far more brutal and dangerous and unpredictable. There is no right or wrong. Or as Hamlet once said....

"Hamlet:
What have you, my good friends, deserv'd at the hands of
Fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?
Guildenstern:
Prison, my lord?
Hamlet:
Denmark's a prison.
Rosencrantz:
Then is the world one.
Hamlet:
A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and
dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.
Rosencrantz:
We think not so, my lord.
Hamlet:
Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison."

Edit: The things my ex wife did to hurt me, she intentionally did to hurt me, the cheating, the rape, the physical assaults. I don't actually hold any of that against her. I have no regrets and no ill will towards her. But I do wish rather than what she'd done that she'd simply murdered me and hid the body so we could both be free. I wouldn't want her to get caught. And I am actually kinda saddened that she never found happiness. She just goes from guy to guy destroying his life because she doesn't realize that her happiness can only come from her. She can't get it by using guys. You're quite right. Only I can make me happy. This is a fact, and this little fact is the cause of so much suffering in the world.

[SYZ]

I think that euthanasia should be available, as an option, for 100% of mentally healthy adults...

...I'm extremely glad, now, that it [euthanasia] was never an option in my country.

Am I reading this incorrectly?  It sounds self-contradictory.

In one breath, you're saying you agree with so-called assisted dying, but then in the second, say
that you're thankful—in hindsight—that the law prevented you from following through with your
wish at the time.  Call me confused.

[EvieTheAvocado]

I think that euthanasia should be available, as an option, for 100% of mentally healthy adults...

...I'm extremely glad, now, that it [euthanasia] was never an option in my country.

Am I reading this incorrectly?  It sounds self-contradictory.

In one breath, you're saying you agree with so-called assisted dying, but then in the second, say
that you're thankful—in hindsight—that the law prevented you from following through with your
wish at the time.  Call me confused.

Re-read my post in its entirety. You've quoted it out of context.

I said that I think euthanasia should be allowed in all cases with just two exceptions and I then made it clear that one of those two exceptions applied to myself in the past.

Pigs will fly before I actually make an obvious contradiction like the one you claimed I made.

[JesseB]

I think that euthanasia should be available, as an option, for 100% of mentally healthy adults...

...I'm extremely glad, now, that it [euthanasia] was never an option in my country.

Am I reading this incorrectly?  It sounds self-contradictory.

In one breath, you're saying you agree with so-called assisted dying, but then in the second, say
that you're thankful—in hindsight—that the law prevented you from following through with your
wish at the time.  Call me confused.

Re-read my post in its entirety. You've quoted it out of context.

I said that I think euthanasia should be allowed in all cases with just two exceptions and I then made it clear that one of those two exceptions applied to myself in the past.

Pigs will fly before I actually make an obvious contradiction like the one you claimed I made.

Careful lest overconfidence be your downfall. But yea I kinda agree with you, you are very careful in what you say to avoid that.

[EvieTheAvocado]

Am I reading this incorrectly?  It sounds self-contradictory.

In one breath, you're saying you agree with so-called assisted dying, but then in the second, say
that you're thankful—in hindsight—that the law prevented you from following through with your
wish at the time.  Call me confused.

Re-read my post in its entirety. You've quoted it out of context.

I said that I think euthanasia should be allowed in all cases with just two exceptions and I then made it clear that one of those two exceptions applied to myself in the past.

Pigs will fly before I actually make an obvious contradiction like the one you claimed I made.

Careful lest overconfidence be your downfall. But yea I kinda agree with you, you are very careful in what you say to avoid that.

If I am caught making a contradiction that obvious then I'll recognize it and say that I was wrong and that I stand corrected.

I actually think that many times I'll make simple statements together that will seem like very obvious contradictions. And I've done so in the past. In this case I was just taken out of context ... but normally it's due to the other person equivocating. Like, I can literally use the same word and say that it both does and doesn't apply at the same time and to the same extent ... and it will look like a flat out and super obvious contradiction ... but it will simply because I'm using the same word in two completely different senses so it isn't a contradiction at all.

