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08-02-2020, 01:43 AM
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So tonight during dinner my wife suddenly said " if Trump died in office, who would eulogize him? "
I was momentarily silent - contemplating the sheer joy of Fuckface keeling over dead in the Oval Office - but after thinking about it for a few moments the only name I could come up with was "Putin."
After a chuckle, we finally agreed that the only people who lacked the personal integrity to be willing to stand up there and lie about what a wonderful human the greedy, perverted, fuck was would be some evangelical bullshit artist like Franklin Graham.
Who would you think would do it?
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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08-02-2020, 01:48 AM
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(08-02-2020, 01:43 AM)Minimalist Wrote: So tonight during dinner my wife suddenly said " if Trump died in office, who would eulogize him? "
I was momentarily silent - contemplating the sheer joy of Fuckface keeling over dead in the Oval Office - but after thinking about it for a few moments the only name I could come up with was "Putin."
After a chuckle, we finally agreed that the only people who lacked the personal integrity to be willing to stand up there and lie about what a wonderful human the greedy, perverted, fuck was would be some evangelical bullshit artist like Franklin Graham.
Who would you think would do it?
Barr, his kids.. some republicans.
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08-02-2020, 01:50 AM
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People who believe in speaking well of the dead, regardless....
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08-02-2020, 01:59 AM
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I'm sure he has some weekend at Bernie's clause. He would not leave the office under any circumstances.
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08-02-2020, 02:39 AM
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One of his daughters would do the task. The greater question is - would he lay in state in the Nation's Capital and if he is who would come by to honor his body and would he have a military funeral? He's a fucking traiter but his stupid cult followers would come by wearing their Maga hats.
When he dies I'll celebrate.
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08-02-2020, 02:58 AM
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When he dies, wherever he is buried, if I happened to be in the vicinity, I wouldn't even cross the street to piss on his grave.
That said, if he dies in office, he gets the full deal, more's the pity. It's honoring the office of the president, but sure as fuck isn't deserved by that jackass.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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08-02-2020, 03:02 AM
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Ted Cruz. That twat would eulogize his mother's murderer if he thought there was something in it for him.
On hiatus.
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08-02-2020, 03:12 AM
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(08-02-2020, 01:50 AM)Alan V Wrote: People who believe in speaking well of the dead, regardless....
Invariably, the dead have people who loved them, and I do respect grief and would not speak badly about someone where they can hear it. When you get old and everyone you knew is dead, you learn to make allowances for grieving along the way. I am considerate that way.
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08-02-2020, 03:20 AM
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I would dance on his grave, and broadcast it on every media outlet available.
Fuck him!
Fuck his family!
Fuck them, right where they breath!
The shit I took at birth has more value than any of them!
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08-02-2020, 03:24 AM
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(08-02-2020, 01:48 AM)Dom Wrote: (08-02-2020, 01:43 AM)Minimalist Wrote: So tonight during dinner my wife suddenly said " if Trump died in office, who would eulogize him? "
I was momentarily silent - contemplating the sheer joy of Fuckface keeling over dead in the Oval Office - but after thinking about it for a few moments the only name I could come up with was "Putin."
After a chuckle, we finally agreed that the only people who lacked the personal integrity to be willing to stand up there and lie about what a wonderful human the greedy, perverted, fuck was would be some evangelical bullshit artist like Franklin Graham.
Who would you think would do it?
Barr, his kids.. some republicans.
Possible. I think Barr might be flying to Brazil for asylum. His kids are pretty inarticulate. Maybe Louis Gohmert would do it.
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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08-02-2020, 03:25 AM
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(08-02-2020, 01:50 AM)Alan V Wrote: People who believe in speaking well of the dead, regardless....
yeah.... and someone with a strong stomach.
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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08-02-2020, 03:27 AM
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(08-02-2020, 03:02 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: Ted Cruz. That twat would eulogize his mother's murderer if he thought there was something in it for him.
Maybe Ted Cruz' wife would do it? 