Overconfidence can lead to me falling down but I have no problem with falling down as long as I get back up with humility and an acceptance that I made a mistake. Not gonna let a lack of confidence stop me from trying ... and so far my efforts are successful on this matter. Me contradicting myself is like a warm-blooded reptile: rarely seen.

I'd spot the contradiction as I was writing it up, lol. It would never get posted.

[JesseB]

Re-read my post in its entirety. You've quoted it out of context.

I said that I think euthanasia should be allowed in all cases with just two exceptions and I then made it clear that one of those two exceptions applied to myself in the past.

Pigs will fly before I actually make an obvious contradiction like the one you claimed I made.

Careful lest overconfidence be your downfall. But yea I kinda agree with you, you are very careful in what you say to avoid that.

If I am caught making a contradiction that obvious then I'll recognize it and say that I was wrong and that I stand corrected.

I actually think that many times I'll make simple statements together that will seem like very obvious contradictions. And I've done so in the past. In this case I was just taken out of context ... but normally it's due to the other person equivocating. Like, I can literally use the same word and say that it both does and doesn't apply at the same time and to the same extent ... and it will look like a flat out and super obvious contradiction ... but it will simply because I'm using the same word in two completely different senses so it isn't a contradiction at all.

Overconfidence can lead to me falling down but I have no problem with falling down as long as I get back up with humility and an acceptance that I made a mistake. Not gonna let a lack of confidence stop me from trying ... and so far my efforts are successful on this matter. Me contradicting myself is like a warm-blooded reptile: rarely seen.

I'd spot the contradiction as I was writing it up, lol. It would never get posted.

If I actually read the shit I write on this forum, I wouldn't have to make so many fucking edits lol

Edit: My point.

[Mediocharist]

Yep, too messy, unless you go out into the woods....

That's the plan.  Call 911 and tell them where to find me, pull the trigger.

I'd much rather use the barbiturates, though.

My cousins wife came home and found her father-in-law had shot himself in the head.  The scene was horrific.  She was in therapy for a couple of years.  They finally had to move to another house because the memories in that house were too horrible.    One time I was listening to a podcast of the worst jobs people do.  Cleaning up after a  gun to the head at close range was one of the worst.  Brain matter is everywhere.   Sometimes the drywall has to be replaced. The smell is hard to remove.  If I recall correctly, gun shot suicide clean up had a very high job turnover rate.   Just lettin ya know, Chas.

Give access to clean, highly reliable, and readily accessible methods. and maybe brain murals might become less of a problem... Far as I could find, the most reliable methods are medical-grade overdose, gunshot to the head, and trains. Not necessarily in that order.

[EvieTheAvocado]

Careful lest overconfidence be your downfall. But yea I kinda agree with you, you are very careful in what you say to avoid that.

If I am caught making a contradiction that obvious then I'll recognize it and say that I was wrong and that I stand corrected.

I actually think that many times I'll make simple statements together that will seem like very obvious contradictions. And I've done so in the past. In this case I was just taken out of context ... but normally it's due to the other person equivocating. Like, I can literally use the same word and say that it both does and doesn't apply at the same time and to the same extent ... and it will look like a flat out and super obvious contradiction ... but it will simply because I'm using the same word in two completely different senses so it isn't a contradiction at all.

Overconfidence can lead to me falling down but I have no problem with falling down as long as I get back up with humility and an acceptance that I made a mistake. Not gonna let a lack of confidence stop me from trying ... and so far my efforts are successful on this matter. Me contradicting myself is like a warm-blooded reptile: rarely seen.

I'd spot the contradiction as I was writing it up, lol. It would never get posted.

If I actually read the shit I write on this forum, I wouldn't have to make so many fucking edits lol

Edit: My point.

I almost always proof read what I post, nowadays. I read it back after posting it and then edit it. It's usually edited before someone responds.

But that's never to remove a contradiction. That's to remove stuff like typos or grammatical mistakes. It's possible I might make a contradiction due to one of those mistakes: i.e. I leave out the word "not" so my statement becomes the exact opposite to what I intended to say. I don't count that as a contradiction at all though. What I'm actually saying and what the words I write say are different things. I might be saying not X but accidentally leave out the word "not". I'm still not not saying "not" even when I leave "not" out. What I actually say and what my words literally say are two different things.

And that's still different to whatever I'm trying to say. I hope that what I am trying to say and what I actually say are the same thing. This is why when other people are often trying to say XYZ and I check to make sure they haven't typoed or mispoken and written something different to what they were actually saying ... if they confirm that they didn't misspeak ... then I may point out that what they are trying to say doesn't match what they are actually saying. But if they say that the reason it doesn't match was because they typoed/mispoke ... then fair enough. That is, again, completely different to someone saying something and me saying "That doesn't mean what you think it means ..."

Even when I don't proofread ... provided I don't typo I have already read what I'm writing as I write it. I think aloud and I will stop mid-sentence to correct my thoughts even in real life ... it's a combination of pedantry, a need to be correct, a need to tell the truth, a need to not say false things, and O.C.D. all rolled into one.

In real life I'll be rambling to someone and stop mid-sentence to say "Whoops, I said X but I meant Y. X would be incorrect I meant Y. I was saying Y but I misspoke."

May sound like I'm contradicting myself here. But this is because there are two different definitions of the word "say". So, once again, not a contradiction. What someone is saying can refer to both what their words actually say and the meaning they are aiming for.

Same with the word "mean" as well. There's what someone says actually means/says and then there's what they meant/meant to say. Both words involve "say" and "mean" but they are different meanings of the word "say" and "mean".

[JesseB]

That's the plan.  Call 911 and tell them where to find me, pull the trigger.

I'd much rather use the barbiturates, though.

My cousins wife came home and found her father-in-law had shot himself in the head.  The scene was horrific.  She was in therapy for a couple of years.  They finally had to move to another house because the memories in that house were too horrible.    One time I was listening to a podcast of the worst jobs people do.  Cleaning up after a  gun to the head at close range was one of the worst.  Brain matter is everywhere.   Sometimes the drywall has to be replaced. The smell is hard to remove.  If I recall correctly, gun shot suicide clean up had a very high job turnover rate.   Just lettin ya know, Chas.

Give access to clean, highly reliable, and readily accessible methods. and maybe brain murals might become less of a problem... Far as I could find, the most reliable methods are medical-grade overdose, gunshot to the head, and trains. Not necessarily in that order.

I dunno, rigging up a car so that the rotor rolls over your neck seems like it might be highly effective..... though a pain in the ass to rig lol

[JesseB]

If I am caught making a contradiction that obvious then I'll recognize it and say that I was wrong and that I stand corrected.

I actually think that many times I'll make simple statements together that will seem like very obvious contradictions. And I've done so in the past. In this case I was just taken out of context ... but normally it's due to the other person equivocating. Like, I can literally use the same word and say that it both does and doesn't apply at the same time and to the same extent ... and it will look like a flat out and super obvious contradiction ... but it will simply because I'm using the same word in two completely different senses so it isn't a contradiction at all.

Overconfidence can lead to me falling down but I have no problem with falling down as long as I get back up with humility and an acceptance that I made a mistake. Not gonna let a lack of confidence stop me from trying ... and so far my efforts are successful on this matter. Me contradicting myself is like a warm-blooded reptile: rarely seen.

I'd spot the contradiction as I was writing it up, lol. It would never get posted.

If I actually read the shit I write on this forum, I wouldn't have to make so many fucking edits lol

Edit: My point.

I almost always proof read what I post, nowadays. I read it back after posting it and then edit it. It's usually edited before someone responds.

But that's never to remove a contradiction. That's to remove stuff like typos or grammatical mistakes. It's possible I might make a contradiction due to one of those mistakes: i.e. I leave out the word "not" so my statement becomes the exact opposite to what I intended to say. I don't count that as a contradiction at all though. What I'm actually saying and what the words I write say are different things. I might be saying not X but accidentally leave out the word  "not". I'm still not not saying "not" even when I leave "not" out. What I actually say and what my words literally say are two different things.