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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08-02-2020, 05:17 PM
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(08-02-2020, 01:43 AM)Minimalist Wrote: So tonight during dinner my wife suddenly said " if Trump died in office, who would eulogize him? "
I was momentarily silent - contemplating the sheer joy of Fuckface keeling over dead in the Oval Office - but after thinking about it for a few moments the only name I could come up with was "Putin."
After a chuckle, we finally agreed that the only people who lacked the personal integrity to be willing to stand up there and lie about what a wonderful human the greedy, perverted, fuck was would be some evangelical bullshit artist like Franklin Graham.
Who would you think would do it?
Nobody except maybe the white supremacists.
There would be a massive crowd outside the White House singing DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD.
-Teresa
There is in the universe only one true divide, one real binary, life and death. Either you are living or you are not. Everything else is molten, malleable.
-Susan Faludi, In the Darkroom
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08-02-2020, 05:22 PM
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Whenever he dies or leaves office I never want to think about him again. There will be plenty to do to restore checks and balances. The main thing is we have to idiot proof the presidency. Plan as if the most ignorant, malevolent, petty and destructive person in the country could be our next president now that that has already happened once.
"Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.
―F. D.
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08-02-2020, 05:30 PM
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I imagine they could get his kids to say a few words and then maybe a few obscure hard-core supporters, but that will be about it.
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08-02-2020, 05:44 PM
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They could go to Jared. 
Mountain-high though the difficulties appear, terrible and gloomy though all things seem, they are but Mâyâ.
Fear not — it is banished. Crush it, and it vanishes. Stamp upon it, and it dies.
Vivekananda
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08-02-2020, 05:44 PM
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(08-02-2020, 05:30 PM)jerry mcmasters Wrote: I imagine they could get his kids to say a few words and then maybe a few obscure hard-core supporters, but that will be about it.
I wonder if MSNBC will carry the ceremony live?
"Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.
―F. D.
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08-02-2020, 05:48 PM
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(08-02-2020, 05:44 PM)Dānu Wrote: They could go to Jared.
I see what you did there. 
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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08-02-2020, 09:21 PM
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Jeesuz Christ, people. Pence. Pence would eulogize the shit out of him, joyous that his moment in the sun had come at last: he would be president for a week or two.
also on the praise train: every GOP person everywhere. He’ll be transfigurated into Saint Donald, martyr to the pressures of the left.
god, ugh
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08-02-2020, 09:28 PM
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Pence is boring.
![[Image: tenor.gif]](https://media1.tenor.com/images/203510771565ce68474dec1bdffa34d3/tenor.gif)
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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08-02-2020, 09:45 PM
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Trump cultists, obviously.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” -Carl Sagan.
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08-02-2020, 09:54 PM
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(08-02-2020, 09:28 PM)Minimalist Wrote: Pence is boring.
Pence is the next president after puppet, if puppet finally gets one of the diseases. So he’ll be the choice.
Optimal: no. Practical: yes. He’ll muster up the sum of actual enthusiasm of the GOP.
god, ugh
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08-02-2020, 10:42 PM
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And I don't know about the rest of you, but that shitstain doesn't come up during meals at the Fireball domicile. The wife and I went to lunch yesterday (outdoor patio dining) for the first time in 5 months, and the owner of the restaurant gave us a spiel about how masks don't stop such a small virus. I didn't beg to differ with him, since he did have a mask on. But I wasn't there to listen to stupid ideas, I was getting hangry.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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08-02-2020, 10:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-02-2020, 10:54 PM by M.Linoge.)
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Eddie Gallagher.
The war-criminal psychopath SEAL whose demotion was reversed by Trump.
(I know, I know, he wasn't convicted of everything he was accused of, just posing in a photo with a dead teenager, so the rest of the charges were probably made up...  )
"The advantage of faith over reason, is that reason requires understanding. Which usually requires education; resources of time and money.
Religion needs none of that. - It empowers the lowliest idiot to pretend that he is wiser than the wise, ignoring all the indications otherwise "
- A. Ra
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08-02-2020, 11:29 PM
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Perhaps Frederick Douglass might do it?
Robert G. Ingersoll : “No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.”
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