And that's still different to whatever I'm trying to say. I hope that what I am trying to say and what I actually say are the same thing. This is why when other people are often trying to say XYZ and I check to make sure they haven't typoed or mispoken and written something different to what they were actually saying ... if they confirm that they didn't misspeak ... then I may point out that what they are trying to say doesn't match what they are actually saying. But if they say that the reason it doesn't match was because they typoed/mispoke ... then fair enough. That is, again,  completely different to someone saying something and me saying "That doesn't mean what you think it means ..."

Even when I don't proofread ... provided I don't typo I have already read what I'm writing as I write it. I think aloud and I will stop mid-sentence to correct my thoughts even in real life ... it's a combination of pedantry, a need to be correct, a need to tell the truth, a need to not say false things, and O.C.D. all rolled into one.

In real life I'll be rambling to someone and stop mid-sentence to say "Whoops, I said X but I meant Y. X would be incorrect I meant Y. I was saying Y but I misspoke."

May sound like I'm contradicting myself here. But this is because there are two different definitions of the word "say". So, once again, not a contradiction. What someone is saying can refer to both what their words actually say and the meaning they are aiming for.

Same with the word "mean" as well. There's what someone says actually means/says and then there's what they meant/meant to say. Both words involve "say" and "mean" but they are different meanings of the word "say" and "mean".

Just don't seem to have the energy or desire. I actually used to like debates when I was younger.... I think.... maybe not? I mean I never actually participated in debates because I was always pretty alone and ignored people.... I wrote out long debates both sides of it as a kid, I'd have fun playing one side against the other....


Eh It's like I said. I like the idea of people far more than I like people in reality.

I mentioned somewhere that I used to not understand why the other kids called me a loner. I actually thought my world was filled with people... Then one day I realized it was all just me, my world was filled with books, and writing to me that was the same as people. It actually wasn't until I got married that I started to understand the difference between the people I imagined and liked, the person I actually did like and pretty much everyone else lol. Until Miranda I was never really alone, I mean I hated being singled out as being different. I didn't like being alone but most of the time I wasn't aware of it (except when actively being bullied or having it pointed out) the rest of the time I was too engrossed in the thoughts of writers to realize those writers were mostly long dead. She gave me a desire for companionship. Then took that companionship away.....

[Mediocharist]

My cousins wife came home and found her father-in-law had shot himself in the head.  The scene was horrific.  She was in therapy for a couple of years.  They finally had to move to another house because the memories in that house were too horrible.    One time I was listening to a podcast of the worst jobs people do.  Cleaning up after a  gun to the head at close range was one of the worst.  Brain matter is everywhere.   Sometimes the drywall has to be replaced. The smell is hard to remove.  If I recall correctly, gun shot suicide clean up had a very high job turnover rate.   Just lettin ya know, Chas.

Give access to clean, highly reliable, and readily accessible methods. and maybe brain murals might become less of a problem... Far as I could find, the most reliable methods are medical-grade overdose, gunshot to the head, and trains. Not necessarily in that order.

I dunno, rigging up a car so that the rotor rolls over your neck seems like it might be highly effective..... though a pain in the ass to rig lol

I didn't think I needed to qualify that outlandishly unusual methods may on the off chance have a higher than average success rate.

[EvieTheAvocado]

I like the idea of people far more than I like people in reality.

I'm not a fan of either LOL.

Unless porn counts as an example of the former.

[SYZ]

You sir see just a tiny fraction of who I am, you hear only a tiny portion of the things I think. You know damn near nothing about me.... and I'm not stupid enough to think I know a damn thing about you...

I think you're a brittle personality who has very poor skills when it comes to handling disagreements. I also think you're prone to drama, hyperbole, and didactic thinking. I'm not sure how old you are, but it's clear you have a lot to learn about people. Based on how you present yourself here, you're the kind of person who, in real life, I would avoid.

As someone who has had and still has some ambivalence about Jesse's character and
state of mind, I'd have to agree with this—you've nailed it.

This is based on the way you present yourself here. If this is inaccurate, perhaps you should try being real rather than lying or displaying a "tiny fraction" of yourself, and then complaining that I misunderstand you...

Again, I agree with this.  We can only form an opinion—be it right or wrong—about someone
based on the meagre and/or fulsome personal information they supply.  Jesse consistently
reinforces how bitter he is with both people as individuals, and with society as a whole.  He
presents as a very cynical, pessimistic, angry individual that truly believes he's been dealt a
lousy hand in life.  Which may well be true as he's only disclosed a tiny part of his life—I can't know.

By the way, not every lies about themselves online...

Regardless of what it might seem at times, I personally make it a habit to never lie on forums,
particularly those that are important to me—like this one.  What you see is what you get with me.
And obviously Jesse isn't lying about his state of mind or opinion of the world, but oftentimes
even our own personal truths can be distorted by endogenous thinking or negative exogenous
happenstance—or in actuality be inadvertent untruths.

[JesseB]

You sir see just a tiny fraction of who I am, you hear only a tiny portion of the things I think. You know damn near nothing about me.... and I'm not stupid enough to think I know a damn thing about you...

I think you're a brittle personality who has very poor skills when it comes to handling disagreements. I also think you're prone to drama, hyperbole, and didactic thinking. I'm not sure how old you are, but it's clear you have a lot to learn about people. Based on how you present yourself here, you're the kind of person who, in real life, I would avoid.

As someone who has had and still has some ambivalence about Jesse's character and
state of mind, I'd have to agree with this—you've nailed it.

This is based on the way you present yourself here. If this is inaccurate, perhaps you should try being real rather than lying or displaying a "tiny fraction" of yourself, and then complaining that I misunderstand you...

Again, I agree with this.  We can only form an opinion—be it right or wrong—about someone
based on the meagre and/or fulsome personal information they supply.  Jesse consistently
reinforces how bitter he is with both people as individuals, and with society as a whole.  He
presents as a very cynical, pessimistic, angry individual that truly believes he's been dealt a
lousy hand in life.  Which may well be true as he's only disclosed a tiny part of his life—I can't know.

By the way, not every lies about themselves online...

Regardless of what it might seem at times, I personally make it a habit to never lie on forums,
particularly those that are important to me—like this one.  What you see is what you get with me.
And obviously Jesse isn't lying about his state of mind or opinion of the world, but oftentimes
even our own personal truths can be distorted by endogenous thinking or negative exogenous
happenstance—or in actuality be inadvertent untruths.

And this is why I like you. Fucking brilliantly said. Fully agree.

[JesseB]

I think you're a brittle personality who has very poor skills when it comes to handling disagreements. I also think you're prone to drama, hyperbole, and didactic thinking. I'm not sure how old you are, but it's clear you have a lot to learn about people. Based on how you present yourself here, you're the kind of person who, in real life, I would avoid.

As someone who has had and still has some ambivalence about Jesse's character and
state of mind, I'd have to agree with this—you've nailed it.

This is based on the way you present yourself here. If this is inaccurate, perhaps you should try being real rather than lying or displaying a "tiny fraction" of yourself, and then complaining that I misunderstand you...

Again, I agree with this.  We can only form an opinion—be it right or wrong—about someone
based on the meagre and/or fulsome personal information they supply.  Jesse consistently
reinforces how bitter he is with both people as individuals, and with society as a whole.  He
presents as a very cynical, pessimistic, angry individual that truly believes he's been dealt a
lousy hand in life.  Which may well be true as he's only disclosed a tiny part of his life—I can't know.

By the way, not every lies about themselves online...

Regardless of what it might seem at times, I personally make it a habit to never lie on forums,
particularly those that are important to me—like this one.  What you see is what you get with me.
And obviously Jesse isn't lying about his state of mind or opinion of the world, but oftentimes
even our own personal truths can be distorted by endogenous thinking or negative exogenous
happenstance—or in actuality be inadvertent untruths.

And this is why I like you. Fucking brilliantly said. Fully agree.

I'm fully aware that much of what you think I am would instantly change given a couple of relatively small external changes were to happen in life that are outside my ability to control. Actually most of what I bitch about isn't that big of a problem, I think the phrase is making a mountain out of a mole hill. It's the couple of things that can't be controlled that cause rage that can not be dealt with.

That combined with an error in cognition which results in something of a self fulfilling prophecy. Along with some logical equations I can't solve. Like I simply don't have the answer compounds the issue. I mean anytime someone gives me a broken puzzle that can't be solved (usually in the form of some joke that socially adept people can solve easily often enough) I get extremely stressed out. Which exacerbates the paragraph above.


That and I have a general tendency to what did my mom call it engage in catastrophic thinking, basically everything is fine until something is not and then it's the fucking end of the world. Yup well aware of this. I do try to keep some perspective on this in the form of um.... how do you put it..... 

Well you know that quote I always use from Ender's game? "It's just a half truth, you can deal with the other half when we win this war."

I can only deal with so many variables in an equation at a time, at some point conflicts will arise thus I categorize, solve one at a time. I can only present one at a time, none of them are really "true" they are all just small pieces of the puzzle. The ones I tend to vocalize are the ones I struggle with and need more data (often in the form of others equally ignorant opinions lol) to try and attempt to sort it out. It's all very complicated, made mostly by the fact that at some point I decided to include social interactions in my life. Something I'm ill suited too and would be better off without.

(I still think it's pretty fucked that just because i'm bad at social interactions I have to be demonized and treated like shit. But bigots gonna bigot. There's no way even if I tried to fit in with them and get along with them that I could ever be successful, thus I stopped trying. Now I go my own way trying to sort it all out. For better or worse as the case may be)


And to any who think I just need therapy lol I spent much of my life doing that it never helped and I think I might have driven at least a couple of people insane. It wasn't intentional I promise.

[Dom]

That's the plan.  Call 911 and tell them where to find me, pull the trigger.

I'd much rather use the barbiturates, though.

My cousins wife came home and found her father-in-law had shot himself in the head.  The scene was horrific.  She was in therapy for a couple of years.  They finally had to move to another house because the memories in that house were too horrible.    One time I was listening to a podcast of the worst jobs people do.  Cleaning up after a  gun to the head at close range was one of the worst.  Brain matter is everywhere.   Sometimes the drywall has to be replaced. The smell is hard to remove.  If I recall correctly, gun shot suicide clean up had a very high job turnover rate.   Just lettin ya know, Chas.

Give access to clean, highly reliable, and readily accessible methods. and maybe brain murals might become less of a problem... Far as I could find, the most reliable methods are medical-grade overdose, gunshot to the head, and trains. Not necessarily in that order.

Helium

[skyking]

Nitrogen too, I posted a link in another thread.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_bag

[Mark]

My cousins wife came home and found her father-in-law had shot himself in the head.  The scene was horrific.  She was in therapy for a couple of years.  They finally had to move to another house because the memories in that house were too horrible.    One time I was listening to a podcast of the worst jobs people do.  Cleaning up after a  gun to the head at close range was one of the worst.  Brain matter is everywhere.   Sometimes the drywall has to be replaced. The smell is hard to remove.  If I recall correctly, gun shot suicide clean up had a very high job turnover rate.   Just lettin ya know, Chas.

Give access to clean, highly reliable, and readily accessible methods. and maybe brain murals might become less of a problem... Far as I could find, the most reliable methods are medical-grade overdose, gunshot to the head, and trains. Not necessarily in that order.

Helium

Really, helium would be lethal?  Then all I need to do is buy a tank and perhaps a few party balloons to avoid drawing attention.  Maybe I could record my final words in a Donald Duck voice.

[Fireball]

Give access to clean, highly reliable, and readily accessible methods. and maybe brain murals might become less of a problem... Far as I could find, the most reliable methods are medical-grade overdose, gunshot to the head, and trains. Not necessarily in that order.

Helium

Really, helium would be lethal?  Then all I need to do is buy a tank and perhaps a few party balloons to avoid drawing attention.  Maybe I could record my final words in a Donald Duck voice.

Any gas not containing your minimum requirement of oxygen will kill you. Helium and nitrogen do not cause the "guppy breathing" when close to death by say, Carbon monoxide or Carbon dioxide.